Am I being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is babysitting his 17 year old niece for spring break. He asked about coming over to see me and I said ok. He never showed and later said that he got caught up with taking his niece to the movies with her friends.

I kinda don’t like that he would just drop our plans. I totally think it’s fine to not see me while shes there. I even said he should focus on her the whole time but he insisted on wanting to see me.

Am I weird to feel annoyed? I don’t operate like this. I would either fully block off time with my family, or if I imitated an outing during my time with them I’d stick to it.

[Anonymous]

That's not unreasonable. I just ended a relationship for this issue (among others). We had plans for him to come over, and when he didn't show up, he said he had been working and would head over. I was like, dude, it's been 2 hours, I'm going to bed. It's not that difficult to text and say you got busy.

Ultimately it's disrespectful of your time and assumes you should wait around for someone else while they take their time.

[Anonymous]

The only acceptable excuse for a no show/no call would be his own medical emergency where his niece didn’t know about your plans, name or existence.

From a man’s perspective anyway.

[Anonymous]

Flakiness is annoying.

[Anonymous]

He didn’t call or text? Unacceptable. Also someone who ended things with someone who want quite a no show but would come hours late repeatedly.

[Anonymous]

Someone made plans to go to the movies and then just didn't show? I would be annoyed -- at the very least. The way your post reads he didn't call or text you to let you know? You haven't been clear about that.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Sorry my wording wasn’t the best in the original post. When he asked to come over it was around noon. We didn’t agree on an exact time when he’d come. He said he had to shower and eat and could come after. Then 4 hours later he texted and said he was caught up with his niece (no further details). Then today told me what happened.

I just feel like what was the point of initiating us spending time together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sorry my wording wasn’t the best in the original post. When he asked to come over it was around noon. We didn’t agree on an exact time when he’d come. He said he had to shower and eat and could come after. Then 4 hours later he texted and said he was caught up with his niece (no further details). Then today told me what happened.

I just feel like what was the point of initiating us spending time together?

I've found often with men, I have to specifically ask "What time can I expect you?" and if they say 2pm, I'll say back "so I'll see you here at 2pm?" If they're not there by 2:15, I go do something else. If they show up after I've left, oh well.

[Anonymous]

I know so many people like him, both men and women. Just don't remember or care to send a fast text to clarify. It's like it left their brain that something is up in the air. I have no patience with such people.
Just don't get married and watch out for more to come.

[Anonymous]

Is it annoying? Absolutely. But if it’s not a regular thing with him, I’d just let it go and chalk it up to sometimes it’s hard to predict/plan when people are visiting. Now you know that next time you should insist on him focusing on his visitors. I wouldn’t make a federal case out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sorry my wording wasn’t the best in the original post. When he asked to come over it was around noon. We didn’t agree on an exact time when he’d come. He said he had to shower and eat and could come after. Then 4 hours later he texted and said he was caught up with his niece (no further details). Then today told me what happened.

I just feel like what was the point of initiating us spending time together?

Well, presumably the "point of initiating [you] spending time together" was to enjoy the time together. He underestimated what he'd need to be doing with taking care of his niece. When he figured that out, which was still only afternoon, he texted you. And you hadn't set up a set time. Given these details, I think you just need to be understanding and stop whining with this "what was the point???" stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sorry my wording wasn’t the best in the original post. When he asked to come over it was around noon. We didn’t agree on an exact time when he’d come. He said he had to shower and eat and could come after. Then 4 hours later he texted and said he was caught up with his niece (no further details). Then today told me what happened.

I just feel like what was the point of initiating us spending time together?

Does anybody feel like we have seen this exact post before? Including the failure to include the fact that the guy texted in the original post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it annoying? Absolutely. But if it’s not a regular thing with him, I’d just let it go and chalk it up to sometimes it’s hard to predict/plan when people are visiting. Now you know that next time you should insist on him focusing on his visitors. I wouldn’t make a federal case out of it.

+1 He may have really wanted to see you, and then felt torn and just did f handle it well. If it’s not a pattern I’d let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it annoying? Absolutely. But if it’s not a regular thing with him, I’d just let it go and chalk it up to sometimes it’s hard to predict/plan when people are visiting. Now you know that next time you should insist on him focusing on his visitors. I wouldn’t make a federal case out of it.

+1 He may have really wanted to see you, and then felt torn and just did f handle it well. If it’s not a pattern I’d let it go.

I also agree if it was just this time. He maybe didn't understand that OP would truly have preferred him blocking this week to just focus on his niece (rather than make tentative plans or flake on her) and was trying to bite off more than he could chew by insisting that he could also make time for OP, then got caught up with his niece and didn't realize her friends needed rides home, or whatever. If he doesn't do this regularly and he also understands and is apologetic, you can work with that,

[Anonymous]

He didn’t handle the plans correctly.
Yellow flag.