14 teen girl moodiness

[Anonymous]

My once very sunny 14 year old daughter is becoming increasingly unpleasant, her tone toward me is often rude and dismissive. Today she learned she didn't make the tennis team and I tried to give her a hug and she backed away and put her hand on me to gently push me away so I couldn't hug her. I don't know where my sweet girl went but I am having a hard time feeling rejected by my child, I know our relationship needs to evolve as she grows up though this stage is making me feel pretty sad.

[Anonymous]

Yep 14 is the worst. She will come back around once the hormones settle down a bit.

[Anonymous]

Not a child. She stopped being "a child" around 12. You better start addressing her as a young woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a child. She stopped being "a child" around 12. You better start addressing her as a young woman.

Why 12? Is it due to the “teen”, or 12 is a child but 13 is not?

[Anonymous]

Close enough. Point is, Op needs to transition

[Anonymous]

My 14 yr old DD is similar and as much as I don’t like it, this is a normal phase of growing up. Right now everything I do is annoying or lame. I have found she opens up on car rides home from practice as long as I remember not to give advice and just listen/empathize. The connection is still there but it is definitely evolving. I really miss the hugs. I do not tolerate rude behavior though- you really have to pick your battles at this age!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a child. She stopped being "a child" around 12. You better start addressing her as a young woman.

Why 12? Is it due to the “teen”, or 12 is a child but 13 is not?

I agree, 12 and 13 year olds are absolutely kids. Most still act like it too. 14 is iffy, I was still fine at 14.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep 14 is the worst. She will come back around once the hormones settle down a bit.

+1
I don't tolerate rudeness, but I let the moodiness slide and just make sure they know you're there when they are ready to talk.

[Anonymous]

Let her talk on her own terms. She’s transitioning to wanting to take more control of her life. Like a PP said she may open up on car rides. I spend a lot of time carting my 14 yo daughter around some days she is completely silent and others she is telling me everything she can think of.

Let her touch you on her own terms too. Same principle with this too. My H has figured out he needs to ask her if she wants an hug even before bed (although their secret handshake is still apparently ok lol). It’s important to recognize they are transitioning to adulthood and wanting to make their own decisions about their body as well.