Would you use a donor egg for a second child?

[Anonymous]

I have very low AMH (0.03) and I’m now 43. I tried one ER without success and have gone through other stimulation cycles with no response. My cycles are very irregular, and I’m feeling exhausted from continuing fertility treatments without results.
My DE is turning 5 soon and has been asking for a sibling since she was 2. About a year and a half ago, I conceived spontaneously, but it ended in a MMC.

At this point, I would consider using a DE, but my husband is hesitant. He has suggested asking my sister to be the donor, which I feel somewhat uncomfortable about.

I’d really appreciate hearing what others would do in a similar situation, or how you have navigated these decisions.

[Anonymous]

What do you want? Do you want another child? I understand that your child is asking for a sibling, but what do you want?

[Anonymous]

I would like a 2nd child, ideally from a non related DE.

[Anonymous]

I really wanted a second child, so yes, once I was at your spot and was basically out of other options, yes, I would use a donor egg.

I don't have a sister, but if I did, I would absolutely have asked her (and yes, I know it's not a small ask, I've been through IVF) but making it absolutely clear to her that I expected and was completely fine with a "no."

But none of that matters - I agree with the previous poster that what matters is what YOU want and what your husband wants.

[Anonymous]

I did this at your age. No regrets!

[Anonymous]

No. I’d adopt a 2 year old in a heartbeat though

[Anonymous]

Back up a step. Agree with other person. Have a second child because you want one, not that your other child wants one.

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar position and our decision was absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Have you done natural cycle IVF with CNY?

[Anonymous]

We used a donor egg for our second. He’s now 8. I wish we made the decision earlier instead of all the pain and suffering trying with my own eggs. I was 41 when I had him. No regrets. Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you done natural cycle IVF with CNY?

OP here, no I did minimal stimulation at SGF, no success. Did you have any success stories at CNY with my numbers? Thanks

[Anonymous]

OP here, and for the ones who go for a DE for second child having the first OE, would you disclose that information to the DE? to your family/friends? Thanks a lot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and for the ones who go for a DE for second child having the first OE, would you disclose that information to the DE? to your family/friends? Thanks a lot!

I meant to the child, not the DE (I guess they are anonymous)

[Anonymous]

We did DE for our second child who is now a teenager. Everyone knows. All is well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I’d adopt a 2 year old in a heartbeat though

Same.