What does “soiling the nest” look like in your house?

[Anonymous]

Dd is a high school senior graduating in a few weeks. A lot of changes in the past few months. Nothing drastic, but definitely not “her” (ie grades dropping a little, snapping at us a lot more, forgetting things she would usually be on top of).

Trying to be patient. What does soiling the nest look like in your house?

[Anonymous]

This isn’t nearly as bad as it could be because I remember me as a senior. I was out and came in at all hours of the night or didn’t come home at all. Apparently DH did this too. We didn’t know each other.

My kid - Being loud as we are trying to sleep, he’s doing random things in the house and talking on the phone. Leaving dishes on the floor in random rooms of the house. Being condescending since he thinks he knows more than us about everything. At least he’s not out driving.

[Anonymous]

Mostly just snapping at younger sister. It kills me. And general “I-know-everything” vibes.

[Anonymous]

Ask me in a few weeks. Too busy wrapping up the school year to soil anything yet.

[Anonymous]

He was extremely snappy until he made up his college choice. Now he’s back to good with us. Just a lot of moaning about how he does not want to do all the senior events but has to bc his girlfriend is making him (he’s an introvert and she’s an extreme extrovert).

[Anonymous]

I am seeing overreaction to younger siblings, disproportionately annoyed, and we’re walking on eggshells. Kind of seems like hurts and insecurities from the past are surfacing now. Is it to this level in some families?

[Anonymous]

No, no, no soiling the nest. They were just too busy with other stuff - graduation stuff, winding down with school stuff, shopping, plans, other EC stuff, getting their medical, dental appointments, pictures with friends, meeting all the teachers they loved ...

My two kids did not want a graduation party (they were attending many themselves) but they wanted money to do different activities and trips with different groups of friends - and that continued for weeks. We planned international vacations for a week as a graduation present, and we did that with them as a family.

My kids also went to state unis around 30 minutes away - so it was not like it was very heartbreaking. They were dropping in and out of the house for all the 4 years of college.

My kids are out of college now. Working, one is even married. They still come and go from my house even if we are travelling and not available. Their room looks exactly the same as it was in HS. I am ok with all of this.

[Anonymous]

The older one suddenly lost her sense of humor and was kind of bossy and demanding. The younger one graduates HS in two weeks, and he remains as delightful as ever.

[Anonymous]

My senior who has always been hyper independent is suddenly very clingy and a homebody. She spent 18 years already soiling the nest we say so this is a big surprise for her to want to spend so much time with us. We will take whatever we can get.

And before people say we’re bragging, remember she really did spend 18 years acting like she always wanted to move out. We have paid our dues.