where's the good advice on video gaming limits

[Anonymous]

House rules currently are only on the weekends and after structured activities. But my 2nd grader thinks and talks about gaming all the time.
Who are the best advice givers out there on how much gaming is appropriate? Good books or substacks on this?
DS gets good grades, does sports but could be reading more andI fear games rewire the brain for short attention spans and all those things.

[Anonymous]

My son is the same way- we really only do video games on long breaks- so a couple times of year. It means he isn’t talking/thinking about them all the time, but it’s not none.

The key is to replace the interest with something else fulfilling/exciting. For my son that’s any competition- cards, boardgames, playing horse etc. Unfortunately, we haven’t found a ton of things that are independent. He does read, and plays legos some, but not often enough.

[Anonymous]

Read dopamine kids

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're doing the right thing, OP. Just because he's thinking and talking about video games all the time doesn't mean you need to give in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:House rules currently are only on the weekends and after structured activities. But my 2nd grader thinks and talks about gaming all the time.
Who are the best advice givers out there on how much gaming is appropriate? Good books or substacks on this?
DS gets good grades, does sports but could be reading more andI fear games rewire the brain for short attention spans and all those things.

Based on the posters here there are a lot of kids with adhd and video games are not the issue.

Who says he should be reading more? How did you come to that conclusion? His grades are good, how more verification do you need that he’s academically doing what he needs to do in the second grade?
I only know that my family members and their friends who lived for video games as kids are all now in college doing well. The even older ones are working and still play games to relax. I’m sure you’ll get the cross bearing ladies who see games as the devil but they aren’t.

I’d worry about making it forbidden fruit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:House rules currently are only on the weekends and after structured activities. But my 2nd grader thinks and talks about gaming all the time.
Who are the best advice givers out there on how much gaming is appropriate? Good books or substacks on this?
DS gets good grades, does sports but could be reading more andI fear games rewire the brain for short attention spans and all those things.

Based on the posters here there are a lot of kids with adhd and video games are not the issue.

Who says he should be reading more? How did you come to that conclusion? His grades are good, how more verification do you need that he’s academically doing what he needs to do in the second grade?
I only know that my family members and their friends who lived for video games as kids are all now in college doing well. The even older ones are working and still play games to relax. I’m sure you’ll get the cross bearing ladies who see games as the devil but they aren’t.

I’d worry about making it forbidden fruit.

Hmm, any adult males I know who game super regularly are weird.

I don't think they are the "devil" but I'd limit it for sure to make sure engaging in the real world is happening and the primary outlet for socializing is seeing other kids in person. Sorry the cliche fear of some dude sitting in his basement playing video games and having most relationships be online is a real scenario. I know teenage boys like this.

[Anonymous]

What exactly is the concern? You've set up decent boundaries that sound like they're being followed. It seems like your concern is that he's thinking about games a lot?

If you want him to play games less, then tighten up those boundaries. If you want him to talk about games less you can ask him to stop talking to you about them, but that's a pretty harmless behavior If you want him to think about games less, you're probably out of luck. A lot of kids have brains wired to develop borderline obsessive interests. You're not going to change that. You can control behavior, but controlling thoughts isn't likely to be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:House rules currently are only on the weekends and after structured activities. But my 2nd grader thinks and talks about gaming all the time.
Who are the best advice givers out there on how much gaming is appropriate? Good books or substacks on this?
DS gets good grades, does sports but could be reading more andI fear games rewire the brain for short attention spans and all those things.

Based on the posters here there are a lot of kids with adhd and video games are not the issue.

Who says he should be reading more? How did you come to that conclusion? His grades are good, how more verification do you need that he’s academically doing what he needs to do in the second grade?
I only know that my family members and their friends who lived for video games as kids are all now in college doing well. The even older ones are working and still play games to relax. I’m sure you’ll get the cross bearing ladies who see games as the devil but they aren’t.

I’d worry about making it forbidden fruit.

Hmm, any adult males I know who game super regularly are weird.

I don't think they are the "devil" but I'd limit it for sure to make sure engaging in the real world is happening and the primary outlet for socializing is seeing other kids in person. Sorry the cliche fear of some dude sitting in his basement playing video games and having most relationships be online is a real scenario. I know teenage boys like this.

weird just means that you don’t like their style but who are you to judge?

[Anonymous]

You have to worry about all of it, friends will have different limits and different self control. As one poster said, you have to worry about making it a forbidden fruit, making adhd worse, keeping them from the social capital of game discussion and connecting with friends through games and building bonds... I don't think one size fits all or is applicable season to season. What worked with my kid was making sure they were still doing tons of outdoor play with friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:House rules currently are only on the weekends and after structured activities. But my 2nd grader thinks and talks about gaming all the time.
Who are the best advice givers out there on how much gaming is appropriate? Good books or substacks on this?
DS gets good grades, does sports but could be reading more andI fear games rewire the brain for short attention spans and all those things.

Based on the posters here there are a lot of kids with adhd and video games are not the issue.

Who says he should be reading more? How did you come to that conclusion? His grades are good, how more verification do you need that he’s academically doing what he needs to do in the second grade?
I only know that my family members and their friends who lived for video games as kids are all now in college doing well. The even older ones are working and still play games to relax. I’m sure you’ll get the cross bearing ladies who see games as the devil but they aren’t.

I’d worry about making it forbidden fruit.

Hmm, any adult males I know who game super regularly are weird.

I don't think they are the "devil" but I'd limit it for sure to make sure engaging in the real world is happening and the primary outlet for socializing is seeing other kids in person. Sorry the cliche fear of some dude sitting in his basement playing video games and having most relationships be online is a real scenario. I know teenage boys like this.

With elementary school kids it’s easy to ensure that they are out there in the world. School, activities, family these are all social times. Having a friend over to play games is just another activity.

As for the teens in the basement those are the lonely kids, the excluded kids. Most don’t have anything else. It’s up to the parents to get them outside any way they can.

[Anonymous]

When Ds was in ES we allowed 30 minutes of video games a day during the week and an hour on the weekend. He only played video games when he didn’t have other things to do. He selected a bunch of after school clubs, a sport, and Scouts as activities. There were plenty of days that he just didn’t have time for video games. We would stop at the park walking home from school, he would stay after school for a club, he would have baseball practice or a Scout meeting. He enjoyed those things so he didn’t mind not playing video games.

He plays more as a MS student but still only when there is time. He selected several clubs after school, plays a rec sport, and is still in Scouts. Those keep him busy enough that most days he doesn’t have time for video games.

I would be concerned if he was saying he didn’t want to do other things to play video games, but that hasn’t happened. It might happen, kids can change, but we have not had that happen yet. And yes, he and his friends talk video games all the time. You would think he plays hours on end but he doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:House rules currently are only on the weekends and after structured activities. But my 2nd grader thinks and talks about gaming all the time.
Who are the best advice givers out there on how much gaming is appropriate? Good books or substacks on this?
DS gets good grades, does sports but could be reading more andI fear games rewire the brain for short attention spans and all those things.

Based on the posters here there are a lot of kids with adhd and video games are not the issue.

Who says he should be reading more? How did you come to that conclusion? His grades are good, how more verification do you need that he’s academically doing what he needs to do in the second grade?
I only know that my family members and their friends who lived for video games as kids are all now in college doing well. The even older ones are working and still play games to relax. I’m sure you’ll get the cross bearing ladies who see games as the devil but they aren’t.

I’d worry about making it forbidden fruit.

Hmm, any adult males I know who game super regularly are weird.

I don't think they are the "devil" but I'd limit it for sure to make sure engaging in the real world is happening and the primary outlet for socializing is seeing other kids in person. Sorry the cliche fear of some dude sitting in his basement playing video games and having most relationships be online is a real scenario. I know teenage boys like this.

weird just means that you don’t like their style but who are you to judge?

It’s true they are weirdos

[Anonymous]

A second grader should be playing zero video games. Seriously, I cannot believe you entertain this at all.

[Anonymous]

I really like the family IT guy: https://www.familyitguy.com/

And Ash Brandin on YouTube. https://www.thegamereducator.com/

My kids are a little older, and my husband also plays video games. Our basic strategy is 1) video games after everything else. 2) no playing with outside people 3) only parent approved games.

Lastly, if your kid talks about a specific game, it’s time to get curious about the game and join the conversation. Maybe play it too.