8 year old son has been hiding my car keys to avoid going to school

[Anonymous]

I’m struggling with my 8-year-old son. Over the past couple of weeks, he’s hidden my car keys three times to avoid going to school. He’s always been iffy about attending and mornings would be a struggle, but that’s escalated. He takes them in the evening and hides them, and the next morning, I can’t find them. The first time, we were 30 minutes late. When I finally found them, he admitted he hid them on purpose because he didn’t want to go. Afterward, he ran to his room and locked the door, and refused to come out, so I had to force him into the car. The second time, he changed his mind and said he did want to go, but couldn’t remember where he hid the keys. The third time, he hid them again in a new spot, and even though I searched everywhere, he found another place I missed.

I’ve talked to him, and he insists there’s no specific issue—he just hates going to school. He does well academically, has friends, and has never gotten in trouble at school, so I’m at a loss.

How did you handle it when your child says they hate school and make it a battle every morning? I really need some advice on how to break this cycle.

[Anonymous]

School avoidance is a real thing. Reach out to the counselors at the school for advice. This probably has to do with anxiety.

[Anonymous]

I assume this is some kind of anxiety, it sounds severe. What is his punishment when he hides the keys? It needs to be significant.

[Anonymous]

You should post this on special needs forum.

[Anonymous]

My heartbreaks for your son. His solution is pretty creative though. Talk to a mental health professional to help him through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume this is some kind of anxiety, it sounds severe. What is his punishment when he hides the keys? It needs to be significant.

No TV time. He doesn’t use any other screens.

[Anonymous]

Find a therapist to help with his anxiety

[Anonymous]

Punishment will not address this behavior.

[Anonymous]

As others have mentioned, you child is experiencing school avoidance. Most commonly, there’s some sort of anxiety underlying it.

You’re doing the right thing by not giving in and allowing the avoidance to yield the result of not attending school. But you need to bring in behavioral health support to keep this from escalating and to help your child manage whatever feelings are motivating the school avoidance. Talk the school counselor and your pediatrician for referrals. It may seem like a big step to jump straight to out-of-school therapy, but you want to get on top of this before it escalates further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume this is some kind of anxiety, it sounds severe. What is his punishment when he hides the keys? It needs to be significant.

This is not a punishable offense. My armchair dx is some sort of anxiety that needs to be addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As others have mentioned, you child is experiencing school avoidance. Most commonly, there’s some sort of anxiety underlying it.

You’re doing the right thing by not giving in and allowing the avoidance to yield the result of not attending school. But you need to bring in behavioral health support to keep this from escalating and to help your child manage whatever feelings are motivating the school avoidance. Talk the school counselor and your pediatrician for referrals. It may seem like a big step to jump straight to out-of-school therapy, but you want to get on top of this before it escalates further.

Should I pursue a evaluation? Or just find a therapist?

[Anonymous]

Find a therapist. Where are you located? We might be able to give referrals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume this is some kind of anxiety, it sounds severe. What is his punishment when he hides the keys? It needs to be significant.

This is not a punishable offense. My armchair dx is some sort of anxiety that needs to be addressed.

OP, I really would ask about his over on special needs. My nephew has significant school avoidance behaviors. He is in therapy and on meds. He would absolutely be punished if he hid the car keys. OP needs to make sure he can't hide the keys obviously.

[Anonymous]

Also, maybe ask his teachers if there is anything that would explain new anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a therapist. Where are you located? We might be able to give referrals.

Bethesda.