If you genuinely LIKE your teenager, did you also LIKE them as a child?

[Anonymous]

Might be a bizarre question but I can’t think of how else to word it…

My boys are under 10. I teach high schoolers though and spend quite a lot of time with high schoolers (think: hall parent at a boarding school). Granted I am not their parent so I might see a more tender side of them, but I like these boys so much. They’re good company, funny and kind.

I’m curious…were they like this as kids? I could ask their parents but it’ll sound like I don’t like my own kids which isn’t the case. But, my kids weren’t easy and I still feel like I am managing them. It’s far from enjoyable.

I’d love some insight especially for boys!

[Anonymous]

Yes! I lucked out in that regard. My DS in particular has always been super sweet and engaging, and he turned out to be a delightful teenager.

[Anonymous]

Love and like the child you have, not the child you want or decide they should be.

[Anonymous]

I have a nibling who was really tough as a baby and thru ES and turned into a really cool young adult.

[Anonymous]

I adore both of my teenagers and they were easy, delightful children as well. Their baby years almost broke me, though.

[Anonymous]

I still love my teenager but that doesn't mean parenting him is easy. Anything but. He wasn't an easy child either but he was much more loving as a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I adore both of my teenagers and they were easy, delightful children as well. Their baby years almost broke me, though.

This. That’s why I only have one. He was determined not to sleep as a baby. Had a rough year or two in toddler times and again around 11 but I love hanging with him and he’s awesome.

[Anonymous]

I really liked my kids when they were babies, children, pre-teens, teens, young adults and now adults. I think a lot of credit goes to my family and DH who were super supportive to me. As a result, I was a calm mom. And my home was calm. My kids had a lot of family around to love them and so they also grew up happy and calm.

[Anonymous]

I think you have a different relationship with them. That’s why it seems easy breezy. There can be a lot of friction as your kid grows up and wants more independence from you. This is true even if they were easy as kids. They also become more secretive and often make stupid decisions that can be life changing.

[Anonymous]

I love, and like, my adult son and teenage daughter and have always done so.

BUT

My son has ADHD and autism, and I was also continually irritated and stressed over his behavioral, physical and cognitive symptoms for many years. There were terrible days in our life together that I don't want to remember, OP. Many of them! However despite being absolutely infuriating at times, he was never intentionally mean, which is why I have always liked him as a person.

My daughter is delightful, and has always been delightful. She's a whip smart kid with no development issues, and has a savage sense of humor, and often uses us as targets, which might not be to everyone's liking, but she's so funny that we can't be offended. She really brightens our days.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Both my sons. They are 2.5 years and get along great and are so funny. 18 and 20 now.

I got lucky. They were easy kids.

[Anonymous]

My oldest was so hard from 0-4 then a little easier until 8, then neutral until 12. Since turning 13 she is lovely, and absolutely easy to be around. She’s almost 15 now, and I hope it continues this way, but I was a hard teenager, so we’ll see.

My other two have been comparatively much much easier. I sort of think every kid has to have a tough stage?? I hope it doesn’t hit all three at once, lol

[Anonymous]

I love and like my kids.

My oldest was a difficult kid and had extremely difficult times as a teen. He is extremely strong willed and will always take the hard way. We have a feeling he is going to do this for his young adult years many times. He’s always been fired once from a job, as a teen.

Our youngest was an extremely easy child and is giving us a harder time as a teen in so many ways. We have a feeling others would say she is nice and polite, not so much to her parents.

Parenting is not easy.

[Anonymous]

13:33 and I reread my post and it sounds too negative. They are both nice and kind too, in addition to being incredibly difficult and strong willed! They are a lot like both of us, which frustrates us at times even more.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I liked them when they were young and now as young adults, but agree there are a lot of frustrating times. Kids are always different outside the house. I've seen both of my boys at college events interacting with friend's parents and they are so charming. It always makes me smile. Generally I really like their friends too. GenZ boys are great, despite the bad rap.