Birthday party is best way to keep friendship coming and going?
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Anonymous
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I threw my 4th grader son a birthday party first time ever that costed me almost a grand, now he gets a few birthday party invites from those kids. Partly due to covid reason and also not good at social skills, he only has gotton 1 birthday party invites from K to 3rd grade. So, is it how it works that hosting birthday party with friends is really important to keep friendship coming and going? Especially, parents are not good at social as well. Does that apply to both boys and girls as well? I am considering if I should fo the same for my younger DD to throw her a birthday party.
P.S. since it was his first time hosting birthday party with friends, so we did a pricey venue one to make sure all invited 12 kids that he likes would attend. |
Anonymous
| Yes, socialization peootes friendships. It doesn't need to be expensive. |
Anonymous
| Party invites are not the same thing as friendships. |
Anonymous
| Party attendance has nothing to do with whether kids become friends or not. |
Anonymous
| It's important but not the only thing. Play dates, doing sports or a club together. At this age, kids need to spend time together in a structured AND u structured ways to develop friendships. One party a year is not enough to keep a friendship going. |
Anonymous
| Invite a few kids over to your house or playground and give them snacks and let them play. It doesn't have to cost $$ to have fun. |
Anonymous
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How old is your kid such that you're still talking about Covid impacts on birthday parties? That has been back to normal for a number of years now.
Agree with PPs that reciprocating and organizing things and parental engagement in setting up playdates helps kids socialize in the younger years. In preschool the norm was all-class parties but starting in K we let our kids choose based on their friends but I did also try to include kids whose bdays he'd attended. I would focus less on having to spend $$$ - you can clearly do something for 12 kids for much less if that's the concern. |
Anonymous
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I think it can help- and may be more important for girls than boys (in my experience). I don’t love inviting kids over, but that can also help kids get closer outside of school
I find for boys- most of their friends come from the activities they do outside of school. For my girls, it had more to do with playground time and socialization at school |
Anonymous
| Oh OP, we have kids the same age and I recognize your writing every time you post. I hope you're getting help for your anxiety. Your son is fine. If you want him to have more playdates, you need to organize playdates. You cannot just rely on him being friends with someone at school. You need to do more outside of school. |
Anonymous
You...have never thrown your child a birthday party before fourth grade? What?? Most children get a birthday party every single year. |
Anonymous
| Consistent playdates with a few kids he is friends with does wonders. Yes, party invites are often reciprocal, but there is no need for the party to be so expensive. |
Anonymous
Why don’t you use ChatGPT to write what you’re asking |
Anonymous
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Sure. But not just birthday parties.
We are involved with many families with or without children through our work, our kids ECs, neighborhood, friends, family connections, hobbies, religious affiliations etc. When we invited adults for dinner, party etc, their children (if they have any) are always also invited. Even our birthday parties are inclusive and parents and siblings are included. |
Anonymous
| You're still blaming COVID? It's been 5 years. |
Anonymous
| You didn't need to spend a thousand dollars. And your kid has only gotten one invite because he's never had a birthday party before. Covid has nothing to do with it. My 4th grader has had birthday parties every year since Kinder and just had them outside then, with attendees wearing masks (before we knew we didn't need them outdoors). |