Compatible activity w/3yr boy and preteen girl

[Anonymous]

Parents are looking for how to plan seeing friends who we're very close with, but suddenly their pre-teen is not at all interested in engaging with my 3-year-old. They used to play together constantly.My child doesn't seem to understand the need for personal space and gets so excited to play.

I'd like to see these friends often, but I'm not sure where would be a good place to meet.

I welcome your suggestions.

Thank you

[Anonymous]

The pre-teen feels like s/he is babysitting the 3 year old. There really is not a "compatible" activity. (1) You could PAY preteen to babysit while you and the other parents hang out. (2) meet at your home and have preteen stay at home or meet at their home so preteen can escape to his/her room. Put show on for 3 year old.

[Anonymous]

A nature walk or place they can bike. But don’t expect them to play together. You’ll need to entertain and supervise your kid while catching up with your friends.

[Anonymous]

A hike, the zoo, a museum. Plenty of places both ages will like, but that doesn’t mean they’ll play together (or that they need to).

[Anonymous]

Would you have wanted to play with a 3-year old when you were that age, OP?

[Anonymous]

You cant expect free babysitting from the teen. You could pay them to mind your 3 year old while you and friend catch up. They may be excited about that opportunity. Otherwise you can plan things where you are watching your own child, maybe a hike or playground visit. But dont expect pre teen to be the one helping your kid on the slides, thats on you unless they are being paid.

[Anonymous]

Pre teen should be allowed to do her own thing, read a book etc. and the parents parent the 3 year old.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I don't think it's a reasonable expectation for a tween to enjoy hanging out with a three year old. We went through this in my family, my niece is about 10 years younger than my youngest kid. My sister kept trying to plan these joint activities and vacations "for the cousins to hang out!". Sorry, but the things a 12-14 year old boy wants to do on vacation - boogie boarding, surf lessons, rock climbing, white water rafting, zilpining - are just not appropriate for a preschooler. And the things a 2-4 year old enjoys are not going to be fun for a middle schoolers. It just came across as my sister looking for a free babysitter for her kid so that she could enjoy her own vacation. We stopped agreeing to those joint events.

There may be some places that can cater to both for short stretches of time, like the zoo or a big aquarium. But even then, you're going to be watching your kid while the tween does her own thing. Unless you pay her as a babysitter while you hang out with your friend.

[Anonymous]

Ugh OP you give parents in this situation a bad rap. My kids are little and in no way do I expect an 11 year old to want to play with them.

[Anonymous]

Newsflash: This preteen NEVER liked hanging out with your kid. They were forced into being free babysitting for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents are looking for how to plan seeing friends who we're very close with, but suddenly their pre-teen is not at all interested in engaging with my 3-year-old. They used to play together constantly.My child doesn't seem to understand the need for personal space and gets so excited to play.

I'd like to see these friends often, but I'm not sure where would be a good place to meet.

I welcome your suggestions.

Thank you

Then get a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents are looking for how to plan seeing friends who we're very close with, but suddenly their pre-teen is not at all interested in engaging with my 3-year-old. They used to play together constantly.My child doesn't seem to understand the need for personal space and gets so excited to play.

I'd like to see these friends often, but I'm not sure where would be a good place to meet.

I welcome your suggestions.

Thank you

Then get a babysitter.

This. It’s time to start socializing with them without both your kids. Just get a sitter.

[Anonymous]

Their whole family is probably annoyed that you drag your preschooler over there and then say things like "DC just doesn't understand personal space!"

Unless you have a 2-5 year old, no one, aside from family, wants you to bring one with you when you hang out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their whole family is probably annoyed that you drag your preschooler over there and then say things like "DC just doesn't understand personal space!"

Unless you have a 2-5 year old, no one, aside from family, wants you to bring one with you when you hang out.

+ 100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pre teen should be allowed to do her own thing, read a book etc. and the parents parent the 3 year old.

I don’t agree with reading a book. That shuts the preteen out of any possible social interactions. If they’re in the house they can watch a funny movie, play simple board games, the preteen can teach the three year old tricks. Outdoors they shouldn’t have a problem, eat at an outdoor shack type restaurant, walk around. Plenty of families have siblings with age gaps and they make it work.