TTC #2 after miscarriage

[Anonymous]

Hi all --

Hope you can share some collective wisdom. My DS is 2yrs 9 months, and was conceived first month trying. We started trying in January and luckily got pregnant in Feb. I found out two months later that the fetus didn't grow past 6 weeks. I miscarried at home (given drugs to get it going) and got a my period again in May and then 2 weeks later in June. We've been actively trying since then, using OPK's in July and August (both indicating I was ovulating, but when I took progesterone-21 day tests, my OBGYN said I didn't ovulate). I've suffered a lot of anxiety and so in October, decided to see an acupuncturist. My anxiety is down considerably with treatments (but still is high!) and yet, no luck on the TTC front. I know I need to be patient, but I was hoping to have my children closer in age and I feel like every month that passes without success is another month between my children's ages. Plus, all our friends who have kids DS's age are now getting pregnant or having babies!

I keep looking for a magic solution -- pre-seed, evening primrose oil to help with EWCF (but it made me ovulate later) or red raspberry leaf tea to build up uterine lining (my periods have been very light since miscarriage). I know there isn't a magic solution, but am I missing something? Should I begin BBT temping? I don't know if I'll be able to do it consistently with DS waking up in the middle of the night/waking me up too early, etc. If this sounds familiar to anyone else and something helped you, please advise.

I did go to a RE just for due diligence. He did ultrasound and said everything looks normal. Now we're moving to blood tests just to check it all.

I think I'm especially frustrated because I had no idea it would be this hard to conceive after being considerably lucky the first two times around (with the conceiving part). I turn 35 next month and am very worried about declining fertility.

Thanks for any help/advice.

[Anonymous]

i don't have anything to add but commiseration but our stories are so similar i had to say something! I conceived first child on second month of trying; conceived second pregnancy on first month of trying but lost that baby at 6 weeks when first was 2 years, 9 months; took forever for #2 and i felt the months/years growing between my child and hoped-for child. i guess it goes to show there are others out there...

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your post. In the end did you have a 2nd child? How do you feel about the age gap now?

[Anonymous]

OP I know how you feel... we started trying for #2 when dd was 15mos (we got pg first try with her).
Got pg easily the second time, but mc. And mc a second time... and a third.... best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Hi again,
17:06 here. I now am pregnant with #2 (IVF pregnancy -- I had a complicated situation so hopefully you won't have to take that route and our similarities will end there!), so I have yet to see how the gap will work. That said, I saw on the Berkeley parents' site number of posts about how 4 years is the ideal gap in age. I don't know if that's true, but I do know that I did everything I could to make it less time and our children will likely find the good- or the bad- in the gap regardless of what we had wanted to do to control it.
Good luck.
Kira

[Anonymous]

I actually had a hard time with Whitney's manner -brusque. Did anyone else find her intimidating?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I don't know who Whitney is -- can someone enlighten me? This is the first time I've ever posted here.

Anyone else have advice on what to do/what not to do? I can't decide if I should just "relax and let it happen" or seek out more treatment or monitoring or herbal remedies, etc.

[Anonymous]

I also conceived both #1 and 2 on the first try but #2 ended in miscarriage. After that it took a while for my cycle to return to normal but after 5 months I became pregnant again but there was a trisomy (I'm 40) and we decided to terminate the pregnancy.

It is incredibly frustrating and heartbreaking to go through all of this and wonder if I will have another. So far all of my testing has been normal in spite of my age.

I think you are doing the right thing by seeing an RE. once you complete the testing you will have a better idea of if there is a problem that needs to be addressed or if it will be a matter of time. Even if there is no issue the RE may be able to help the process along with fertility drugs.

I keep reminding myself that even couples with no fertility issues only have a 25% chance of getting pregnant each cycle so it will take time - we were just lucky the first time around.

[Anonymous]

I'm yet another one with a similar story -- I conceived #1 on our first month of trying at 33. Conceived another in April of this year at 35, second month trying, and had to have a D&C in June for a missed miscarriage. After that I started temping and charting and it seems to me that my luteal phase is a little short -- but who knows if it's always been like that?? It took a long time to start ovulating after my D& C (like you, I had what appeared to be periods but were just non-ovulatory breakthrough bleeding for two months), and I've had two cycles now with really well-timed sex and still nothing.

I went to see an RE (who thinks I'm crazy, I'm sure -- she keeps saying, "you are NOT infertile...") but I am having my current cycle monitored -- they did bloodwork on CD 3 and soon I will go in to confirm a good ovulation and progesterone levels, etc. I feel great about doing this despite the cost because I think it will go a long way towards restoring my peace of mind -- I know it can take a few months to get pregnant even when everything is perfect, but I have this nagging feeling like something is off with me. If the tests are all good but I'm still not pregnant, I assume the next step will be a sperm analysis for DH in a few months (although I'm sure he's fine given our history) and then taking it from there.

I too have a lot of friends who are pregnant, which is rough.

Hang in there -- I'm glad you're seeing an RE, hopefully that will help you feel better about what's going on as it is for me. Also, you asked about temping - I do think it is helpful and if you are a Type A person (like I am) it does help in terms of feeling like you're doing something concrete to help. An d it can shed light on whether or not you really are ovulating and such. I have found that OPKs are not super reliable (I think First Response in particular identifies my surge too late) and so you can keep on having sex until you have truly confirmed ovulation with temperatures. Also learning how to identify your cervical mucus is helpful too, so that you know when to start getting serious about sex!! Good luck. I recommend the Fertility Friend website -- it's free.

[Anonymous]

OP again -- you guys are the best -- thanks for sharing your stories and ideas!

9:19, what does it mean to monitor a cycle? I'm going in for bloodwork today (it's my cycle day 2). Is it too late for me to have them monitor my cycle? My RE says the same thing as yours does -- that I'm most likely fertile and past events predict future success, etc. -- but after a few months of just waiting and well-timed sex, I'd like to do more as the clock is ticking...

[Anonymous]

Hi, 9:19 here.

So when I went in to see an RE. She basically said I'm fertile and to give it more time but then called me half an hour after I left and said that she did want to offer to monitor a cycle if I wanted to.

I did not get pregnant that cycle and my luteal phase was the shortest it's been since my miscarriage, so I decided to go ahead and do it. This is at Dominion Fertility.

I did blood work and an u/s on Day 3, then tomorrow (Day 8) I go in again and they begin looking for ovulation. My understanding is that this monitoring will tell me exactly when ovualtion occurs, will check progesterone levels 7 days past ovulation, and so will be able to tel lme if I do have a progesterone deficiency, if my ovulation is strong enough, etc.

[Anonymous]

Thanks 9:19 -- my RE is at DF, too (Dr. Gordon). Will call them today to see if this is possible for me. I don't want to jump the gun, but also don't want to look back and regret not doing everything I can...

Does your insurance cover the monitoring?

What day is tomorrow? It came as Day and then smiley face...

[Anonymous]

Hi 9:07 poster here. I also wanted to answer your question about whether you should track your temps. I think that is really helpful in addition to OKPs to show that you are ovulating. I find it hard to do this consistently but I really try to do it a couple of days before and then after I think I should ovulate. This is much easier than doing it everyday for a month.

You mentioned that you went to see a acupuncturist. Did you see someone who specializes in fertility? I also tried this and found that helped immensely for the anxeity and also made my periods much heavier (which I took as a good sign). I went to Lisa Eaves in Tenelytown - she was wonderful for teaching me patience. Personally I am going to use supplements as a last resort (except for the prenatals). Finally if you haven't already read "Taking Charge of your Fertility" you should pick up a copy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks 9:19 -- my RE is at DF, too (Dr. Gordon). Will call them today to see if this is possible for me. I don't want to jump the gun, but also don't want to look back and regret not doing everything I can...

Does your insurance cover the monitoring?

What day is tomorrow? It came as Day and then smiley face...

I'm seeing Dr. Reh. She seems good but as I've said I think she thinks I'm nuts.

Basically what they told me is that if insurance won't cover it the total cost for the month is $925. Tomorrow is Day Eight for me.

[Anonymous]

Thanks 9:07 -- all good ideas. Also good to know that it's okay if you miss a day or two on temp tracking. Today, DS crawled into bed at 5:30, way earlier than wake up time would be. When you say supplements, do you mean all the herbal stuff? I kind of regret using the Evening Primrose Oil now (recommended by my acupuncturist) because I think it made me ovulate 2 days later than expected.

Yes - read TCOYF....it's very helpful, but honestly, I think I have a regular 28 day cycle, ovulate on day 14, etc...it's just that something doesn't seem to be working right...I think it might be low progesterone, but since acupuncture a lot of those symptoms have been getting better (heavier period, although nothing like before I had my son and less anxiety all around).

I don't have an acupuncturist that specializes in just fertility, but it seems like she does a lot of work in it (she's at the Teal Center). I like her a lot and don't really want to switch unless it's absolutely necessary.