Feel awkward going to our school fundraising gala

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, We moved our kids from private schools to public because the kids and parents are so much nicer. Maybe try that and you will be happier? Worked for us.

Come on private schools have plenty of nice parents. Clearly one poster is ebbing on the OP. Most likely not even a private school parent as there are a few public school trolls that are on this forum daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It should be a cocktail party format. The way your school does it sounds awkward if you aren’t part of a group. But you could take the gamble again about getting assigned a seat. Otherwise skipping it is fine!

Cocktail parties are brief. These are longer events so you have to serve some food. Also to justify the ticket price. You can't expect people to stand around for a few hours and not be fed. Imagine the uproar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Glad many share my feelings on this. What makes it more awkward is when other parents start asking us if we are attending and then I have to make up some lame excuse as to why we aren't. What do you usually say?

“We can’t we have family in town.”

“Not this year - we have a milestone birthday party ie: 40th 50th etc”

“Can’t make it! Next year for sure!”

We’re just going to write a check and skip the event.

[Anonymous]

Well, I was an introverted newbie at the NCS event, but still had a reasonably good time. Organizers: it felt flawless, drinks & food & everything just flowed. (The “sit down now” etc. texts went to my watch, so they weren’t too weird to get.) The auction was more fun to watch than I expected! But it also felt like a pretty seriously lifer crowd; did not see a lot of other parents new to MS or US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP ~ how about you be A Big Girl and manage somehow. Oh the challenges you face!

Well, same to you when you have challenges that I find easy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think about what you would tell your kids in this situation. It’s not the worst thing in the world to sit at a table with some people you don’t know for a few hours. If it were your kids, you’d encourage them to meet new people and work on their social skills, wouldn’t you? You can do the same. Best case scenario you make a new friend or two, worst case you have a meh experience and just end up talking to your spouse.

It’s ok to experience discomfort in life, you know.

OMG this is such a load of crap. This is not an event of importance. It's a frickin fundraiser for a school. If the school gets the money they need from donations, no one NEEDS to attend these stupid events.

There are plenty of times in life when we have to experience discomfort. We don't need to manufacture more so extroverted jerks can lecture introverts on how they can "stretch and grow".

Get over yourselves.

[Anonymous]

An internet website can do what these scumbag fundraisers do and link it to an informative article that clarifies the loopholes in dodging taxes

[Anonymous]

Our kids’ high school has the same seated dinner format described by OP. We donate and don’t attend. It’s awkward setup for those not in on a friend table (my DH and I are not) and after a year at a table of randos that was half empty we were like not worth it. Donate and a “we can’t make it this year” is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about what you would tell your kids in this situation. It’s not the worst thing in the world to sit at a table with some people you don’t know for a few hours. If it were your kids, you’d encourage them to meet new people and work on their social skills, wouldn’t you? You can do the same. Best case scenario you make a new friend or two, worst case you have a meh experience and just end up talking to your spouse.

It’s ok to experience discomfort in life, you know.

OMG this is such a load of crap. This is not an event of importance. It's a frickin fundraiser for a school. If the school gets the money they need from donations, no one NEEDS to attend these stupid events.

There are plenty of times in life when we have to experience discomfort. We don't need to manufacture more so extroverted jerks can lecture introverts on how they can "stretch and grow".

Get over yourselves.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I was an introverted newbie at the NCS event, but still had a reasonably good time. Organizers: it felt flawless, drinks & food & everything just flowed. (The “sit down now” etc. texts went to my watch, so they weren’t too weird to get.) The auction was more fun to watch than I expected! But it also felt like a pretty seriously lifer crowd; did not see a lot of other parents new to MS or US.

New to NCS as well and the event was really fun. Many thanks to the organizers for all the hard work.

[Anonymous]

Wtf do these people need donations when they charge tuitions comparable to private colleges. I am guessing it's a tax dodging program that's so popular in the US as lobbiests help create a unfair playing field where rich people get more and more head starts and moving goal posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wtf do these people need donations when they charge tuitions comparable to private colleges. I am guessing it's a tax dodging program that's so popular in the US as lobbiests help create a unfair playing field where rich people get more and more head starts and moving goal posts.

Are you a public school parent trolling here again? I think maybe because if you were a private school parent you would understand.

The Benefit/Gala for Financial Aid clearly states it raising money for financial aid. How is that not clear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, We moved our kids from private schools to public because the kids and parents are so much nicer. Maybe try that and you will be happier? Worked for us.

Come on private schools have plenty of nice parents. Clearly one poster is ebbing on the OP. Most likely not even a private school parent as there are a few public school trolls that are on this forum daily.

PP here, yes of course there are plenty of nice parents at private schools (I happened to be one for a couple of years), and plenty of not so nice parents at public. But my observation was based on a lot of data points at both schools, and this thread illustrates the insecurities and anxieties that a lot of private school parents feel about fitting in with the cool parent crowd. The fact that this thread is going strong after 10 pages is proof that the OP is not alone in her feelings. Many posters share her hesitation about these events, and the mean, gaslighting posts that were critical of her (which I doubt are trolls, because I know plenty of private parents who think that way) provided good examples of the exclusive and snooty mindset that caused the OP to feel as she does. There is little or none of that at public schools, at least in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, We moved our kids from private schools to public because the kids and parents are so much nicer. Maybe try that and you will be happier? Worked for us.

Come on private schools have plenty of nice parents. Clearly one poster is ebbing on the OP. Most likely not even a private school parent as there are a few public school trolls that are on this forum daily.

PP here, yes of course there are plenty of nice parents at private schools (I happened to be one for a couple of years), and plenty of not so nice parents at public. But my observation was based on a lot of data points at both schools, and this thread illustrates the insecurities and anxieties that a lot of private school parents feel about fitting in with the cool parent crowd. The fact that this thread is going strong after 10 pages is proof that the OP is not alone in her feelings. Many posters share her hesitation about these events, and the mean, gaslighting posts that were critical of her (which I doubt are trolls, because I know plenty of private parents who think that way) provided good examples of the exclusive and snooty mindset that caused the OP to feel as she does. There is little or none of that at public schools, at least in my experience.

I don't mean to be rude but if you are not a private school parent anymore then why are you taking time to post on this site? I would think you would be investing your time and energy and efforts into the public school forums? Why post here? You made your decision and have left private schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, We moved our kids from private schools to public because the kids and parents are so much nicer. Maybe try that and you will be happier? Worked for us.

Come on private schools have plenty of nice parents. Clearly one poster is ebbing on the OP. Most likely not even a private school parent as there are a few public school trolls that are on this forum daily.

PP here, yes of course there are plenty of nice parents at private schools (I happened to be one for a couple of years), and plenty of not so nice parents at public. But my observation was based on a lot of data points at both schools, and this thread illustrates the insecurities and anxieties that a lot of private school parents feel about fitting in with the cool parent crowd. The fact that this thread is going strong after 10 pages is proof that the OP is not alone in her feelings. Many posters share her hesitation about these events, and the mean, gaslighting posts that were critical of her (which I doubt are trolls, because I know plenty of private parents who think that way) provided good examples of the exclusive and snooty mindset that caused the OP to feel as she does. There is little or none of that at public schools, at least in my experience.

Parent going from public -> private here, and there absolutely is an "in-crowd" of parents in all the grades my kids are in at our public. A couple of the grades even have multiple little or medium sized cliques. These spill over into neighborhoods, pools, and local sports leagues. It doesn't bother me terribly much, but it certainly exists.