Telling boss - need advice

[Anonymous]

So I have to tell my boss that my husband and I are undergoing infertility treatment b/c I am missing work for so many appointments. I have NO idea how to do this and I don't want to do it. My boss is a 65 year old man who shuns emotional displays of any kind. Any ideas on wording?

[Anonymous]

Just tell him matter of factly that you will be undergoing fertility treatment and give the approximate timeline. Let him know that the clinic offers very early appointments (if SG they do) and that you will do your best to schedule appointments that conflict the least amount with your work schedule. Also give him a heads up that due to the nature of the procedures and process that there will be a small window of time in which timing of appointments will be up in the air until the last minute but stress that this is a small window of time within the overall process.

Tell him that you appreciate the company's support.

[Anonymous]

Another strategy is to just tell your boss that you're having some medical issues that will require lots of doctor's appointments, some of which you can't necessarily plan ahead. You can maybe tell him that you're not ready to discuss details, but that he can be rest assured you will do your best to make sure that you're still on top of things at work. I don't think you necessarily need to tell your boss that you're getting treatment for infertility.

I struggled with this at my workplace. I told one boss the whole truth because she is very understanding and family friendly, but I just gave the generic "medical issues" story to another boss who is male and not necessarily the most understanding. Some people will jump ahead to thinking about the maternity leave you will take if you get pregnant and that might factor into the responsibilities they give you.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for medical issues. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I am going to try the medical issues approach, but I know he's going to ask for specifics. He is a caring boss and very understanding. I just haven't told most people about this, so it's hard. But I'll try the medical issues approach and see if he lets it stand. I am a little afraid thought that he will think I am pregnant already.

[Anonymous]

If you say "medical issues" and he pushes you for details, he can't then reasonably be upset at you for sharing the details. (Not to say he won't react weirdly, but at least you will know you handled it in a professional way.)