No graduation gift from parents?

[Anonymous]

My daughter's close friend recently graduated, and something happened that has bothered her. Her parents had talked as though there would be a graduation gift, and in their family it seems to be the expectation—they've given gifts to nieces, nephews, and other relatives for graduations and milestones. But as of now, she hasn't received anything from her own parents.

She’s not sure what happened. Maybe they forgot, maybe they're planning to give her something later, and I certainly don't know the full story. But it made me sad for her.

She did receive gifts from grandparents, aunts, and uncles, and others, so it's not that she wasn't celebrated at all. What seemed to hurt was that she watched other kids receive gifts and recognition from their parents and she got nothing from hers. She tried not to make a big deal out of it and didn’t speak to them, because she didn't want to come across as ungrateful, but she ended up crying and was clearly very hurt.

She's such a sweet, easygoing girl and never asks for much. Honestly, she wonders if kids like that get overlooked because everyone assumes they're fine. She seemed to feel that maybe that was what happened here.

To her, it seems it doesn’t seem really about the gift itself. It's more about the acknowledgment and thought behind it. Graduation is a big milestone, and I hated seeing her so upset.

Am I overreacting? Would this make you feel sad for her too, or am I reading too much into it when I don't know the whole situation?

[Anonymous]

Are you the troll who also posted about your niece getting her phone yanked out of her hands by her mother?

We did not give anything to our graduate apart from a brand new Macbook Air for college (he was using the school chromebook), all the stuff for his dorm, and COLLEGE TUITION AND ROOM AND BOARD. 65K every year.

No graduate should be expecting gifts on top of college stuff from their own parents! College IS the gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you the troll who also posted about your niece getting her phone yanked out of her hands by her mother?

We did not give anything to our graduate apart from a brand new Macbook Air for college (he was using the school chromebook), all the stuff for his dorm, and COLLEGE TUITION AND ROOM AND BOARD. 65K every year.

No graduate should be expecting gifts on top of college stuff from their own parents! College IS the gift.

+1

Not to mention the parents supported her throughout her schooling. This milestone is just as big for them.
What gifts did she give them in gratitude?

[Anonymous]

Did they give her a graduation party?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are overreacting. This is absolutely none of your business, teen girls cry over everything, and a gift for graduating high school is completely unnecessary.

You are also only hearing one side of the story. (But seriously, stay out of it)

[Anonymous]

This would bother me too. There should at least be a conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would bother me too. There should at least be a conversation.

And who is paying for college, PP?

If the kid is paying for college with money magically appearing from other sources than parental money, then sure, the parents can give their graduate a nice gift.

But otherwise NO.

[Anonymous]

Just be glad your parents supported you for all your school years, and are also paying for college.

Stop posting on DCUM. You're not going to change any minds here.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t get my son anything when he graduated from high school or college. I paid for both on my own. That’s more than enough IMO.

[Anonymous]

For my daughter I picked something out of my jewelry box and gave it to her. Not sure why I’m going to do for my son!
I agree that it’s not unusual for parents to give presents to nieces and nephews but not their own kid since they are presumably shelling out $$ for college. I guess a card with an IOU for the stuff they will buy for the dorm room would be nice though, like a coupon to go off-to-college shopping at Target or ikea or for a new warm coat or whatever else you will neeed to get them.

[Anonymous]

The most a grad gets from their middle class parents paying nearly full freight for college is a dinner with a card and maybe a trinket.
They should not be receiving expensive gifts.
The real gift is being born to responsible people who are successful enough to afford college for their kids!

The gifts adults give to graduates who are not their own is at most $100 and it's because they're not the ones paying their college.

I don't see what's so hard to understand here, OP.

[Anonymous]

She's upset?

Well, she can pay for college on her own if she wants.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like what’s bothering her is really the lack of acknowledgment. If her parents had explicitly said that paying for college was their gift to her, I doubt she’d feel this way. Instead, they never addressed it, which is what seems to sting.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t sound fair.

[Anonymous]

OP was a troll and hasn't come back.