New home - improved mental health?

[Anonymous]

We have been in a terrible rental for the last year after relocating across country. We close on a huge (for us!) home next week. It has a screened in porch, is NOT open concept and has second floor bedrooms at different ends of the landing. I’m so excited because parenting in our current open concept ranch that has bad energy (ICE raid on former tenants, smells like dog pee in basement) has depleted my energy and excitement to make a happy home.

I guess I’m nervous that the house isn’t the problem but me.

Can you share how bad layout/too small/too big spaces impacted you and the relief you gained when you moved?

[Anonymous]

New house gives you a blank slate for new start.
At the same time it gives you more than expected expenses, for window curtains/blinds and for new furnitures.
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

We moved a little over a year ago, after two hellish years with me losing my mind over noise from noisy neighbors. Unfortunately, some of the noise they were making was not necessarily unreasonable, but set off my PTSD. So it was truly hellish for me, and my mental health suffered majorly, but there wasn’t much we could do about it. We had purchased a very desirable home in a very desirable area within the beltway around 2010, and had refinanced during Covid, so we had a very low mortgage payment and that kept us from looking to move for a long time. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, and we moved.

I only wish we had moved earlier. Our lives are 100% better. I could not have imagined it being this much better.

I hope the same for you.

[Anonymous]

Sure. We rented a tiny 1940s bungalow. It was perpetually gross looking despite cleaning constantly, cramped, ugly tiny kitchen, carpet in bedrooms. It really was getting to me mentally and even though we loved our town, I just wanted out because I was so ashamed of that place and disgusted by it.

We then moved to a spacious, newer, bright large two-story home. I think it took me a full year of perpetually thinking "wow, this is where I live" to get used to it. It is certainly modest for DCUM standards but to me it was a palace. I still love living here and how easy it is to clean and maintain and it absolutelt made a difference in terms of mental health.

[Anonymous]

Worked the opposite for me. Turned out to have lots of concealed damage (yes, I had an inspection that revealed no such issues). Turns out, the stress of owning is too much for me mentally. Too bad I’ll never get my spouse on board to go back to renting.

[Anonymous]

It's not the house, it's you.

[Anonymous]

Sold a condo where we felt a little squeezed but generally okay and moved into a rental where I was absolutely miserable and had Covid twice (which I psychologically blame on the apartment). Purchased a large home in a wonderful location and my husband oversaw all the renovations before we moved in. My mood has been so much better ever since.

[Anonymous]

I had to move into a really crappy tiny slumlord-run apartment when I was out of work and now have rent control so can't leave. It definitely negatively affects my mental health 100%. So it makes sense the reverse would be true.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think it's very reasonable to think that the particular place where you live (the location and the home itself) are factors that can have a substantial impact on your mental health.

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation 10 years ago - deeply hated our ranch, horrible layout, 1 dated bathroom, tiny kitchen. Moved into a not palatial but big enough house with charm and curb appeal. And I still look around and have warm fuzzy feeling of gratitude to be here.

[Anonymous]

I think starting fresh is a chance to develop new habits and patterns and reexamine what you’re doing each day. That’s part of the benefit to a move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it's very reasonable to think that the particular place where you live (the location and the home itself) are factors that can have a substantial impact on your mental health.

I also think this is reasonable.

The main factors for me were moving to a home with much more natural light, space to entertain friends, a screened in porch, and a nice yard not on top of my neighbors. The natural light was probably biggest factor. 100 percent improved my quality of life.

[Anonymous]

Not always. Financial stress from overextending yourself or losing a portion of the income where your house becomes unaffordable can worsen your mental health even if you love the house and it initially made you super happy. It happened to me many years ago.

[Anonymous]

I had a move that led to a divorce.

Moving to a better, more functional house should have really improved our lives. But I think our former bad housing situation worked for my ex as a coping mechanism and way to externalize problems; he was on and off medication and pretty erratic about treatment. Without being able to blame his struggles on not having an office, not having a door to close to the tv room, not having space to easily store old tshirts, whatever, he fell apart.

Sometimes your environment improves and you have to face that you’re the problem. That awareness basically led to him having a violent mental breakdown.

Proceed with caution.

[Anonymous]

I think if you are in an improved living environment - - then your mental health can benefit as well.

Living in a clean, tidy ➕ cheerful surrounding can do wonders for the internal you!