Incessant complainers

[Anonymous]

I have two more days with a cousin and girlfriend visiting my home. I love them, but it's non stop chatter. And maybe 3/4 of their stories involve a complaint.

Like I sent them on a dinner date last night because I needed silence, and the food was delicious. The ambience was delicious. But after those two compliments they spent 37 minutes taking about the service being awful despite me trying to redirect a couple times, after commiserating with (I think) a reasonable amount of empathy.

What can I do to make this more tolerable? I've tried to send them out to be tourists but they say they prefer taking it easy as home today. Right now I have a "headache" and am resting because otherwise they're following me around while I do chores.

Got any tips?

[Anonymous]

Maybe complain about something of your own and then bond over it all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe complain about something of your own and then bond over it all!

I could try that.

It's really not in my nature.

My husband used to call me out for always finding a silver lining on the dark clouds. He taught me that sometimes people just need to vent. So I have spent several years purposefully practicing listening! He says I'm much better now, but this is stretching my skills.

[Anonymous]

You are complaining about them complaining.

Have shorter visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are complaining about them complaining.

Have shorter visits.

I am. On the Internet. The place where complaints should live. Not in my living room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are complaining about them complaining.

Have shorter visits.

I am. On the Internet. The place where complaints should live. Not in my living room.

Why is your complaining ok but there’s isn’t? It seems a bit hypocritical. In any case the solution to your problem remains, reduce the amount of time you spend with them.

[Anonymous]

Just count down in your mind the time until they leave, lol. I sympathize, complainers/whiners are the worst. And they often find each other as these two have done.

[Anonymous]

Just suck up the two days left and then don't have them stay with you again.

[Anonymous]

I became a better person after leaving my hyper-negative family, OP. It had rubbed off on me, and I was a constant complainer. My boyfriend (now husband) needed to point it out to me. He's like you. I am happy to be reformed now

The worst is that you know they're going to complain about you too! This is what my relatives do.

[Anonymous]

Yikes!
Unfortunately there is not much you can do aside from just sticking the next two days out!

Sorry - - I also get headaches being around negative complainers as well - - it all gets old really fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are complaining about them complaining.

Have shorter visits.

I am. On the Internet. The place where complaints should live. Not in my living room.

Your living room sound better than my Internet as a place for complaints.

[Anonymous]

Board game?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I became a better person after leaving my hyper-negative family, OP. It had rubbed off on me, and I was a constant complainer. My boyfriend (now husband) needed to point it out to me. He's like you. I am happy to be reformed now

The worst is that you know they're going to complain about you too! This is what my relatives do.

I'm actually debating about pointing it out, because I think they're lonely in their community and I can't help but wonder if this is hurting their chance of connection. But I haven't known the girlfriend long enough to know how this could go down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Board game?

This is what we ended up doing!
Sort of fun but the games we chose were either too easy, too hard, too long, or too confusing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I became a better person after leaving my hyper-negative family, OP. It had rubbed off on me, and I was a constant complainer. My boyfriend (now husband) needed to point it out to me. He's like you. I am happy to be reformed now

The worst is that you know they're going to complain about you too! This is what my relatives do.

I'm actually debating about pointing it out, because I think they're lonely in their community and I can't help but wonder if this is hurting their chance of connection. But I haven't known the girlfriend long enough to know how this could go down.

I think it will solve your concern about being bothered with their complaints in the future.