Parents of older teens, what age for Snapchat?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read any good reasons to allow Snapchat for minors in this thread. All just bad outcomes and parents afraid of parenting.

Sums it up.
But kids will use it regardless, as parents cannot control their online behavior. Kids always find out how to get around any restrictions.

Best to just make it something undesirable. Like "video games are for geeks and nerds" and they will never want to play video games.

Not true. You can easily block Snapchat on your kids phone and/or on your home router. Sure they could get a burner phone but most kids don’t have the ability or motivation to do that for Snapchat, it’s not that big of a deal.

Kids all have varying access to apps so in my experience most kids just text because that’s what everyone has.

You could not be more wrong. All you need is an old phone and wifi access. Even if they don't have one lying around the house, kids give them to friends at school or rent/sell them for like $10-20. And your home router can not block an app. There is so many work arounds. And at least in my kid's public school, the wifi is free and it allows snapchat. And if they can't do that, they just create their own account on a friend's phone and then use it and log on thru friends phones multiple times a day. It is very very easy for one person to have 3-4 log ins of friends on snap on their phone.

Listen, I get it. You try your best, but the fact is once teens get to an age where 90% of them are communicating only thru Snap, they don't want to be the one left out. I understand avoiding it in middle school, but it's better to come up with guidelines together, at least by high school. For my 15yr old, I have the app on my phone with her log ins and only I know the password and the account is under my cell and email, so I get notifications of changing passwords or adding anything. She gets 60min a day on app limits also run thru my phone thru family sharing. She has to keep on 24hrs to delete, not delete immediately. I can technically log in any time and check and she won't know when I do. At this point, I barely check. She and her friends like changing their bit moji and tracking where they are and send stupid things thru their private stories. A lot of moms are on snap too. It's a way to keep in touch and keep a snap streak going. I can totally see how much fun it is. For the way I have set up, it is much safer than iMessages that can be deleted quickly and can only be checked by accessing their phone directly. Snap keeps a log if I request it and I can check her snap even if she is not home or away on vacation with a friend etc....

You can block burner phones or whatever devices you want on your home router.

So we’re left with snap-determined kid buys an old phone off a school buddy and only uses it on school wifi, where our school does not allow phone use during school hours? Or creates an account they check on other kids’ phones when they are alone? I’d prefer that risk over allowing it everyday.

DP. Okay, be that parent. Your kid has a burner phone. There are more and more every year and the kids with the strictest parents or the ones that get their phones taken for punishment all have them. They also have VPNs installed and if they are even a little tech savvy, you don’t know when they are connecting to your home device and they can get around any of your controls or the school controls. -J’s teacher

Please explain to me how a device could connect to my wifi network without the admin (me) seeing it. I doubt he has a burner phone because I know most of his friends and they text together.

These kids who are so obsessed with Snapchat that they get burner phones they secretly use only at school when teachers aren’t looking sound like real losers. Sorry lots of kids just aren’t that into it.

You sit hourly and check your router’s device history. Be real lady.

My daughter has a friend like you and they used a neighbors wifi or a hotspot. It’s rly not as hard as you think. And kids unfortunately are on their phones during school, but if my mom was this much of a stickler, I can see where a kid would prioritize a burner phone during school to socialize.

No, I have an app for my router and get an alert anytime a new device tries to connect. I can then choose to allow or block. They can’t connect to a neighbor’s WiFi without knowing the password. They can’t use a hotspot unless they are literally right next to their friends. Sounds like you could really stand to invest a little more time in learning the basics to better protect your kids. Or are you always going to be one of those old ladies who needs their kids’ help logging onto AOL?

No, you can’t be 100% sure they aren’t moving heaven and earth to get Snapchat but why just give them the keys to the car? And who on earth are these kids so obsessed with Snapchat? No one in my family is big on social media, we tend to make fun of it. Maybe this is a bigger problem for MLM lifestyle coach moms who post fashion advice and family vacation photos on insta all day.

Yes, you have teens who sit around with Mommy and Daddy and laugh and make fun of social media. So they don't even want it, right? Perfect. So you don't need all of your blocks and hacks and walls then. But you have them? Make it make sense

[Anonymous]

NP. I never particularly restricted social media but both my dcs schools had strict no phones policies and both my dc were extremely active.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m also in LE
Currently we have a missing 13yo who has been previously assaulted while meeting their dealer over Snapchat to buy weed. No to Snapchat.

I’m not pro social media at all. But couldn’t a teen delete text messages, Instagram DMs etc if they really want? All of it is bad but not sure Snapchat avoids all issues.

Snapchat isn’t just about disappearing texts between friends. It’s a social network where there are lots of unsavory characters (drug dealers, pedos, etc) advertising and/or connecting with kids they would never be able to reach otherwise.

You sound like Tipper Gore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids would all be better off if parents would just say no to these things.

No, hard rules don’t create anything other than wanting to rebel. You just make sure they have a good friend group and are busy and productive. Snapchat is fine. Saying a kid can’t he on it at all is dumb and embarrassing for them.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Normal kids are on Discord. Trashy kids are on Snapchat.

Discord is for middle school boys and it is by far the worst for bullying

Simply not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Snapchat is the way they communicate. We don’t allow tik tok because parents jobs don’t allow it.

It is ONE way SOME kids communicate.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kids got it at around 7th or 8th grade. No issues. Snapchat truly has replaced texting and teens without it are going to have a hard time socially.

Not for everyone. It is literally not the only chat app. There are other options, which apparently my kids and most of their friends prefer. Though some of their friends do use snap chat, it really isn't a problem for them to talk to their friends other ways.

My oldest is a young adult now who is way beyond lying to mom and dad (and frankly was never a good liar), never had it, never liked it, and basically says, what you use depends on what you are into and what that group of friends is into. He moved away from what he called "the middle snap chat crowd" very quickly, because they were up to no good in his opinion. He happens to have a strong, leader-type personality, so I get that not every kid would have the confidence to make that call and get his friends to follow instead of reject him for it - it's not easy. But my only point is that it simply isn't true that "everyone" is using it or that you can't communicate with your friends without it. Many do. All you have to do is choose a different app with your friends. If your kid can't do that, go into the teen years with eyes wide open because they will continue to follow the crowd.

This has been our experience although our oldest aren’t adults yet. The Snapchat kids were the “fast” ones who are hung up on being cool, obsessed with Insta shots, etc. My kids just aren’t into that and stick with texting their friend groups. Never had an issue.

That's what my kids said too. It is the lure of its illicit reputation that sucks these kids into it.

[Anonymous]

Most of you sound insane

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never. It has been used to bully.

Agree. My son was bullied through that app.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These posters who are saying 18, your kids are driving at 16 but you won’t let them have Snapchat? Have you ever been on it? It’s basically just a way to text each other. Instead of banning things, teach them to set controls. You don’t want them getting these things when they first go to college. We all knew the kids who went wild. Our kids all have friends with strict parents who have secret accounts in HS. Don’t be that parent.

It is not just texting. The messages delete themselves so adults really don’t know what is happening. The tracking mechanism can be very hurtful and dangerous. Twice my son was friended by people who said they went to his school but clearly did not. It is scary. Bullying happens because there is no record of it.

[Anonymous]

The question is about older teens, right? These days most older teens know about the dangers of social media and handle it responsibly. If this were about middle schoolers, I’d be more worried.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:These posters who are saying 18, your kids are driving at 16 but you won’t let them have Snapchat? Have you ever been on it? It’s basically just a way to text each other. Instead of banning things, teach them to set controls. You don’t want them getting these things when they first go to college. We all knew the kids who went wild. Our kids all have friends with strict parents who have secret accounts in HS. Don’t be that parent.

It is not just texting. The messages delete themselves so adults really don’t know what is happening. The tracking mechanism can be very hurtful and dangerous. Twice my son was friended by people who said they went to his school but clearly did not. It is scary. Bullying happens because there is no record of it.

The adults should NOT know what’s happening with older teens for the most part. Teach your kid common sense and boundaries. You’re not protecting him by raising a snowflake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The question is about older teens, right? These days most older teens know about the dangers of social media and handle it responsibly. If this were about middle schoolers, I’d be more worried.

Every normal teen uses snap chat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Normal kids are on Discord. Trashy kids are on Snapchat.

Are you joking?? Discord is for weird kids and gamer incels. High school girls do not use discord. Many boys do but they will never interact with any girls on there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posters who are saying 18, your kids are driving at 16 but you won’t let them have Snapchat? Have you ever been on it? It’s basically just a way to text each other. Instead of banning things, teach them to set controls. You don’t want them getting these things when they first go to college. We all knew the kids who went wild. Our kids all have friends with strict parents who have secret accounts in HS. Don’t be that parent.

It is not just texting. The messages delete themselves so adults really don’t know what is happening. The tracking mechanism can be very hurtful and dangerous. Twice my son was friended by people who said they went to his school but clearly did not. It is scary. Bullying happens because there is no record of it.

The adults should NOT know what’s happening with older teens for the most part. Teach your kid common sense and boundaries. You’re not protecting him by raising a snowflake

No

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/teens-death-small-michigan-town-led-fbi-police-online-sexual-extortion-rcna120556


This is Instagram but can happen on any social media

These teens need our help. I wouldn't expect my teen to go toe to toe with another adult whi is trying to mislead with out standing behind them.