Dreading beta

[Anonymous]

Have to go in for my beta and I'm dreading it -- like going to the dentist dreading it. I am not ready to have my hopes dashed again or to go through the roller coaster of emotion again. I dread getting the phone call and fear my reaction to it. And I cannot even let myself believe for one second that it will be positive, because it never has been and it hurts all the more when I let myself believe it might be and then it's not. I have butterflies in my stomach and am trying very hard to think about other things. . . but of course I can't. It's just looming. And no I haven't POAS, b/c my RE told me not to, but I wouldn't even if he hadn't b/c I hate those damn things. They are sticks of sadness those HPT's. Digging deep in these next few days. Just venting.

[Anonymous]

i can understand what you're feeling. it totally sucks & trying to prepare yourself for bad news. but YOU NEVER KNOW! try to be cautiously optimistic. it's tough, believe me...i know. i've never gotten a + either.

don't beat yourself up...it's totally natural what you are feeling.

if it does come back negative - - - - HAVE A NICE TALL COCKTAIL!

[Anonymous]

Ah yes, the silver lining is always the cocktail.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry - I know how you feel. I woke up today - my beta day with small red spot when I wiped. I skipped going for the test because I already knew the sad news. Not sure how I am going to make it through the day. Wondering when I should just stop trying and going thru this every month. Unfortunately, a cocktail won't help me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have to go in for my beta and I'm dreading it -- like going to the dentist dreading it. I am not ready to have my hopes dashed again or to go through the roller coaster of emotion again. I dread getting the phone call and fear my reaction to it. And I cannot even let myself believe for one second that it will be positive, because it never has been and it hurts all the more when I let myself believe it might be and then it's not. I have butterflies in my stomach and am trying very hard to think about other things. . . but of course I can't. It's just looming. And no I haven't POAS, b/c my RE told me not to, but I wouldn't even if he hadn't b/c I hate those damn things. They are sticks of sadness those HPT's. Digging deep in these next few days. Just venting.

I know how that feels as I went through negative beta experience myself. I usually request an E-mail rather than a phone call - easier to read the bad news than to hear them on the phone. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

12:51 -- OP here -- so sorry you got bad news today. I know nothing anyone can say will really alleviate the disappointment and pain you feel. Just know you're not alone. Be kind to yourself and do only what feels comfortable to you today.

[Anonymous]

No need to fear the beta - got a negative hpt this am. Burst into tears. Here we go again.

[Anonymous]

So sorry. Sending you lots of hugs. Your time will come, as will mine. One way or another, we will become mothers.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry. I have the nurse call my husband and I avoid making work appointments in the afternoon so I can go home 'sick' if needed.

[Anonymous]

so so so so sorry....

[Anonymous]

That is a good idea re: the nurse calling my husband. I wasn't sure they'd tell him. But that would certainly make it easier to not have to hear those words. Thanks ladies. I so need this support - as we all do -- on these bad days.

[Anonymous]

I hate the beta too. It's hard to believe it will either be (or stay) positive. Tall cocktails actually can make me more depressed--sleeping pills are better!

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry.