Would you leave a 6-7yo home alone for 10-30 min?

[Anonymous]

I feel like the kid who wants to be left at home is the kid you probably want to take with you.

Just saying.

[Anonymous]

I am from Europe, where kids have much more freedom than in the US. For example, my kids (6&7) could go to the nearby playground by themselves when we were visiting family last summer. They were fine with that. Interestingly enough, they were not comfortable staying home alone. So it probably depends on the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least two of us have posted about how our parents left us home for 10-15 minutes while they took siblings to some activity or another and we've been completely ignored. Both I and the other PP posted about how scared we were, and she said she never told her mom how scared she was and I didn't either. My mom would say "I'm dropping X off for practice and will be back in 10 minutes. Stand here by the door and wait for me." and I remember standing by the door scared to death that someone would come knock on the door and I wouldn't know what to do, or the phone would ring and I would have to answer it, but I was too young to be able to express this fear to my mother. I can't imagine putting my 7 year old in that situation.

Shame on you all for thinking about "oh no, there wouldn't be an emergency" or "Oh but Larla is so independent she would be fine" and not actually really thinking about your children's feelings.

I'm the PP who mentioned the accidents with blinds and a window. I have a single memory of being left alone while young. I was about 5 years old, and my mom had me lie down on the couch and watch Snow white. It was kind of a surprise, because she had never let me do this kind of thing. She said to stay there, and she was going to go to the library and come back really quick. I have very vivid memories of that Snow White movie! I'm sure she was gone longer than 20 minutes. But I was a little bit confused, and like other posters mentioned, I didn't have ways to express my feelings. Kids at this age will just say okay, and not know how to express their discomfort confusion etc. I would never put any of my children in that same place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least two of us have posted about how our parents left us home for 10-15 minutes while they took siblings to some activity or another and we've been completely ignored. Both I and the other PP posted about how scared we were, and she said she never told her mom how scared she was and I didn't either. My mom would say "I'm dropping X off for practice and will be back in 10 minutes. Stand here by the door and wait for me." and I remember standing by the door scared to death that someone would come knock on the door and I wouldn't know what to do, or the phone would ring and I would have to answer it, but I was too young to be able to express this fear to my mother. I can't imagine putting my 7 year old in that situation.

Shame on you all for thinking about "oh no, there wouldn't be an emergency" or "Oh but Larla is so independent she would be fine" and not actually really thinking about your children's feelings.

I feel like everyone is in tune with their own kids, your mom wasn't, but it is silly to act like this is universal. I am an anecdote in the opposite direction, was left alone all the time and preferred it! Mine were actually excited to do it. Different kids react differently to different things. That said, if I used my child's apprehension as a barometer for whether we should do anything at all then they would grow up not doing much! Pushing them to try even if they are a bit scared and see there is nothing to be scared of IMO helps children get over unnecessary fears. But again if I had a kid who was terrified of this I would not do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least two of us have posted about how our parents left us home for 10-15 minutes while they took siblings to some activity or another and we've been completely ignored. Both I and the other PP posted about how scared we were, and she said she never told her mom how scared she was and I didn't either. My mom would say "I'm dropping X off for practice and will be back in 10 minutes. Stand here by the door and wait for me." and I remember standing by the door scared to death that someone would come knock on the door and I wouldn't know what to do, or the phone would ring and I would have to answer it, but I was too young to be able to express this fear to my mother. I can't imagine putting my 7 year old in that situation.

Shame on you all for thinking about "oh no, there wouldn't be an emergency" or "Oh but Larla is so independent she would be fine" and not actually really thinking about your children's feelings.

I feel like everyone is in tune with their own kids, your mom wasn't, but it is silly to act like this is universal. I am an anecdote in the opposite direction, was left alone all the time and preferred it! Mine were actually excited to do it. Different kids react differently to different things. That said, if I used my child's apprehension as a barometer for whether we should do anything at all then they would grow up not doing much! Pushing them to try even if they are a bit scared and see there is nothing to be scared of IMO helps children get over unnecessary fears. But again if I had a kid who was terrified of this I would not do it.

I’m the runner. The strength of the reactions gave me pause for thought. So I asked my then-4yo now-14yo if she remembered how she had felt when I left them a few times to go for a run. She had no idea what just I was talking about. No recollection whatsoever. Probably because they had very little screen time and so were excited to watch TV together while I was out. They would barely look up when I got home. Or maybe because it was no more than a few times.

I’m sorry some of the posters were obviously scarred by their experiences of being left alone. I can certainly imagine being left with nobody else would be scary for a young child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least two of us have posted about how our parents left us home for 10-15 minutes while they took siblings to some activity or another and we've been completely ignored. Both I and the other PP posted about how scared we were, and she said she never told her mom how scared she was and I didn't either. My mom would say "I'm dropping X off for practice and will be back in 10 minutes. Stand here by the door and wait for me." and I remember standing by the door scared to death that someone would come knock on the door and I wouldn't know what to do, or the phone would ring and I would have to answer it, but I was too young to be able to express this fear to my mother. I can't imagine putting my 7 year old in that situation.

Shame on you all for thinking about "oh no, there wouldn't be an emergency" or "Oh but Larla is so independent she would be fine" and not actually really thinking about your children's feelings.

I feel like everyone is in tune with their own kids, your mom wasn't, but it is silly to act like this is universal. I am an anecdote in the opposite direction, was left alone all the time and preferred it! Mine were actually excited to do it. Different kids react differently to different things. That said, if I used my child's apprehension as a barometer for whether we should do anything at all then they would grow up not doing much! Pushing them to try even if they are a bit scared and see there is nothing to be scared of IMO helps children get over unnecessary fears. But again if I had a kid who was terrified of this I would not do it.

I’m the runner. The strength of the reactions gave me pause for thought. So I asked my then-4yo now-14yo if she remembered how she had felt when I left them a few times to go for a run. She had no idea what just I was talking about. No recollection whatsoever. Probably because they had very little screen time and so were excited to watch TV together while I was out. They would barely look up when I got home. Or maybe because it was no more than a few times.

I’m sorry some of the posters were obviously scarred by their experiences of being left alone. I can certainly imagine being left with nobody else would be scary for a young child.

You are something, Lady. Of course, the 4 year old doesn’t remember. She had an older child watching over her. She didn’t bare the burden of having to do anything if something happened. At the age of 4, someone the age of 6 is tantamount to an adult. Now go and and ask the 6 year old who you left in charge his she feels about it….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least two of us have posted about how our parents left us home for 10-15 minutes while they took siblings to some activity or another and we've been completely ignored. Both I and the other PP posted about how scared we were, and she said she never told her mom how scared she was and I didn't either. My mom would say "I'm dropping X off for practice and will be back in 10 minutes. Stand here by the door and wait for me." and I remember standing by the door scared to death that someone would come knock on the door and I wouldn't know what to do, or the phone would ring and I would have to answer it, but I was too young to be able to express this fear to my mother. I can't imagine putting my 7 year old in that situation.

Shame on you all for thinking about "oh no, there wouldn't be an emergency" or "Oh but Larla is so independent she would be fine" and not actually really thinking about your children's feelings.

10/26 10:45 did not completely ignore you.

Some kids are better at expressing their fears or feelings than others. That's not a criticism of you as a kid, and I'm sorry that you were put in an uncomfortable position, truly. But just bc you were scared and felt you couldn't articulate that doesn't mean that's true for all 7yo.

DP but you are a complete idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t know if you’ll only be gone for 10-30 min. What if you get in a wreck? What if there is an emergency at home? We don’t have a landline (many people don’t now), and a 6 yo doesn’t have a cell phone. They’d have no way to even contact you or 911. Plus a 6 yo is not equipped to deal with an emergency, no matter how mature they seem. Just take the kid with you. Why not?

What is the alternative here? Having your child in the car with you while you are in the wreck?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t know if you’ll only be gone for 10-30 min. What if you get in a wreck? What if there is an emergency at home? We don’t have a landline (many people don’t now), and a 6 yo doesn’t have a cell phone. They’d have no way to even contact you or 911. Plus a 6 yo is not equipped to deal with an emergency, no matter how mature they seem. Just take the kid with you. Why not?

What is the alternative here? Having your child in the car with you while you are in the wreck?

Yes. You take your child with you at 6, when you leave your house. How is this even a discussion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids ages 6-14. Youngest is almost 7. As of now, we have never left her home alone. We have left her home with older siblings for short periods of time.

When oldest was 8, I started leaving him home when I drove younger sibling to sports close by. I would be back within 10-20 minutes. My middle child was not left home alone until he was 10. My youngest is very well behaved and rule follower. She has seen siblings stay home and now also wants to stay home while I drop off siblings at sports.

Not my 6-7 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t know if you’ll only be gone for 10-30 min. What if you get in a wreck? What if there is an emergency at home? We don’t have a landline (many people don’t now), and a 6 yo doesn’t have a cell phone. They’d have no way to even contact you or 911. Plus a 6 yo is not equipped to deal with an emergency, no matter how mature they seem. Just take the kid with you. Why not?

What is the alternative here? Having your child in the car with you while you are in the wreck?

Yes. You take your child with you at 6, when you leave your house. How is this even a discussion?

I think PP’s point is that the “proper” course of action (taking your 6-7 year old with you) is statistically more dangerous. Like from a purely statistical standpoint, your 6-7 year old is actually safer staying at home than accompanying you in the car for 20 minutes. The risk of the child being seriously injured in a car accident is much higher than the risk of them dying in a house fire / killed by an intruder / strangled by some blinds.

Obviously we don’t live our lives based on statistics but it is interesting to think that you are actually putting the kid “at greater risk” by taking them with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t know if you’ll only be gone for 10-30 min. What if you get in a wreck? What if there is an emergency at home? We don’t have a landline (many people don’t now), and a 6 yo doesn’t have a cell phone. They’d have no way to even contact you or 911. Plus a 6 yo is not equipped to deal with an emergency, no matter how mature they seem. Just take the kid with you. Why not?

What is the alternative here? Having your child in the car with you while you are in the wreck?

Yes. You take your child with you at 6, when you leave your house. How is this even a discussion?

I think PP’s point is that the “proper” course of action (taking your 6-7 year old with you) is statistically more dangerous. Like from a purely statistical standpoint, your 6-7 year old is actually safer staying at home than accompanying you in the car for 20 minutes. The risk of the child being seriously injured in a car accident is much higher than the risk of them dying in a house fire / killed by an intruder / strangled by some blinds.

Obviously we don’t live our lives based on statistics but it is interesting to think that you are actually putting the kid “at greater risk” by taking them with you.

Oh lordie, it’s not just about physical risk!!!

It’s psychologically and emotionally damaging to leave such a young child alone or worse responsible for even younger siblings.

Go back and reread some of the comments on here about how scared the one adult posters were to be left alone! How they didn’t say anything!

Notice how the very first comment to the runner mom said that her 4 year old would probably been fine, but that her six year old was probably scarred from her jogs. So what did runner mom do to alleviate her nonexistent guilt (ie confirm her extreme selfishness is acceptable)? She asked the 4 year old, not the 6 year old left in charge about it. Runner mom even went on to lecture the PPs about how she’s sorry they were afraid, but her kids weren’t.

I cannot believe how so many mothers don’t appreciate or factor in the emotional or psychological damages that their actions might cause. That’s just sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t know if you’ll only be gone for 10-30 min. What if you get in a wreck? What if there is an emergency at home? We don’t have a landline (many people don’t now), and a 6 yo doesn’t have a cell phone. They’d have no way to even contact you or 911. Plus a 6 yo is not equipped to deal with an emergency, no matter how mature they seem. Just take the kid with you. Why not?

What is the alternative here? Having your child in the car with you while you are in the wreck?

Yes. You take your child with you at 6, when you leave your house. How is this even a discussion?

I think PP’s point is that the “proper” course of action (taking your 6-7 year old with you) is statistically more dangerous. Like from a purely statistical standpoint, your 6-7 year old is actually safer staying at home than accompanying you in the car for 20 minutes. The risk of the child being seriously injured in a car accident is much higher than the risk of them dying in a house fire / killed by an intruder / strangled by some blinds.

Obviously we don’t live our lives based on statistics but it is interesting to think that you are actually putting the kid “at greater risk” by taking them with you.

Think about your child's mental health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t know if you’ll only be gone for 10-30 min. What if you get in a wreck? What if there is an emergency at home? We don’t have a landline (many people don’t now), and a 6 yo doesn’t have a cell phone. They’d have no way to even contact you or 911. Plus a 6 yo is not equipped to deal with an emergency, no matter how mature they seem. Just take the kid with you. Why not?

What is the alternative here? Having your child in the car with you while you are in the wreck?

Yes. You take your child with you at 6, when you leave your house. How is this even a discussion?

I think PP’s point is that the “proper” course of action (taking your 6-7 year old with you) is statistically more dangerous. Like from a purely statistical standpoint, your 6-7 year old is actually safer staying at home than accompanying you in the car for 20 minutes. The risk of the child being seriously injured in a car accident is much higher than the risk of them dying in a house fire / killed by an intruder / strangled by some blinds.

Obviously we don’t live our lives based on statistics but it is interesting to think that you are actually putting the kid “at greater risk” by taking them with you.

Oh lordie, it’s not just about physical risk!!!

It’s psychologically and emotionally damaging to leave such a young child alone or worse responsible for even younger siblings.

Go back and reread some of the comments on here about how scared the one adult posters were to be left alone! How they didn’t say anything!

Notice how the very first comment to the runner mom said that her 4 year old would probably been fine, but that her six year old was probably scarred from her jogs. So what did runner mom do to alleviate her nonexistent guilt (ie confirm her extreme selfishness is acceptable)? She asked the 4 year old, not the 6 year old left in charge about it. Runner mom even went on to lecture the PPs about how she’s sorry they were afraid, but her kids weren’t.

I cannot believe how so many mothers don’t appreciate or factor in the emotional or psychological damages that their actions might cause. That’s just sad.

My parents left me home overnights when I was 15 (maybe even earlier - I for sure wasn’t driving yet). As an adult, I am terrified when my husband travels for work. I usually have to down several glasses of wine and pass out, otherwise I won’t sleep / I wake up convinced someone is in the house. I’m just now putting together that this might have been “caused” by my parents leaving me home alone. Maybe I would’ve been like this anyways, but now that I’m thinking about it, some of it might be due to my parents. Ugh.

In the other hand, my bestie and I were home alone (but together) every day from 230-430 starting at age 7 and I have nothing but positive memories.

[Anonymous]

I like that there’s a law on this in Maryland because it takes the guesswork out of it. I think 8 is a good age.