Give me a dating plan
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Anonymous
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49 yo - separated almost a full year (emotionally longer, but official move out was a year ago). Divorce is still on going and may be another year or two.
I’m well educated, work out everyday, and a successful business person. Have two teen daughters. Live in McLean. Would like to dip my toe back into dating. Lots of friends have used expensive match makers and maybe I’ll be there in a year but right now am looking for coffee, dinner, a drink and just getting back into dating. I’m also going to try to get out more to places where people meet vs going to a movie with a friend. I joined eharmony and ran out of candidates in like 2 days, am checking out hinge and facebook dating. It’s been 20 years and I don’t know the landscape - I also don’t want more kids, don’t feel pressure to ever marry again (unless I met someone for whom it was important to them) |
Anonymous
| Finalize the divorce and do the work first. |
Anonymous
| ^ agree |
Anonymous
| +1 |
Anonymous
Nah. It’s been a year. OP just wants to date not get married. I would totally date OP as is! Just need to be honest. The only way it would be an issue would be if OP was handling the divorce process poorly with a lot of angst. OP it’s a numbers game. Just get out there! |
Anonymous
+1000000 |
Anonymous
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I think OP already did quite some work-didnt they say it was emotionally longer than year?
I am sure there are more dating sites than eharmony..others? |
Anonymous
| I am 48. You sound like someone I might date if your divorce was final. Mine took two years. I did not date during that time. It is very hard to meet men my age. I date very occasionally. When I do, it is younger, never married men. I will never remarry. |
Anonymous
I think the “do the work” part has already been done. That is not the issue. It is that divorce can be messy and would not want to date someone in the process still. It is not an emotional thing. Clearly, it is over. It is the legal part. |
Anonymous
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In your case, I'd be inclined to wait to meet new men until your teen daughters are out of the house. You don't want to get involved with men who are strangers to your young teen girls. You can't be too careful when it comes to this. It's sad, but I know many women whose mom's "boyfriend" acted inappropriately with them or straight up abused them as teens.
I waited several years before I was open to relationships with new men. I did not want my children to have to witness my romantic adventures. And I definitely didn't want men in my house with my underage child. |
Anonymous
| Do NOT spend a dime on match makers. They are merely serving up dates with the exact same men who are on the apps. It is a rip off. |
Anonymous
are you a man or woman? Are you trying to date men or women, or both? |
Anonymous
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OP here - sorry my bad! I’m a woman and looking for men. I’m also not trying to get into anything super serious - more take it slow, meet people, see if anything is there.
Thanks for the thoughts on not dating during separation. Honestly, my therapist encouraged me to get back out. We emotionally agreed to divorce like 18+ months ago, took 6 months to find the right house nearby and have been physically separate for a year, and our divorce is literally worked out in terms of custody, finances, etc. I’m ready to sign - ex would prefer that joint assets be fully sold before we sign. My attorney has advised we can absolutely sign with future sold assets covered in the agreement, but ex won’t do it - it’s his prerogative and right, but I’m not willing to live on hold until they all sell. He was pretty controlling for many years (he pulled the cord on marriage), so not super surprised but don’t wish to have my life dictated by him anymore either. He moved on six months ago and has a very serious relationship and I’m happy for him. |
Anonymous
All messy. Don’t loop a new man into all of that Finalize that divorce |
Anonymous
+10000 |