Asocial teenager -WWYD?

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old daughter avoids interacting with guests whenever they come over.

Should I be seeking an evaluation? She has freinds at school and other activities.
(Not sure why my other post was deleted, I am not a troll.)

[Anonymous]

Like, your guests?

That is 100% normal and does not make her asocial.

[Anonymous]

I think the teens used to be forced to at least appear and politely greet the guests, maybe exchange some small talk. Now it is not enforced (I am guilty of it too, and I don’t have guests over often) they are back to their real selves

[Anonymous]

Today is my younger daughters birthday, and the guests which include all of her cousins are here, and she refuses to leave her bedroom to interact with anybody. These people are people who she had known since forever, and she had no issues with any of them. A few months ago, she did the same exact thing. She stayed in her bedroom, and told me to tell them that she wasn’t home. They found out she was anyway, and wanted to talk to her and she refused to get out of the bedroom to speak to anyone. She does this with freinds, family members, guests, everyone. She used to be a little shy, but warmed to guests anyways, but now she totally avoids them all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today is my younger daughters birthday, and the guests which include all of her cousins are here, and she refuses to leave her bedroom to interact with anybody. These people are people who she had known since forever, and she had no issues with any of them. A few months ago, she did the same exact thing. She stayed in her bedroom, and told me to tell them that she wasn’t home. They found out she was anyway, and wanted to talk to her and she refused to get out of the bedroom to speak to anyone. She does this with freinds, family members, guests, everyone. She used to be a little shy, but warmed to guests anyways, but now she totally avoids them all.

That's very weird, but did she know about and agree to having a family gathering for her birthday? I could see drawing a line in the sand if she had intended to do her own thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today is my younger daughters birthday, and the guests which include all of her cousins are here, and she refuses to leave her bedroom to interact with anybody. These people are people who she had known since forever, and she had no issues with any of them. A few months ago, she did the same exact thing. She stayed in her bedroom, and told me to tell them that she wasn’t home. They found out she was anyway, and wanted to talk to her and she refused to get out of the bedroom to speak to anyone. She does this with freinds, family members, guests, everyone. She used to be a little shy, but warmed to guests anyways, but now she totally avoids them all.

Are you the OP?

Did she ask for the party? Not everyone wants a party. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with her. My son would be livid if I did this. I'd ask him to come say hi or eat with my guests, and he would even though it's not his favorite thing by any means, but if I invited people over for/with him and asked him to pretend he loves it...nope.

[Anonymous]

Op. Todays her younger sisters birthday party, not hers.

[Anonymous]

Either she is anxious to the point where she needs help, or she is sick of her younger sister and her friends and doesn’t want anything to do with them

[Anonymous]

Some people don't like large groups and are overstimulated by it. Its ok.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't get to refuse. I'd tell her she has three seconds to get out of her room and mingle and help, or her bedroom door is being taken off the hinges. Being rude is not allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't get to refuse. I'd tell her she has three seconds to get out of her room and mingle and help, or her bedroom door is being taken off the hinges. Being rude is not allowed.

+1

Who lets there teen hole up in their room for the entirety of a family party? You come out, make an appearance, make some small talk, eat the meal, and then you can go sulk. Come back down for goodbyes.

This isn’t asocial - this is bad parenting and rudeness. Most teens aren’t super psyched to hang out with Aunt Phyllis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't get to refuse. I'd tell her she has three seconds to get out of her room and mingle and help, or her bedroom door is being taken off the hinges. Being rude is not allowed.

This. You don’t know if she can’t or won’t until you force the issue. She needs to come down, say hello, hang out on the fringes for an hour. She won’t get better at socializing alone in her room on her phone.

- introvert

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't get to refuse. I'd tell her she has three seconds to get out of her room and mingle and help, or her bedroom door is being taken off the hinges. Being rude is not allowed.

Abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't get to refuse. I'd tell her she has three seconds to get out of her room and mingle and help, or her bedroom door is being taken off the hinges. Being rude is not allowed.

+1

Who lets there teen hole up in their room for the entirety of a family party? You come out, make an appearance, make some small talk, eat the meal, and then you can go sulk. Come back down for goodbyes.

This isn’t asocial - this is bad parenting and rudeness. Most teens aren’t super psyched to hang out with Aunt Phyllis.

I would, especially with my family. But, I'd try to hide with them, too.

[Anonymous]

How long has she been acting like this? Do you talk to her about her behavior? Can she offer any insight? I wouldn’t let her get away with an “I don’t know” kind of answer. It’s either major anxiety (she needs a professional) or a spoiled young lady. We can’t figure this out from a few parties.