Should we do anything?

[Anonymous]

A kid's parents have told me that their son (same age as mine) does not have neighborhood friends because their neighborhood is quiet. We do not live in the same neighborhood, but we are close by. Our neighorhood is also quiet as well. We both do not live in the main neighborhoods where 70%- 80% of school kids are. They only have 1 child, and I have 2 children. Both of my kids are in school aftercare, and there are 2-4 activities per kid every single week. I do not even have my down time or my "me" time.

My question is that they tell me the same thing every single time about their child is lonely and no neighborhood friend. I think they want me to plan or initiate something. But I feel like it is a lot easier if they just suggest or invite my kid over to their house to play, and I just do the drop off ifvthey want to. Both kids do not have much common interests & personalities are different (quiet (their son) vs loud (my son), but they get along. I am quite overwhelmed with both kids' schedule, and it is not easy for me to plan something. And, they tell me before that they do not understand why the young sibling tag along or stay at the playdate. Well, I will have similar situation unless the playdate is hosted at their house (drop off my child) or a short outing. It is not easy to plan that out.

We do not really understand what they expect us to react or do or it is just chit chat meaning nothings at all that they have been telling us that their only has no neighborhood friend over the past few years. Their child also does seasonal sports, language school and other activities. Are we overthink or are they hinting is to plan something?

[Anonymous]

They are probably just making conversation. If you don’t want to plan something, don’t. If they want to solve their issue, they need to either host or move to a more lively neighborhood. You don’t owe this any more mental space than it’s already taken up.

[Anonymous]

"I hear what you're saying about wanting Larlo to do playdates. If you are thinking about inviting my DS, give me a week or two notice please so I can make sure it works with the schedule for both of my kids, and so I can make sure my DS wants to be dropped off."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I hear what you're saying about wanting Larlo to do playdates. If you are thinking about inviting my DS, give me a week or two notice please so I can make sure it works with the schedule for both of my kids, and so I can make sure my DS wants to be dropped off."

This is insanely passive aggressive. It another parent said this to me, if avoid speaking to her at all in the future. Is that the goal?

[Anonymous]

I would not do anything. Or explain to them very clearly that it only works for you if they can take both kids. I don't think that's rude. It's rude to bring two kids when only one was invited, but if they want this friendship then they should be more flexible and invite both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not do anything. Or explain to them very clearly that it only works for you if they can take both kids. I don't think that's rude. It's rude to bring two kids when only one was invited, but if they want this friendship then they should be more flexible and invite both.

They aren't inviting, though. OP is just inferring that they want her to invite them, even though they've never said anything about this.

This is dysfunctional. There is no problem here. OP doesn't have to manage anything. The other woman has not invited OP's child for a playdate. She is not waiting for OP to invite for a playdate. They are just parents making small talk sometimes. The other woman is bringing up an issue that is on her mind, or may think that since OP has a similar issue (not living near other school families, living in a quieter neighborhood with fewer kids), it's an appropriate topic of conversation.

OP is making this weird for no reason. The other woman doesn't have to do anything. She's fine.

[Anonymous]

I think they are just looking for empathy or maybe feeling out if you would like the kids to play together more (vs. fishing for an invite to your house). If the kids are friends, why not have them occasionally play together? It doesn’t have to be a big deal or planned in advance. If you happen to be free one afternoon, you can text and say “do you want to get the kids together”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not do anything. Or explain to them very clearly that it only works for you if they can take both kids. I don't think that's rude. It's rude to bring two kids when only one was invited, but if they want this friendship then they should be more flexible and invite both.

They aren't inviting, though. OP is just inferring that they want her to invite them, even though they've never said anything about this.

This is dysfunctional. There is no problem here. OP doesn't have to manage anything. The other woman has not invited OP's child for a playdate. She is not waiting for OP to invite for a playdate. They are just parents making small talk sometimes. The other woman is bringing up an issue that is on her mind, or may think that since OP has a similar issue (not living near other school families, living in a quieter neighborhood with fewer kids), it's an appropriate topic of conversation.

OP is making this weird for no reason. The other woman doesn't have to do anything. She's fine.

Op, mind your own business. Be kind. Be more sympathetic. This other woman has not asked anything of you. She’ll figure out her life and her child’s life. Not every kid wants constant lively, nagging neighborhood kids.

[Anonymous]

I think you’re overthinking this. She’s making conversation. Don’t borrow trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are probably just making conversation. If you don’t want to plan something, don’t. If they want to solve their issue, they need to either host or move to a more lively neighborhood. You don’t owe this any more mental space than it’s already taken up.

+1 I used to set up a lot of playdates for my kids and I would follow up an opening conversation like this with a concrete playdate suggestion. It's on them to initiate unless you are really interested.

It's also not a big deal to decline. I don't take much personally anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are probably just making conversation. If you don’t want to plan something, don’t. If they want to solve their issue, they need to either host or move to a more lively neighborhood. You don’t owe this any more mental space than it’s already taken up.

100% OP why are you reading so much into this?

[Anonymous]

This is not your problem to take on.