How to best reciprocate?

[Anonymous]

I have been friends with a couple for 30 years. We aren't in each others day to day lives but we see each other maybe 3-4 times a year. The man in the couple recently retired and has a lot of time on his hands. Both he and his wife offered his services to do whatever jobs I might need done. I had a list! He seemed really keen to have things to do, they have both said he needs more to help him stay busy and they resisted when I tried to offer tham something as thanks. They are in a very good financial situation, much better than I am.

I don't know if I should bring them something anyways? They don't need anything but he is doing things for me I would pay someone for otherwise. He is using his time as well. He is hard to buy for as he buys everything he wants / needs, eats a very restrictive (clean) diet, doesn't drink, and has very expensive hobbies that use very specialized equipment.

[Anonymous]

Get a gift card to a store he shops in for either his hobbies or a health food/grocery store he likes

[Anonymous]

Yes, get him something. Gift card to a restaurant you KNOW they like, or along the lines of what PP suggested. Also a heartfelt note. They sound like really good friends and kind people!

[Anonymous]

I would send a note of thanks and then just try to spend time with them.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have taken him up on his offer. Changes the dynamic of the relationship.

[Anonymous]

This is why people do flowers. But yes a nice note is the way to go.

[Anonymous]

He sounds pretty awesome! 👏🏽

I think taking him out alongside his wife for a nice dinner.

[Anonymous]

Could you cook them dinner one evening (or bring them dinner) using a recipe that adheres to his diet needs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't have taken him up on his offer. Changes the dynamic of the relationship.

NP.
Agree .. Ugh
I’d also still send a gift card

[Anonymous]

Choosing a gift card is the worst option. It could come off as disrespectful.
They didn’t just give you money; they offered their time and skills. That’s a service. While it has a monetary value, it’s not the same as giving money.
You can’t return the favor with a gift card because they don’t need your cash.
Instead, think about giving them a service or creating a memorable experience for them.
You’ve known them for 30 years, so you definitely know their preferences. If you’re stuck, consider getting a gift or doing something special for their kids.

Remember, the best gift you can offer is to continue being a genuine, kind, and dependable friend.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not a gift card! The point is not restricted monetary compensation, it’s a token of thanks. Flowers and a card. Whatever. NOT a gift card. That’s insulting.

[Anonymous]

Gift cards are the absolute worst. They’re just cash that’s hard to spend.

[Anonymous]

I would invite them over for dinner or take them out for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would invite them over for dinner or take them out for dinner.

This. Not a gift card.

[Anonymous]

The gift card opinion differences are interesting. I’m in the “more time on my hands” stage of my life. I like helping out my neighbors and community because I have what many young parents don’t—time.

I also have everything that I want and the funds to buy what I want. I truly don’t want a gift card to anywhere. I won’t remember to use it, I’ll leave it at home.

Flowers and a card are great. I’m obviously older so getting by a hand written note in the mail is a wonderful surprise. I would remember that token of appreciation much more than a gift card.