5 month old started daycare this week - how did a similar start go for you/your family?

[Anonymous]

My 5 month old son started daycare this week - just half days for now and we're increasing to full by the end of the month when DH goes back to work. I'm looking for advice, reassurance, or maybe a pep talk. I don't know. For those who had babies start daycare around that age, how long did it take for them to adjust? Is it normal that they struggle to sleep there at first? How do you balance the reassurances that all the daily updates provide (notifications for every activity and diaper change) vs. how distracting they also are to you during the day? On one hand the updates and pictures are nice, but I'm finding myself constantly waiting for them and the longer it goes between them the more I think "no picture means he's probably crying" or "another diaper change so soon? he must be inconsolable and they're troubleshooting"

His first day seemed to go okay but today it seems like he strugged to nap in the daycare environment. All the little babies are on their own schedules, which is good in some ways but it means that there isn't a universal nap time when the room gets dark and quiet like it does in the older classrooms. The babies are just put down for a nap when they're sleepy. The staff all seem very kind, but it's just such a big change from him being home with one or both parents where he was comforted immediately and in a generaly calm environment that was adjusted to his needs (dim the lights when he needs to sleep, etc.). I know we're lucky that we didn't have to start until 5 months, but it's still hard.

And before anyone suggests it - a nanny is not an option. We have a tiny apartment and due to our hybrid work schedules, having him here with a nanny would not work. I'm sure it's obvious by the fact that I even posted, but this is my first child.

[Anonymous]

It went very smooth. The teachers were warm and confident. My child had resisted bottles until that day. Not an issue from then on.

[Anonymous]

Your baby will be absolutely fine! It is normal to feel those nerves as a first time mom, and your baby’s routine will indeed be different at daycare. There will be a lot more stimulation and chances are they will not sleep as much at daycare as they do at home. Mine also drank more formula at daycare than at home. On home days, they would just have their home routines. I have three kids, they all did great, and now that they are in elementary, middle school, and high school, respectively, anxiety over daycare seems so small and distant. I had one with horrible colic, one who was very persnickety about her routines at home, one who ended up having mild cerebral palsy. All did well.

The frequent illness is unfortunately a reality but hopefully it will be less since you are starting in the spring.

[Anonymous]

^ turn off the notifications. Check at the end of the day

[Anonymous]

My son also did just fine at that age. I both felt relieved to be back and work and missed him like crazy.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,
You are doing the best that you can do for your family and child. Sending you lots of love.

[Anonymous]

I am sending you lots of love. Your child will be fine because your child will be around other infants and also supervised caregivers.

I am assuming that you do not have parents, ILs other family around that volunteered to offer you support, labor and money? If that is not the case then you are doing the best for your child on your own and you are doing a great job.

Becoming a WOHM or a SAHM - both have pros and cons. But, imho -
- as long as the parents are making decisions for the betterment of the family and the child,
- as long as parents are working together to create a safe, stable and functional home life,
- as long as parents are working towards giving financial security to the child (cause poverty is not good for children) and
- as long as parents love the child and the child feels that love,

then you are doing a great job and your family will thrive.

[Anonymous]

OP you are a beneficiary and victim of technological advances.
In the olden days there were no text or email updates, photos. Phone calls were for emergencies and you hoped not to get one.
Babies grew up fine because they had loving parents. Parents like you.
It's going to be fine.

[Anonymous]

It went fine. I think ours were 3 or 4 months when they started all day daycare. As they get to be 2 or 3 years old it also helps with socialization. (Our neighborhood has few kids and none who are the same age as ours.)

[Anonymous]

It went well for us. We had teachers who were extremely caring and loving.
Our baby adjusted well and learned so much in daycare. The only negative we had is that she got a lot of viruses and was sick often but the bright side is she is now in school and hardly ever gets sick. We would have been exposed to viruses anyway because my husband teaches.

[Anonymous]

Awful. But everyone got used to it eventually. Mine wasn't much of a napper at daycare, but that just meant she slept better at night. It will eventually be fine. I promise you it's worse for you than him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance the reassurances that all the daily updates provide (notifications for every activity and diaper change) vs. how distracting they also are to you during the day? On one hand the updates and pictures are nice, but I'm finding myself constantly waiting for them and the longer it goes between them the more I think "no picture means he's probably crying" or "another diaper change so soon? he must be inconsolable and they're troubleshooting"

It's been 15 years for us, but this would have made me crazy. We got a report (eating, sleeping, diaper, other) and any photos at the end of the day. Our baby evolved to have a different eating and sleeping schedule during the week as they did at home on the weekends, so you might see the same. It worked out pretty well.

Once your DH is back at work and the baby has gone full day for about a week, you really should ask them to hold the updates and photos until the end of the day. Constant updates sounds like a recipe to create an anxious and distracted parent. Does the daycare think this is good for you? I assure you, it isn't.