Husband trying to put 10 week old on strict sleep schedule

[Anonymous]

Is this normal? He’s been reading these books on sleep training and seems really focused on it. I think the baby is too young at this point. Am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

Yes you are wrong. Let him try

[Anonymous]

Due to husbands job loss I had to go to work full time evenings when my second was 10 weeks old. My husband sleep trained him and I did not want to know the details. But when I got home at midnight the baby was always asleep and I would dream feed him. He’s 8 now and totally fine. Don’t worry too much about this. If you are sleep deprived from constant waking you can feel like you’re losing your mind.

[Anonymous]

No, that’s awful. Routine is very good for baby, but forcing sleep is not realistic.
Take over sleep duty and redirect him to making baby food.

[Anonymous]

Recommendation is no sleep training before 4 months old. This is an incredibly young baby…you will sleep again but be patient.

Trust your instincts as a mother. Everything in this world (loving husbands included) will try to distance you from your instincts. You know very deeply what is best for your baby. Honour that voice.

[Anonymous]

“Strict” can mean a lot of things. I was very committed to eat-awake-sleep and to putting the baby down drowsy-but-awake at that age. I also used timers to wait x minutes before intervening during the night. All babies wake up in the night, and some of them are more loud/mad about going back to sleep once they’re ready to do it. Both were very effective and important for us.

The main thing though is that some babies are a lot easier than others and a small set are very, very hard no matter what you do.

[Anonymous]

Aiming for a routine is great. Waiting a beat before rushing to a baby in the night is great.

It’s considered too young for cry it out. (And both parents have to be on board for that.)

What is he actually doing?

[Anonymous]

Like cry it out? No way. I did try to keep my DBs on a fairly strict feeding and nap schedule by that age, but it was based on trying to vibe with natural rhythms for their benefit . . . not trying to force them into sleeping and eating when it was convenient for adults.

[Anonymous]

Let him do it. You don't' even need to know what he's doing. He is the child's parent, too. Take this as a blessing and go out for coffee or put in earbuds and watch a show. Lucky you!

[Anonymous]

while at it, tell him to train the baby on mealtimes too. he will learn he is NOT in control soon enough.

[Anonymous]

Is he an engineer and trying to "fix" the baby?

I'm trying to remember the name of the god-awful book that advocated early sleep training when my oldest was a baby that my husbands coworker recommended. I threw it in the trash. Baby wise?

10 weeks is too young.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the advice, if your dh wants to try it, let him have at it. Especially if he is trying to get a chunk of 6-8 straight hours, rather than a more ambitious goal.

FWIW, two of my dcs slept ~12 hours straight at 12 weeks. We sleep trained in a sense but it was not CIO. Just routine and swaddling, etc. They were both about 6 lbs when born (one was a little less). I supplemented with formula which I think is a must, but some babies are ready for this.

That said - my middle db did not sleep through the night until 3 yo (and I started formal CIO with her her as she got to be 4-5 months).

I will note the sleep rules have gotten a lot stricter, which I think makes it tougher for parents. My oldest slept exclusively in her car seat for about 5 months- our pediatrician gave us her blessing. That would probably be considered child abuse now. My middle used the rock n play. My youngest actually did ok following the sleep rules but he has some delays and was always sleepy.

[Anonymous]

That’s too young. There was a popular book advocating early scheduling for sleep and feeding in 2010. Babies died. You need to follow their cues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to husbands job loss I had to go to work full time evenings when my second was 10 weeks old. My husband sleep trained him and I did not want to know the details. But when I got home at midnight the baby was always asleep and I would dream feed him. He’s 8 now and totally fine. Don’t worry too much about this. If you are sleep deprived from constant waking you can feel like you’re losing your mind.

+1 but I would first talk to your pediatrician about your baby's weight gain before sleep training.

We did it around this time, too, but only after the pediatrician said DC was growing at a healthy steady rate. We did it for both our kids, and they are now 17 and 20 and great sleepers, and high achieving.


We were both losing our minds and arguing a lot. Putting our babies on a schedule (though flexible) saved our sanity. Babies ate and slept much better, too.

[Anonymous]

That age is too young to let cry it out for an extended amount of time.

That baby is perfect to begin a good routine of not having to rock baby to sleep, but instead creating good routines and letting the baby fuss a bit. Swaddling was key to that for us.

It’s hard to tell what you mean by the question and answers are therefore very strongly in favor of one side or the other, but you have not given us enough information.