Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

To preface this, my maternal side of the family is very small. Me, two aunts, my grandma, two cousins by one of my aunts. My grandma still cares, at 96, for my intellectually disabled aunt. My other aunt, who had two daughters, passed a few years ago from cancer. Up until her passing, we were all very close. The aunt that passed and her husband, along with my grandma, essentially raised me.
My youngest cousin is in her early 20s. She got married right before my aunt, her mom, passed. Her husband’s family reminds me a bit of the Shiny Happy people series. Wildly religious, homeschooling, etc. They were living with his parents until fairly recently. They purchased what my other cousin deemed a shack in the woods and have been remodeling it. After several miscarriages, my younger cousin is due with her first baby in a few weeks. My family lives about 2.5 hours away. I couldn’t attend the baby shower due to a snowstorm. I have been trying to get my cousin her gift with difficulty. She doesn’t want to meet halfway like we would normally for a girls dinner, even with her sister (my other cousin) driving. I have offered to bring it directly to her, but she kept putting me off and finally told me to just mail it as her in-laws are there all the time helping get the nursery ready. I went ahead and shipped it to her dad’s house. Our grandma emailed that my cousin doesn’t want her to visit even after the baby comes. We don’t even know her new address. My uncle has been bereft and distant with the rest of us since my aunt died, which is another story,
I am kind of at a loss. I’m about 20 years older than my cousin, have 3 children of my own who my aunt saw as her own grand babies. I promised her I would help with her daughter’s babies, but it feels like my cousin is pushing me away. Aside from our grandma, I am her only relative who has had children. My aunt came and helped for a week at least with each of my births. I had planned to at least go for a couple days to help het after her baby is born, but she’s acting so oddly. I worry this is something weird with her husband’s family, and my husband thinks he may be monitoring her communications. I also just miss the closeness we all had before my aunt passed. Am I overreacting? Is this just the natural path of some families to grow apart? Do I keep pushing?

[Anonymous]

I don't think there really is anything to do here, but it is odd that she told your/her grandmother to not visit. it sounds like she's gotten herself tangled in a cultish family.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard to know what’s driving her behavior. She might just want more independence and privacy to do things her own way. Let her know that you’ll be there for her if she needs anything and then just drop it. Don’t keep pushing, but stay in touch.

[Anonymous]

I don't blame her for not wanting to meet halfway if she is pregnant. I can also understand not wanting houseguests if they are remodeling. So it's not necessarily something nefarious, but I agree some of it sounds strange. Agree with not pushing but keeping in contact.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the husband is isolating her. The best thing you can do is keep reaching out in a pleasant way. Don’t say anything bad about the husband. If she is snippy or weird just ignore it. Leave the door open and hope she will want to leave. Don’t do or say anything that would make it difficult for her to call you.

[Anonymous]

Can you go visit Grandma and then find time to “ Pop in for a quick visit”
Or have another reason to be in her area, and do the same?