DD with high functioning autism struggling with HS

[Anonymous]

My DD has previously done pretty well in school (mostly As and Bs), but now that she is in 9th grade, she is getting Ds or Fs in half her classes. She is also struggling at home, although she has been doing better now than earlier in the school year.

She was recently diagnosed with autism and has anxiety, OCD, adhd. She is also taking meds for the last three. And is going to OT and a social skills group

Other than working with her more closely, are there any other ideas from someone who has been there? Private school? Going to school in person half time?

[Anonymous]

Can you identify why she is struggling?

Is the content going too fast?
Does she not understand the content?
Is it a time management issue?
Is she overwhelmed at the end of the day and has nothing left for homework?
Is she just not turning in her work?

[Anonymous]

OP again. Im most concerned about her mental health. But I'm also concerned about GPA, if there are any ideas about how to remove the lower grades.

I'd just hate for a poor period in 9th grade affecting her college future.

[Anonymous]

A poor period in 9th grade will not affect her college future. And if it does, that college is not the right one for your kid.

Focus on the mental health stuff. It will take TIME to unpack what the various barriers are and what is going on with her and school. What kinds of supports does she have in place at school?

Talk to your kid, build a good relationship, and try to build a path for her to seek help when she needs it (vs crashing and burning). It is a journey and there will be progress and setbacks. Doing better at home than earlier in the year is positive. Try to build on that.

[Anonymous]

For next year, can she drop down a level in difficulty? Like honors to regular classes?
There are lots of reasons 9th grade can be a disaster.
Go talk to the guidance counselor about the grades and what you can do. It’s late but who knows.

[Anonymous]

The only way to remove the lower grades is to retake the class over the summer for a different grade.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she is managing a lot - school, OT, social skills group. It’s probably worth dialing back your expectations around grades until she is in a better place mentally.

Identify what areas she is specifically struggling with and prioritize one or two things to work on.

My 17 year old AuADHD DD had similar experience this year, falling apart sort of all at once. I was worried she would refuse to go to school. We focused on switching medications and getting her therapist support for social anxiety. She has steadily improved which gave her the bandwidth to get grades back on track, have more energy to do things at home, etc.

It also may be helpful to give her something nice to look forward to like a special activity, knowing that she is struggling. It doesn’t have to be tied to a goal but a reward for putting in effort and working on overcoming her difficulties.

Hang in there, listen to her and be patient. She will get through this one step at a time.