Share iQ test results?

[Anonymous]

Would you share IQ test results with your child? (Gifted) What are the pros and cons?

This is for a child who is both over confident (thinks they have no weaknesses and are smarter than everyone else) and lacks confidence (says they are stupid).

[Anonymous]

I would not give them the actual score, but would say they have strengths in whatever area if you have to, and weaknesses in other areas, if true. But I don’t think this information would help your kid at all, so I would not even talk about it. Your kid is clearly struggling with how they view themself, and that’s what needs help. Focus on everyone has strengths and weaknesses and all brains work differently, but you care most about being a good person.

[Anonymous]

Yes, this will help them with confidence in proof they are smarter and understanding that they are still different and why. I think they will navigate personal challenges easier with more information.

[Anonymous]

I tell my kids "you are all in the 130 range" to give them validation that they are smart but do not give specifics that they can lord over each other or other kids.

[Anonymous]

We told our kid in high school since she had some statistics in a few classes and could understand the flaws in the test & why it doesn’t really matter unless you do something with it.
I think of it like Forrest Gump said “Stupid is as stupid does” but instead “Smart is as smart does”.

[Anonymous]

I did not tell my 15 year old his IQ results; this is the primary reason I am not sharing his full neurospsych results with him. It gives false confidence IMO.

He has that mix of thinking/knowing he is simultaneously the smartest person but also the stupidest person. Anxiety and ADHD kid.

My oldest sibling is very much the same - high IQ, anxiety, ADHD. It was a train wreck in high school. Straight As but she -- and everyone around her -- suffered at home as she worked to earn those As. Being untreated, it lasted through college and even now into her (incredibly successful) career. She is 50 and - finally - getting some EF training.

[Anonymous]

No.

I don't see the value in it. I don't think it correlates with life satisfaction.

[Anonymous]

At age 17, I let my kid read his entire neuropsychological report, which included IQ scores. His comment after - that it reflected him really well.

Prior to 17, I told him that the testing indicated that he was smart enough to do anything he wanted but that he, like everyone, had some weaknesses and places where he would have to work harder than others. I also consistently said that success is not just about how smart you are, but how hard you work and not giving up or letting other people stop you, and that it is better to try and fail than never to try at all.

[Anonymous]

Mine scored 135. I told him he scored 110 so he's gonna have to bust his ass to make things happen.

Working out pretty well so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you share IQ test results with your child? (Gifted) What are the pros and cons?

This is for a child who is both over confident (thinks they have no weaknesses and are smarter than everyone else) and lacks confidence (says they are stupid).

There are pros to sharing patterns, relative scores on sub-tests to help them understand the unevenness of their profile, or giving them a range, especially if done in context of their life and experience.
There are not pros to throwing the whole report at them, or sharing their full scale score. Especially for a kid who lacks self-awareness and maturity, as you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine scored 135. I told him he scored 110 so he's gonna have to bust his ass to make things happen.

Working out pretty well so far.

Yikes, I hope he doesn't discover you lied to him -- that's never good for the parent-child relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At age 17, I let my kid read his entire neuropsychological report, which included IQ scores. His comment after - that it reflected him really well.

Prior to 17, I told him that the testing indicated that he was smart enough to do anything he wanted but that he, like everyone, had some weaknesses and places where he would have to work harder than others. I also consistently said that success is not just about how smart you are, but how hard you work and not giving up or letting other people stop you, and that it is better to try and fail than never to try at all.

This is the best way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At age 17, I let my kid read his entire neuropsychological report, which included IQ scores. His comment after - that it reflected him really well.

Prior to 17, I told him that the testing indicated that he was smart enough to do anything he wanted but that he, like everyone, had some weaknesses and places where he would have to work harder than others. I also consistently said that success is not just about how smart you are, but how hard you work and not giving up or letting other people stop you, and that it is better to try and fail than never to try at all.

As someone who works in education, this is the approach I’d take.

Kids don’t have a lot of context about IQ. It’s just one way to measure intelligence. Success and satisfaction in life depends on the hard work that one puts into cultivating skills varying from social intelligence to the ability to tolerate frustration. There are unhappy geniuses who don’t do much notable with their lives. There are also skilled, hard working people whose accomplishments exceed those of others who have higher IQs.

Many children, especially those with OP’s child’s profile will fixate on the number. They’ll share it with peers as a point of pride, even if they’ve been told not to do so. Most school-aged children don’t have the ability to accurately judge their own work, and they often lack the impulse control to self-censor when sharing certain information would be inappropriate.