Would you make your kid come?

[Anonymous]

My tween became a vegan a few months ago. One of her brothers has announced that he does not like vegan food. He rejects anything his sister eats.

This weekend is his sister’s birthday, and our tradition is that the birthday kid gets to pick a meal, restaurant or homemade, and the extended family gathers. Sister has chosen a vegan restaurant.

He is insistent that he won’t go. He says he hates all vegan food. I have told him he can eat a sandwich before he goes and then just order fries and a soda or something. He says the fries will “taste vegan”.

He is, in my opinion, being ridiculous, but I am not sure how hard to push.

I should note that my daughter has been to restaurants where her choices are very limited due to a sibling or cousin’s choice. She deals with it gracefully.

[Anonymous]

His behavior is awful. I would make him be present, but not make him eat because I don't make my kids eat.

I would dig a little deeper into why he's being like this.

[Anonymous]

Hes being a jerk in general. Is he older or younger?
I wouldn’t make him come if he’s going to spoil the evening however I would refuse to take him places for a while too. In families we do things for each other. If he doesn’t want to follow that general idea then he needs to feel the brunt of his decisions in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His behavior is awful. I would make him be present, but not make him eat because I don't make my kids eat.

I would dig a little deeper into why he's being like this.

+1 he is being ridiculous. I’d make him choose- he stays home and is grounded for weeks, or he comes and is nice and jovial during meal. He doesn’t have to eat, and I wouldn’t waste money. If he is anything but nice, he is grounded for weeks.
Three cheers for your daughter!

[Anonymous]

No punishment. Let her have time alone with her parents.

[Anonymous]

He goes, he eats beforehand and he doesn't order anything, and he is on his best behavior. Anything less = massive punishment. He's being a jerk, and I have no tolerance for that.

[Anonymous]

I would ask your daughter if she wants him there or not, given he will probably be quite sullen and sit without eating.

If she wants him there, make him come. If she doesn't want his angsty tween attitude at her party, leave him at home to scrounge up some food for himself.

[Anonymous]

Of course he comes. It's not even about the particular issue -- he comes because you tell him he's coming

He's a teen. He does what you tell him to do. He does not get to make this a debate. You do not need to convince him of anything.

[Anonymous]

This fake story greatly resembles the other post about the teen refusing to attend her cousin's graduation because she doesn't like the college colors and her seat.

It's written in the same style and speaks to the same subject - mental rigidity that resembles autism.

Find something better to do than troll on DCUM, OP.

[Anonymous]

and he's decent and polite while he's there

[Anonymous]

Oh, he comes. He doesn't have to eat, and he can eat beforehand, but you don't get to sh*t on your sibling's choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This fake story greatly resembles the other post about the teen refusing to attend her cousin's graduation because she doesn't like the college colors and her seat.

It's written in the same style and speaks to the same subject - mental rigidity that resembles autism.

Find something better to do than troll on DCUM, OP.

That wasn’t me!

— OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No punishment. Let her have time alone with her parents.

No, not this.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the person who said he should eat a meal beforehand and come as part of the celebration. He can order a drink or appetizer at the restaurant.

[Anonymous]

He attends and every meal you serve at home for the next week is vegan too