Wedding fund
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| My 26-year-old daughter has moved out and is living on her own. She doesn’t seem interested in getting married or having children, even though we’ve saved money for a future wedding. I’m wondering whether I should talk to her about it or simply respect her choices and let her live her life |
Anonymous
| She's still young enough to think about that, but if you can talk to her in a non-judgmental way, you should. Like "we saved this money for your wedding because that's what our parents did but we realize this may be an old-fashioned way of thinking and kids your age get married later or not at all, and this money may be more useful to you for a down payment or graduate school, but understand that if you take it now, we won't be able to help with a future wedding." |
Anonymous
| Honestly I’d give it to her now, or in the next few years, to do whatever she wants with it (but just explain if she does get married she has to pay for it herself). Or if you want, just keep it for your own rainy day. Either way don’t talk to her about when is she getting married. |
Anonymous
No need. You can keep funds for your old age and if not spent, leave in will for her. If you don’t need those, give it to her on her 30th Birthday or when she buys a house or enrolls into a masters program. |
Anonymous
| 26 is really young these days for a college-educated woman to get married. Why not wait until 30 or 35 and then give it as a down payment when she's ready to buy a home? |
Anonymous
totally wrong and dangerous, this is when you should be married and having children |
Anonymous
| Not OP but question - how much is everyone saving for a wedding fund? We are normal class people, not rich. |
Anonymous
| She's 26. Let the fund grow. If she's not married by 40, just give it to her to use for whatever other purpose she wants. Right now though, it's for you because like many parents, you want to contribute to a wedding if she has one, so it's your money to fulfill your desire to help with a wedding. |
Anonymous
| Is the fund invested? Because my parents totally would have had it in a savings account or CD, while I would have put it into an index fund. Would be a shame to waste a decade of growth if it's something like that. |
Anonymous
| My parents gave me mine at 22 and I used it for a down payment (it was 2008 and there was a great foreclosure I got). |
Anonymous
| If she's renting I would tell her you have money set aside for her wedding but if she'd rather use it for a down payment she can have it now. Even if she gets married she may prefer to use the money for a house instead. |
Anonymous
|
She's far too young for you to stress her out by expressing that she should be interested in marriage. Her own clock may or may not be ticking, but you will stress her out by talking about it.
If she it's 35, and still hasn't dated, or, if she reaches out expressing interest in purchasing a home on her own, by all means mention you have money set aside for a wedding but if she'd rather use the funds as a down-payment, you are happy to oblige |
Anonymous
We are not rich by DCUM standards but we feel rich. We paid for instate school for one kid amd the other received a scholarship to an out of state school so our costs were similar. We've earmarked $50k for weddings for each kid. If they'd rather elope and use it for a down-payment, that's fine with us. If they want to have a big party, or a small wedding, that's also fine with us. Their life, their wedding or house or whatever. |
Anonymous
| We have a wedding fund for DC. They can use it by 32 for a home if they prefer. We set this up when they were in ES so open to changes as we move through college ages. |
Anonymous
| Just sit on it until she’s unmarried at 40 and then give it to her. Or, just drop it into your retirement account. |