Co-parenting therapist recs for high conflict divorce?

[Anonymous]

Located in DC

[Anonymous]

Posted on special concerns but don’t worry, they’ll probably hire a custody evaluator and you’ll be assigned a therapist and you’ll have to think and say and do what you’re told.

All joking aside, you are looking for someone with experience in family systems or a parenting coordinator, but if you are high conflict there are probably big issues behind that like mental illness, coercive control, etc. that these people don’t have the experience or knowledge of those things thay they should.

I would focus on getting a settlement fast and getting the cleanest tightest parenting plan you can and googling “parallel parenting.” If you’re truly high-conflict, you’re not going to be coparenting.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the above. I’m shocked at how many therapists who brand themselves as co parenting experts know zero about abuse and abuse dynamics, etc.

I’m a couples and family therapist and they sometimes send me their hardest cases and it’s apparent they have zero understanding of narc abuse and how no one should be in any type of counseling when that is active. in divorce the therapist also needs to be able to see through everything and have a very in depth understanding of how these dynamics play out even post relationship/divorce etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the above. I’m shocked at how many therapists who brand themselves as co parenting experts know zero about abuse and abuse dynamics, etc.

I’m a couples and family therapist and they sometimes send me their hardest cases and it’s apparent they have zero understanding of narc abuse and how no one should be in any type of counseling when that is active. in divorce the therapist also needs to be able to see through everything and have a very in depth understanding of how these dynamics play out even post relationship/divorce etc.

A couple we are close to is getting divorced in a very nasty way and I'm shocked at how bad the therapist is. Due to allegations from both sides, the lawyers and guardian ad litem have requested to speak to many of us who are friends and the guardian said at one point that we needed to "honor Larla's truth" (Larla being the child). This was after Larla told my children that her mom told her that I had accused her mom of doing drugs, which I never did. It was also after Larla told another child that her mom was Larla's dad's lawyer, which is also not true (she's not even a family law attorney). Obviously none of us know the real truth and which allegations are true, but I do know what I said and in my statement both to the attorney and the guardian I said I had never witnessed the mom doing drugs, which is absolutely true.

Anyway, watching people go through a divorce makes me glad I have a good marriage but also conscious of wanting to work hard to keep it that way. This conflict only ruins the kids, who had no part in this.

[Anonymous]

Find a trauma therapist

[Anonymous]

Do you need to find a psychologist who is willing to go to family court for or with you?
Those are hard to find; most would rather keep making hourly money on zoom or talking. Not taking notes and preparing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Posted on special concerns but don’t worry, they’ll probably hire a custody evaluator and you’ll be assigned a therapist and you’ll have to think and say and do what you’re told.

All joking aside, you are looking for someone with experience in family systems or a parenting coordinator, but if you are high conflict there are probably big issues behind that like mental illness, coercive control, etc. that these people don’t have the experience or knowledge of those things thay they should.

I would focus on getting a settlement fast and getting the cleanest tightest parenting plan you can and googling “parallel parenting.” If you’re truly high-conflict, you’re not going to be coparenting.

Avoid court orders public social worker custody evaluators or parenting coordinators.

Do private or forget it- too many flying monkeys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the above. I’m shocked at how many therapists who brand themselves as co parenting experts know zero about abuse and abuse dynamics, etc.

I’m a couples and family therapist and they sometimes send me their hardest cases and it’s apparent they have zero understanding of narc abuse and how no one should be in any type of counseling when that is active. in divorce the therapist also needs to be able to see through everything and have a very in depth understanding of how these dynamics play out even post relationship/divorce etc.

A couple we are close to is getting divorced in a very nasty way and I'm shocked at how bad the therapist is.

Due to allegations from both sides, the lawyers and guardian ad litem have requested to speak to many of us who are friends and the guardian said at one point that we needed to "honor Larla's truth" (Larla being the child). This was after Larla told my children that her mom told her that I had accused her mom of doing drugs, which I never did. It was also after Larla told another child that her mom was Larla's dad's lawyer, which is also not true (she's not even a family law attorney). Obviously none of us know the real truth and which allegations are true, but I do know what I said and in my statement both to the attorney and the guardian I said I had never witnessed the mom doing drugs, which is absolutely true.

Anyway, watching people go through a divorce makes me glad I have a good marriage but also conscious of wanting to work hard to keep it that way. This conflict only ruins the kids, who had no part in this.

Most Guardian ad litems are total fools. They will muck up anything and usually get smoothtalked by whomever performs the best, like the smooth talking dad who suddenly gets observed parenting for the first time in forever.

[Anonymous]

Find someone experienced who has a PhD in family counseling, better if also did some work in child & adolescent psychology.

[Anonymous]

Therapy is essential but merely a quarter of therapists are worth the fee and time you spend dealing with them.

[Anonymous]

I have a rec for you if and only if you aren't experiencing abuse / coercive control, and that's Lisa Herrick. She's good for what courts mean when they say "high conflict" (two people who just can't quite control their tempers). She doesn't seem to have any special knowledge of coercive control though.

[Anonymous]

Came on here to ask the same thing. No personal experience with them, but I’ve been looking and found this: https://thecoparentcollective.com/coaching

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the above. I’m shocked at how many therapists who brand themselves as co parenting experts know zero about abuse and abuse dynamics, etc.

I’m a couples and family therapist and they sometimes send me their hardest cases and it’s apparent they have zero understanding of narc abuse and how no one should be in any type of counseling when that is active. in divorce the therapist also needs to be able to see through everything and have a very in depth understanding of how these dynamics play out even post relationship/divorce etc.

Poster at 4/15/2026 07:46 — Is there any way you would share your name and where you’re located (and any contact information you feel comfortable sharing)? I am looking for a therapist who understands this dynamic.