Father working through daughter getting married

[Anonymous]

She is an only child and we have always been very close. I know kids grow up, but it is difficult for me to cope with instead of my little girl (even though she is late 20s), she will now be someone's wife. Her fiance is a good person, and maybe I am concerned we will drift apart, but any strategies to deal with this?

[Anonymous]

Get hobbies and friends.

You will drift apart,

Don’t be an obligation.

[Anonymous]

Schedule a lunch with her once a month, or a FaceTime just the two of you if you live far apart, so you can maintain a relationship.

[Anonymous]

If you were a successful father, she will drift.

If you failed, she will not.

Keep us posted on how this works out.

[Anonymous]

This is sweet. I actually thought this thread was literally going to be about a father who was going to a work function instead of the wedding, lol.

[Anonymous]

This reads like a troll post, honestly. If you were a mom, we'd tell you to cut the apron strings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is an only child and we have always been very close. I know kids grow up, but it is difficult for me to cope with instead of my little girl (even though she is late 20s), she will now be someone's wife. Her fiance is a good person, and maybe I am concerned we will drift apart, but any strategies to deal with this?

OP, I know what you mean and here's how I look at it.

There are two options. One, she finds a great person to marry, she does so, has kids and has a great life. The second, she never does.

The third choice that you would prefer, but is not an option, is that things stay just the way they are now or, even better, go back to the days when she really was your little girl. Neither of those will happen.

So, pick from the real options.

You've done well, and so has she.

[Anonymous]

Oh for chrissake OP get a hold of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Have you watched Steve Martin in Father of the Bride?

[Anonymous]

She's not a little girl and hasn't been for some time.

She will ALWAYS be YOUR girl, and being single vs married has nothing to do with it. The implication that it does is kind of gross IMO.

Signed,
mom of a late-20s DS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If you were a successful father, she will drift.

If you failed, she will not.

Keep us posted on how this works out.

NP
That really resonates with me. I guess families have different desires for their relationships but I want my kid out in the world blooming without me. That doesn't mean I won't help them or take them in if there is a setback but I do hope that doesn't happen for too long when they are done with schooling. I would love to see them far off, independent and successful. I won't feel like a failure if that doesn't happen since life is unpredictable but it's my dream.

[Anonymous]

Having kids of my own resulted in me chatting with my parents more.

[Anonymous]

My dad and I have always been extremely close. I am married with my own kid who considers my dad a celebrity.

He would tell you to always be respectful of her marriage (include both in generous gifts, engage on DIY or paid work on the house only with her spouses concurrence) and if you can to befriend her husband.

The result will be an adult relationship with your kid and maybe eventual grandchild which— according to my dad— is like the trophy for all the work you put into being a parent these last 20+ years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you watched Steve Martin in Father of the Bride?

Fun movie, as is the original. Also Father’s Little Dividend and the Steve Martin version Father of the Bride II.

[Anonymous]

Im an only child.
Find things to consume your time