Would you let a previous owner tour your house years later?

[Anonymous]

Last week I had a slightly odd interaction and I can’t stop thinking about it.

I was outside in the driveway chatting with my DD’s friend’s mom, who was picking her up after they’d hung out. While we were talking, a car pulled up to the curb and a woman got out and came straight up to me. She introduced herself, and I realized she was the previous owner of our house. (It had been her parents’ home and she grew up here.)

When we bought the house, we had mentioned we planned to renovate, and she seemed to understand that at the time. Now she asked if she could see the work we’ve done.

The timing was kind of chaotic; the other mom had arrived early, her daughter was still inside gathering her things, and I was trying to be polite and juggle both conversations. I ran inside quickly to check on the girls and get things moving, and when I came back out, the woman had left. She never came back.

Our house was a mess at the time, so part of me was honestly relieved. But ever since, I keep wondering about it, where she went, if she’ll come back, and what I’d do if she does.

The more I think about it, the more I feel like I don’t actually want to invite her in if she shows up again, but I can’t quite articulate why. It just feels… off?

WWYD? Would you let a former owner come in to see the house?

[Anonymous]

I would because I met the dw several times during the process and I really liked her. But your situation is a bit different since she has huge emotional attachment to the house and might be upset by the changes.

[Anonymous]

This happened in an episode of Night Agent and it was a ruse. The owner ended up dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last week I had a slightly odd interaction and I can’t stop thinking about it.

I was outside in the driveway chatting with my DD’s friend’s mom, who was picking her up after they’d hung out. While we were talking, a car pulled up to the curb and a woman got out and came straight up to me. She introduced herself, and I realized she was the previous owner of our house. (It had been her parents’ home and she grew up here.)

When we bought the house, we had mentioned we planned to renovate, and she seemed to understand that at the time. Now she asked if she could see the work we’ve done.

The timing was kind of chaotic; the other mom had arrived early, her daughter was still inside gathering her things, and I was trying to be polite and juggle both conversations. I ran inside quickly to check on the girls and get things moving, and when I came back out, the woman had left. She never came back.

Our house was a mess at the time, so part of me was honestly relieved. But ever since, I keep wondering about it, where she went, if she’ll come back, and what I’d do if she does.

The more I think about it, the more I feel like I don’t actually want to invite her in if she shows up again, but I can’t quite articulate why. It just feels… off?

WWYD? Would you let a former owner come in to see the house?

A previous owner knocked when I was just home from the hospital with. my second baby. It was a traumatic birth and my mom insisted on letting this random woman in to tour the house. Fortunately I stayed locked in my bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened in an episode of Night Agent and it was a ruse. The owner ended up dead.

Yes, we should all base our decisions by what happened on a fictional TV show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would because I met the dw several times during the process and I really liked her. But your situation is a bit different since she has huge emotional attachment to the house and might be upset by the changes.

OP here. My immediate thought was of an old light fixture she couldn’t stop talking about that her father had bought on a trip and had shipped home. It was one of the first things we changed and I always felt guilty about that. My mind went to and still goes to “omg her father’s light fixture”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would because I met the dw several times during the process and I really liked her. But your situation is a bit different since she has huge emotional attachment to the house and might be upset by the changes.

OP here. My immediate thought was of an old light fixture she couldn’t stop talking about that her father had bought on a trip and had shipped home. It was one of the first things we changed and I always felt guilty about that. My mind went to and still goes to “omg her father’s light fixture”.

Yeah, that's understandable. Maybe a visit would upset her.

[Anonymous]

Of course

[Anonymous]

Happened to us. Previous owner stopped by (they moved locally). I let him walk the outside- showed off the new deck, landscaping we put our blood/sweat/tears into, and how nice the tree trimming looked.

Then I back handedly mentioned all the things that needed work and are in the process of doing (your taste in paint sucked so we are repainting, you were a cheapskate with XYZ so we plan ABC)...type.

[Anonymous]

Goldie Hawn spent part of her childhood in Takoma Park. The current homeowner once said that Hawn would sometimes drop in unannounced and just wander around the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would because I met the dw several times during the process and I really liked her. But your situation is a bit different since she has huge emotional attachment to the house and might be upset by the changes.

OP here. My immediate thought was of an old light fixture she couldn’t stop talking about that her father had bought on a trip and had shipped home. It was one of the first things we changed and I always felt guilty about that. My mind went to and still goes to “omg her father’s light fixture”.

Seems odd that she wouldn't have taken that with her? Or if you took it down you wouldn't just give it to her?

[Anonymous]

I did. Bought a house from an older couple who had lived there for years. House had good bones (saltbox colonial in CT) but need updating. DH and I (we were early 20s) painted all the kitchen cabinets, took down old wallpaper, pulled up carpet, new hardware, all that kind of updating. Couple had moved into a one level home in same neighborhood. When we sold the house about 4 yrs later they came to look at it, and seriously considered buying it again! Wife couldn't stop talking about how much light there was. Uhm....I didn't move the sun, I just took down dark panelling and/or painted!

[Anonymous]

It's where she grew up. The house where she grew up. Do you not understand -at all- about this? Sure, you can/should do what you want. You don't need to invite her but don't be such an odd human being that you can't imagine her sentimental interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's where she grew up. The house where she grew up. Do you not understand -at all- about this? Sure, you can/should do what you want. You don't need to invite her but don't be such an odd human being that you can't imagine her sentimental interest.

There is sentimental interest, and then there is obsession. Unfortunately I have a couple relatives who seem to be obsessed with the houses they grew up in, to an unhealthy degree and can't understand why the new owners don't want to give them guided tours every few years.

My relatives are harmless, but I can understand why the new owners are perplexed and not interested in having them tour. At some point you need to move on and it's not your house anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course

Agreed. The answer is so obviously yes I wonder why anyone would ask the question?

Sure, if someone was sick or had a new baby or was trying to get a small child down for a nap, I'd say it was a bad time, but otherwise be a decent human being and let someone tour their former house!

If you're worried that it's a ruse, just ask a few questions to verify that they are telling the truth.