Stay in Private or Switch to Strong In-Bounds DCPS? Looking for Experiences

[Anonymous]

Our kids are in early elementary at a well-regarded independent school that we really like. We feel fortunate to be there but are questioning whether the cost is the right long-term choice.

We can afford tuition now, but we’re high earners with some income volatility and no family support for tuition. We’re mindful that committing to private school for the next 15–20 years could limit career flexibility—and that investing those funds elsewhere could meaningfully impact our long-term financial picture.

At the same time, we place a high value on education and are open to making tradeoffs for our kids.

Since enrolling, we’ve moved in-bounds for a highly regarded DCPS elementary and are seriously considering switching our two younger children for elementary school, with the possibility of returning to independent school for middle school.

A few factors we’re weighing:

School experience: We’ve been happy with our current school but have also heard strong things about our in-bounds option. One child in particular benefits from a more attentive environment, and we’re unsure how they’d do in a larger setting.
Future plans: We’re not certain we’d stay on our current school’s full K–12 path and would likely explore other independent options later regardless. That makes the value of staying now less clear.
Logistics: Our oldest would remain in private school, so we’d be managing different schedules and school experiences.

For those who’ve made similar decisions, I’d especially appreciate hearing what actually happened for your family (vs. general advice):

- If you did public for elementary and private later, how did your child adjust—academically and socially? Anything they were behind on or especially well-prepared for?
- For kids who benefit from more attention or have some anxiety, how did they do in a larger public elementary setting?
- Looking back, do you feel private elementary was worth it—or not? What ended up mattering more or less than you expected?
- For anyone who made a similar decision: what do you wish you had known or prioritized beforehand?

We know there’s no single right answer but would really value others’ lived experiences as we think this through. I am especially interested in those for whom private school tuition was feasible but involved real consequence in terms of long-term career flexibility. We can pull this off but the trade-off is very real.

[Anonymous]

So your oldest would stay in private and you’re only considering moving the child who benefits from the smaller, more attentive environment of a private? I’m confused.

[Anonymous]

My kids both did public ES and one switched to private in 7th but I will say the public school and private school spring break are almost never the same week and that is definitely annoying.

[Anonymous]

My family moved around a lot when I was a kid. I attended public ES, private ES, public MS, private MS, independent k-12, religious, single sex. The only school I did not attend was a public high school.

In my lived experience, it depends on the kid and the schools involved. And no one on this board is going to be able to give you a great answer. They don’t know the situation.

My favorite school was the independent K-12 but I think it just fit me best. My least favorite was a 6-12 private. With the publics in the middle. Private is not automatically better even if you can easily afford it. Private schools may only have 1 or 2 classes in the early years and the teacher may be a bad fit with your kid. But you can get a bad teacher at public too. Just luck of the draw when so much comes down to one teacher.

Having applied to many private schools for my own children, it is a hard process when you are applying out from one private school to a competitor private school. It is at best awkward but there is a lot of passive aggressive comments and even down right obstruction when you are trying to leave one private for a competitor. If you are moving across the country, it’s better but administrators can slow roll your transcripts and make life difficult if you don’t want to stay at k-12 whereas my public school teachers were always happy for me to try and apply to private school and would write great letters of recommendation. If you know you aren’t going to stay at your current k-12 might be worth trying public. Then you can apply to middle school without the issues of leaving a private school for a competitor. But you know your kids best so don’t listen to me.

[Anonymous]

You could do public ES and then add tutoring if you think the public schools isn’t enough. That’s what our neighbors do, they do Kumon for math and then an online 1:1 French tutor. Also that Suzuki violin program through Washington Conservatory.

So it’s not just private or public. You could do public and then add private tutoring. Still a lot less expensive.

[Anonymous]

We used public until 9th grade and then switched to a Big3 (for each of 3 kids). If you can get the oldest kid in then it's pretty easy to get subsequent kids in.

[Anonymous]

Are you on track to fully pay for undergrad even if your kid goes to private ES? If so, then stay private.

This is our priority list:

1. Fully paid undergraduate
2. Private High School
3. 50% contribution towards graduate school
4. Private middle
5. Private ES

We think our kids are going to be more thankful about getting a big contribution to graduate school than being glad they went to a private ES. But that’s our belief, not everyone. Private ES when you have a good public is for the benefit of the parents not the kids. Maybe you could justify it if you wanted to attend the high school. But that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you on track to fully pay for undergrad even if your kid goes to private ES? If so, then stay private.

This is our priority list:

1. Fully paid undergraduate
2. Private High School
3. 50% contribution towards graduate school
4. Private middle
5. Private ES

We think our kids are going to be more thankful about getting a big contribution to graduate school than being glad they went to a private ES. But that’s our belief, not everyone. Private ES when you have a good public is for the benefit of the parents not the kids. Maybe you could justify it if you wanted to attend the high school. But that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

I'm thinking through all of this now with a 2 and 4 year old. The above points reflect a 2010 world where the assumption is that the pipeline leads to degrees. In a world that's rapidly shifting, should we treat K-12 like college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you on track to fully pay for undergrad even if your kid goes to private ES? If so, then stay private.

This is our priority list:

1. Fully paid undergraduate
2. Private High School
3. 50% contribution towards graduate school
4. Private middle
5. Private ES

We think our kids are going to be more thankful about getting a big contribution to graduate school than being glad they went to a private ES. But that’s our belief, not everyone. Private ES when you have a good public is for the benefit of the parents not the kids. Maybe you could justify it if you wanted to attend the high school. But that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

I'm thinking through all of this now with a 2 and 4 year old. The above points reflect a 2010 world where the assumption is that the pipeline leads to degrees. In a world that's rapidly shifting, should we treat K-12 like college?

Fair point. That line of thought leads to using good enough public schools for as long as possible and investing the saved tuition money in homesteads and AI companies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you on track to fully pay for undergrad even if your kid goes to private ES? If so, then stay private.

This is our priority list:

1. Fully paid undergraduate
2. Private High School
3. 50% contribution towards graduate school
4. Private middle
5. Private ES

We think our kids are going to be more thankful about getting a big contribution to graduate school than being glad they went to a private ES. But that’s our belief, not everyone. Private ES when you have a good public is for the benefit of the parents not the kids. Maybe you could justify it if you wanted to attend the high school. But that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

I'm thinking through all of this now with a 2 and 4 year old. The above points reflect a 2010 world where the assumption is that the pipeline leads to degrees. In a world that's rapidly shifting, should we treat K-12 like college?

As a mother of a 3 year old who is sending her child to a PK3-12 program in DC in the fall, I think you need to take a look at birthrates in the US in your primary motivation for private school is to get a college degree. Looking at birthrates, our kids will actually have a much easier time getting into college than we did in general. Now if you are looking specifically at Ivy League only, of course it is still going to be insane, BUT if you just want your kids to go to a solid college, as long as you nurture their love of learning, they will get into a college.

That being said, I think there are other positive aspects to private school and it can open other doors in other ways (an no I don't mean by "hob knobing with the elite" like some people like to see it as). For instance people regularly choose a religious school in order to instill the values of those religion into their kids. Each private school caters to a particular learning style and many specialize in different things. In that way, you can select a school that will develop your child in a way that works better for them.

So take a look at the private schools available to you, but don't feel scared into thinking it is the only way your child will be successful. It is just one of many ways to open the door of opportunity to your child.

[Anonymous]

What grades are you looking to swap into public?

We were in a "well regarded" DCPS and pulled kids for different reasons at different times.
We were are Janney and they do early elementary really well. But if your children have any learning differences, that is not an area where they (or most of DCPS) excels. Upper elementary - many families are supplementing with private tutors because the kids are having fun - but not learning in the classroom. I have friends at other local elementaries and it is common for them to be doing the same.

[Anonymous]

Like PP, we did DCPS and pulled our kids at different years for varying reasons. One we went through 6th grade, and the other through 3rd. Our kids have excelled at math and science and have absolutely had an uphill battle in writing and language arts. To the point I would consider them deficient when they started at their new schools. I never saw any work come home from our DCPS elementary or middle school, only the report cards and standardized testing that indicated our kids were well above grade level in whatever they were testing. However, my then 7th grader could barely compose a paragraph.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like PP, we did DCPS and pulled our kids at different years for varying reasons. One we went through 6th grade, and the other through 3rd. Our kids have excelled at math and science and have absolutely had an uphill battle in writing and language arts. To the point I would consider them deficient when they started at their new schools. I never saw any work come home from our DCPS elementary or middle school, only the report cards and standardized testing that indicated our kids were well above grade level in whatever they were testing. However, my then 7th grader could barely compose a paragraph.

Pay attention to this. I found my DC, who transferred to private in 5th grade to be deficient when it came to language arts/writing. It was actually embarrassing. She was coming from public and they had never written more than a paragraph and at her new private school, she was required to write essays and journal on a daily basis. The writing thing is very hard to make up for later on down the road. My DD is now in a competitive private school but is still not a very strong writer (she understands the mechanics of writing and grammar, spelling but actual writing and organization is just average). I don’t know if we will ever overcome that that poor start.

[Anonymous]

^^Will add that when we first saw how poorly she wrote, we scheduled a meeting with her new English teacher, who just encouraged her to keep journaling and her writing would improve, which it did. However, I need to emphasize how some public schools will mask deficiencies like this with high grades and standardized testing scores so you had no idea how bad it really is until it’s too late.

[Anonymous]

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