Is anyone not saving to pay for all of their kids' college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We aren't intentionally not saving. Our HHI is 105k with two kids in childcare. Theres just not much to go around.

The contingent on the DCUM money forum have a lot of wealth and have no concept of what it is like to live like normal people. Many of them also have generational wealth with grandparents that helped them buy their house or pay for their kids private school tuition etc. Completely out of touch with most of the world. There are many, many people who cannot afford to save enough to completely cover college for their kids. College is so incredibly expensive now.

Cue some jacka** who will tell us how they make 100k a year and have a mortgage in this area and yet are maxed out for retirement and save huge amounts of money a month for college or some such BS.

At an income of $100k, a kid would probably be eligible for financial aid. The point of many of these posts is that kids from higher income families are screwed if their parents didn’t save because their parents families’ higher income keeps them from receiving financial aid.

Yes, parents who make more than ~$150K have screwed over their kids if they don't plan to help pay for college or haven't saved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents didn’t help me at all with college and it was very stressful. I worked a lot to keep my loan amounts down, but I still came out of school in debt.

And it has gotten so much more expensive.

This is precisely why I save for my kids college. If we can’t pay all their tuition and rent, we’ll help them pay off the loans. I want them to know they are supported.

My parents/grandparents paid mine (my parents are too stingy to help us, unlike my grandparents). We bought the cheapest house we could find, DIY and saved early on to do a prepaid and then save for room/board and in state graduate school. Kids know this and are fine with going to the state school. We started saving as soon as they were born.

Exactly! PP here - We will be realistic with our kids - but I don’t want them to be left holding the bag entirely.

Same. I have graduate school debt and it's awful to have. It's basically paying a second mortgage that lasts through the daycare years and affects your debt to income ratio when buying a house. Terrible to stick your children with that burden when you have the means to save.

Who paid for your undergraduate degree? Why didn't you get a TA or find another way to pay for graduate school? Your parents don't owe it to you to support you forever.

[Anonymous]

We are on track to have 100k for our child as of HS graduation. Our mortgage should be paid off at that point also so hoping we will be able to cover the balance out of pocket and/or with aid/merit awards. HHI 150k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We aren't intentionally not saving. Our HHI is 105k with two kids in childcare. Theres just not much to go around.

The contingent on the DCUM money forum have a lot of wealth and have no concept of what it is like to live like normal people. Many of them also have generational wealth with grandparents that helped them buy their house or pay for their kids private school tuition etc. Completely out of touch with most of the world. There are many, many people who cannot afford to save enough to completely cover college for their kids. College is so incredibly expensive now.

Cue some jacka** who will tell us how they make 100k a year and have a mortgage in this area and yet are maxed out for retirement and save huge amounts of money a month for college or some such BS.

At an income of $100k, a kid would probably be eligible for financial aid. The point of many of these posts is that kids from higher income families are screwed if their parents didn’t save because their parents families’ higher income keeps them from receiving financial aid.

the EFC at 100k is still crippling without college savings. Any public school would also expect loans to be maxed out before any aid which may mean no aid because tuition - loans would be more than the EFC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We aren't intentionally not saving. Our HHI is 105k with two kids in childcare. Theres just not much to go around.

The contingent on the DCUM money forum have a lot of wealth and have no concept of what it is like to live like normal people. Many of them also have generational wealth with grandparents that helped them buy their house or pay for their kids private school tuition etc. Completely out of touch with most of the world. There are many, many people who cannot afford to save enough to completely cover college for their kids. College is so incredibly expensive now.

Cue some jacka** who will tell us how they make 100k a year and have a mortgage in this area and yet are maxed out for retirement and save huge amounts of money a month for college or some such BS.

It’s a tough call. I have a rising senior who after this year will have a year of college under his belt. His dream is to go to UVA. He’s one track mind with it. He currently has a 4.4 and that probably won’t cut it for him to get into UVA as a white male. If he doesn’t get in he’s strongly considering NVCC for a year to finish his associates and leverage the guaranteed admissions.

I really struggle with this entire concept for him because he’s way better than that. He’s an excellent student and really bright. I hate to see him at NVCC for any amount of time. I hope he comes to his senses after this summer and visiting schools and gets excited about some other schools. However he’s a very goal oriented kid and once he wants something that’s what he goes for.

Why is he "way better than that"??!?!?! Smart kid who has set the goal of attending UVA, knows that it can be a crapshoot so plans to attend CC with a guaranteed path to UVA if he attains a certain GPA (I'm assuming that's the case from what you said) at CC and will follow this plan if he doesn't get direct admissions. WTH is wrong with that? He's set his goals and found a few paths to achieve it. Why wouldn't you be happy and excited for him? Ultimately, he would get a diploma from UVA? Same as if he attended UVA for 4 full years.

Because NVCC is an academic joke. It’s a means to an end, but a year of educational sacrifice to get into uva.

Sorry, but sorry.

I’m not not happy for him it excited or sad for him. You are really stretching with your hysterics.

Then help him find a 4 year colleges that’s are targets and safeties if you want him to go to “a better school” than CC. UVA nay ge the dream but have a reasonable backup, like normal people do if they want their kid to not get disappointed

I don’t need to rescue my 18yr old adult child from disappointment. He is a grown man and if he wants to go to NVCC for a year to get into his goal school than that’s his choice. I don’t micromanage his feelings and choices.

Yes NVCC is beneath him. Yes it is an academic joke, but my kid will be fun whichever path he takes. I’ll leave you to man the chopper. Just for the love of god calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We aren't intentionally not saving. Our HHI is 105k with two kids in childcare. Theres just not much to go around.

The contingent on the DCUM money forum have a lot of wealth and have no concept of what it is like to live like normal people. Many of them also have generational wealth with grandparents that helped them buy their house or pay for their kids private school tuition etc. Completely out of touch with most of the world. There are many, many people who cannot afford to save enough to completely cover college for their kids. College is so incredibly expensive now.

Cue some jacka** who will tell us how they make 100k a year and have a mortgage in this area and yet are maxed out for retirement and save huge amounts of money a month for college or some such BS.

It’s a tough call. I have a rising senior who after this year will have a year of college under his belt. His dream is to go to UVA. He’s one track mind with it. He currently has a 4.4 and that probably won’t cut it for him to get into UVA as a white male. If he doesn’t get in he’s strongly considering NVCC for a year to finish his associates and leverage the guaranteed admissions.

I really struggle with this entire concept for him because he’s way better than that. He’s an excellent student and really bright. I hate to see him at NVCC for any amount of time. I hope he comes to his senses after this summer and visiting schools and gets excited about some other schools. However he’s a very goal oriented kid and once he wants something that’s what he goes for.

Why is he "way better than that"??!?!?! Smart kid who has set the goal of attending UVA, knows that it can be a crapshoot so plans to attend CC with a guaranteed path to UVA if he attains a certain GPA (I'm assuming that's the case from what you said) at CC and will follow this plan if he doesn't get direct admissions. WTH is wrong with that? He's set his goals and found a few paths to achieve it. Why wouldn't you be happy and excited for him? Ultimately, he would get a diploma from UVA? Same as if he attended UVA for 4 full years.

Because NVCC is an academic joke. It’s a means to an end, but a year of educational sacrifice to get into uva.

Sorry, but sorry.

I’m not not happy for him it excited or sad for him. You are really stretching with your hysterics.

Then help him find a 4 year colleges that’s are targets and safeties if you want him to go to “a better school” than CC. UVA nay ge the dream but have a reasonable backup, like normal people do if they want their kid to not get disappointed

I don’t need to rescue my 18yr old adult child from disappointment. He is a grown man and if he wants to go to NVCC for a year to get into his goal school than that’s his choice. I don’t micromanage his feelings and choices.

Yes NVCC is beneath him. Yes it is an academic joke, but my kid will be fun whichever path he takes. I’ll leave you to man the chopper. Just for the love of god calm down.

My kid will be fine. Not fun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Same. I have graduate school debt and it's awful to have. It's basically paying a second mortgage that lasts through the daycare years and affects your debt to income ratio when buying a house. Terrible to stick your children with that burden when you have the means to save.

Sounds you may a bad investment to go to grad school for a degree that doesn't pay you enough to pay off your debt. You should have picked a better major in college to get you a good job, without having to go to grad school. That decision is on you, not your parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm targeting to pay 4 years of instate tuition for my 4 kids.
So, my goal is to pay $30k/year each.

Kids can get work hard to get merit or earn money if they want to go to a pricier private college.

120k for instate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm targeting to pay 4 years of instate tuition for my 4 kids.
So, my goal is to pay $30k/year each.

Kids can get work hard to get merit or earn money if they want to go to a pricier private college.

120k for instate?

That wouldn't cover UVA or W&M as a full pay student

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents didn’t help me at all with college and it was very stressful. I worked a lot to keep my loan amounts down, but I still came out of school in debt.

And it has gotten so much more expensive.

This is precisely why I save for my kids college. If we can’t pay all their tuition and rent, we’ll help them pay off the loans. I want them to know they are supported.

My parents/grandparents paid mine (my parents are too stingy to help us, unlike my grandparents). We bought the cheapest house we could find, DIY and saved early on to do a prepaid and then save for room/board and in state graduate school. Kids know this and are fine with going to the state school. We started saving as soon as they were born.

Exactly! PP here - We will be realistic with our kids - but I don’t want them to be left holding the bag entirely.

Same. I have graduate school debt and it's awful to have. It's basically paying a second mortgage that lasts through the daycare years and affects your debt to income ratio when buying a house. Terrible to stick your children with that burden when you have the means to save.

Who paid for your undergraduate degree? Why didn't you get a TA or find another way to pay for graduate school? Your parents don't owe it to you to support you forever.

I agree nobody should expect their parents to pay for graduate school. Most grad programs, except MBA and medical programs are typically well subsidized for most PHD programs. So you search until you find one that will pay you to go.
And if you are medical or MBA, then you should plan accordingly for the costs associated with it. Many companies will help fund MBAs.

I do agree if you have the means to save, you should save for your kid's undergraduate degree---it's cruel not to if you can afford to. But grad school, unless you are wealthy, a 22yo should know enough not to take on debt they can't easily pay back (heck an 18yo should know that too IMO if they are heading to college)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We aren't intentionally not saving. Our HHI is 105k with two kids in childcare. Theres just not much to go around.

The contingent on the DCUM money forum have a lot of wealth and have no concept of what it is like to live like normal people. Many of them also have generational wealth with grandparents that helped them buy their house or pay for their kids private school tuition etc. Completely out of touch with most of the world. There are many, many people who cannot afford to save enough to completely cover college for their kids. College is so incredibly expensive now.

Cue some jacka** who will tell us how they make 100k a year and have a mortgage in this area and yet are maxed out for retirement and save huge amounts of money a month for college or some such BS.

It’s a tough call. I have a rising senior who after this year will have a year of college under his belt. His dream is to go to UVA. He’s one track mind with it. He currently has a 4.4 and that probably won’t cut it for him to get into UVA as a white male. If he doesn’t get in he’s strongly considering NVCC for a year to finish his associates and leverage the guaranteed admissions.

I really struggle with this entire concept for him because he’s way better than that. He’s an excellent student and really bright. I hate to see him at NVCC for any amount of time. I hope he comes to his senses after this summer and visiting schools and gets excited about some other schools. However he’s a very goal oriented kid and once he wants something that’s what he goes for.

Why is he "way better than that"??!?!?! Smart kid who has set the goal of attending UVA, knows that it can be a crapshoot so plans to attend CC with a guaranteed path to UVA if he attains a certain GPA (I'm assuming that's the case from what you said) at CC and will follow this plan if he doesn't get direct admissions. WTH is wrong with that? He's set his goals and found a few paths to achieve it. Why wouldn't you be happy and excited for him? Ultimately, he would get a diploma from UVA? Same as if he attended UVA for 4 full years.

Because NVCC is an academic joke. It’s a means to an end, but a year of educational sacrifice to get into uva.

Sorry, but sorry.

I’m not not happy for him it excited or sad for him. You are really stretching with your hysterics.

Then help him find a 4 year colleges that’s are targets and safeties if you want him to go to “a better school” than CC. UVA nay ge the dream but have a reasonable backup, like normal people do if they want their kid to not get disappointed

I don’t need to rescue my 18yr old adult child from disappointment. He is a grown man and if he wants to go to NVCC for a year to get into his goal school than that’s his choice. I don’t micromanage his feelings and choices.

Yes NVCC is beneath him. Yes it is an academic joke, but my kid will be fun whichever path he takes. I’ll leave you to man the chopper. Just for the love of god calm down.

Hope you don't portray your "disappointment" with your kid to your kid. Describing where they plan to attend college for 1-2 years as "an academic joke" and that "they can do better than that" is not how most healthy people discuss their kids.

I do not man a chopper---my kids have both found the perfect fit for them schools. They also had several backups lined up (that they found and chose to apply to) that they would have been happy to attend if admission had not been granted to their other choices. But I've watched far too many kids be extremely disappointed in March/April as they did not have a good list of colleges (just read DCUM). And then feel like you are describing when it doesn't have to be that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We aren't intentionally not saving. Our HHI is 105k with two kids in childcare. Theres just not much to go around.

The contingent on the DCUM money forum have a lot of wealth and have no concept of what it is like to live like normal people. Many of them also have generational wealth with grandparents that helped them buy their house or pay for their kids private school tuition etc. Completely out of touch with most of the world. There are many, many people who cannot afford to save enough to completely cover college for their kids. College is so incredibly expensive now.

Cue some jacka** who will tell us how they make 100k a year and have a mortgage in this area and yet are maxed out for retirement and save huge amounts of money a month for college or some such BS.

It’s a tough call. I have a rising senior who after this year will have a year of college under his belt. His dream is to go to UVA. He’s one track mind with it. He currently has a 4.4 and that probably won’t cut it for him to get into UVA as a white male. If he doesn’t get in he’s strongly considering NVCC for a year to finish his associates and leverage the guaranteed admissions.

I really struggle with this entire concept for him because he’s way better than that. He’s an excellent student and really bright. I hate to see him at NVCC for any amount of time. I hope he comes to his senses after this summer and visiting schools and gets excited about some other schools. However he’s a very goal oriented kid and once he wants something that’s what he goes for.

Why is he "way better than that"??!?!?! Smart kid who has set the goal of attending UVA, knows that it can be a crapshoot so plans to attend CC with a guaranteed path to UVA if he attains a certain GPA (I'm assuming that's the case from what you said) at CC and will follow this plan if he doesn't get direct admissions. WTH is wrong with that? He's set his goals and found a few paths to achieve it. Why wouldn't you be happy and excited for him? Ultimately, he would get a diploma from UVA? Same as if he attended UVA for 4 full years.

Because NVCC is an academic joke. It’s a means to an end, but a year of educational sacrifice to get into uva.

Sorry, but sorry.

I’m not not happy for him it excited or sad for him. You are really stretching with your hysterics.

Then help him find a 4 year colleges that’s are targets and safeties if you want him to go to “a better school” than CC. UVA nay ge the dream but have a reasonable backup, like normal people do if they want their kid to not get disappointed

I don’t need to rescue my 18yr old adult child from disappointment. He is a grown man and if he wants to go to NVCC for a year to get into his goal school than that’s his choice. I don’t micromanage his feelings and choices.

Yes NVCC is beneath him. Yes it is an academic joke, but my kid will be fun whichever path he takes. I’ll leave you to man the chopper. Just for the love of god calm down.

Hope you don't portray your "disappointment" with your kid to your kid. Describing where they plan to attend college for 1-2 years as "an academic joke" and that "they can do better than that" is not how most healthy people discuss their kids.

I do not man a chopper---my kids have both found the perfect fit for them schools. They also had several backups lined up (that they found and chose to apply to) that they would have been happy to attend if admission had not been granted to their other choices. But I've watched far too many kids be extremely disappointed in March/April as they did not have a good list of colleges (just read DCUM). And then feel like you are describing when it doesn't have to be that way.

If the kid is choosing NVCC for financial reasons, and has parents who could have afforded college if they had saved, then they have every right to be disappointed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We aren't intentionally not saving. Our HHI is 105k with two kids in childcare. Theres just not much to go around.

The contingent on the DCUM money forum have a lot of wealth and have no concept of what it is like to live like normal people. Many of them also have generational wealth with grandparents that helped them buy their house or pay for their kids private school tuition etc. Completely out of touch with most of the world. There are many, many people who cannot afford to save enough to completely cover college for their kids. College is so incredibly expensive now.

Cue some jacka** who will tell us how they make 100k a year and have a mortgage in this area and yet are maxed out for retirement and save huge amounts of money a month for college or some such BS.

At an income of $100k, a kid would probably be eligible for financial aid. The point of many of these posts is that kids from higher income families are screwed if their parents didn’t save because their parents families’ higher income keeps them from receiving financial aid.

the EFC at 100k is still crippling without college savings. Any public school would also expect loans to be maxed out before any aid which may mean no aid because tuition - loans would be more than the EFC.

At $100k, you would likely get some financial aid, even if your cost wouldn’t be zero. In state tuition at the state flagship in our state is $30,000 a year, and average cost is $24k after financial/merit aid (merit aid is pretty freely offered). States like Georgia and Florida are even more generous with merit aid for in state students, including full tuition waivers. Even if you were not eligible for any financial aid, the parents made zero contribution, and you borrowed the entire amount, $100,000-120,000 is not a ridiculous amount to borrow for a college education (although at $100k income, it’s likely to be lower).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We aren't intentionally not saving. Our HHI is 105k with two kids in childcare. Theres just not much to go around.

The contingent on the DCUM money forum have a lot of wealth and have no concept of what it is like to live like normal people. Many of them also have generational wealth with grandparents that helped them buy their house or pay for their kids private school tuition etc. Completely out of touch with most of the world. There are many, many people who cannot afford to save enough to completely cover college for their kids. College is so incredibly expensive now.

Cue some jacka** who will tell us how they make 100k a year and have a mortgage in this area and yet are maxed out for retirement and save huge amounts of money a month for college or some such BS.

It’s a tough call. I have a rising senior who after this year will have a year of college under his belt. His dream is to go to UVA. He’s one track mind with it. He currently has a 4.4 and that probably won’t cut it for him to get into UVA as a white male. If he doesn’t get in he’s strongly considering NVCC for a year to finish his associates and leverage the guaranteed admissions.

I really struggle with this entire concept for him because he’s way better than that. He’s an excellent student and really bright. I hate to see him at NVCC for any amount of time. I hope he comes to his senses after this summer and visiting schools and gets excited about some other schools. However he’s a very goal oriented kid and once he wants something that’s what he goes for.

Why is he "way better than that"??!?!?! Smart kid who has set the goal of attending UVA, knows that it can be a crapshoot so plans to attend CC with a guaranteed path to UVA if he attains a certain GPA (I'm assuming that's the case from what you said) at CC and will follow this plan if he doesn't get direct admissions. WTH is wrong with that? He's set his goals and found a few paths to achieve it. Why wouldn't you be happy and excited for him? Ultimately, he would get a diploma from UVA? Same as if he attended UVA for 4 full years.

Because NVCC is an academic joke. It’s a means to an end, but a year of educational sacrifice to get into uva.

Sorry, but sorry.

I’m not not happy for him it excited or sad for him. You are really stretching with your hysterics.

Then help him find a 4 year colleges that’s are targets and safeties if you want him to go to “a better school” than CC. UVA nay ge the dream but have a reasonable backup, like normal people do if they want their kid to not get disappointed

I don’t need to rescue my 18yr old adult child from disappointment. He is a grown man and if he wants to go to NVCC for a year to get into his goal school than that’s his choice. I don’t micromanage his feelings and choices.

Yes NVCC is beneath him. Yes it is an academic joke, but my kid will be fun whichever path he takes. I’ll leave you to man the chopper. Just for the love of god calm down.

Hope you don't portray your "disappointment" with your kid to your kid. Describing where they plan to attend college for 1-2 years as "an academic joke" and that "they can do better than that" is not how most healthy people discuss their kids.

I do not man a chopper---my kids have both found the perfect fit for them schools. They also had several backups lined up (that they found and chose to apply to) that they would have been happy to attend if admission had not been granted to their other choices. But I've watched far too many kids be extremely disappointed in March/April as they did not have a good list of colleges (just read DCUM). And then feel like you are describing when it doesn't have to be that way.

If the kid is choosing NVCC for financial reasons, and has parents who could have afforded college if they had saved, then they have every right to be disappointed

This was in response to the Parent expressing disappointment that their kid would spend another year at NVCC and that their kid "could do better"

I do agree, the kid can express disappointment if the parents had the resources to save and chose to spend it elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

That's when the kids go to CC for two years and then transfer to a four year school and get student aid. And work park time and have student loans.

And, you plan not to go to grad school unless you get the rare TA or financial support.