Stone Ridge vs. Sidwell for upper school

[Anonymous]

I posted in the official decisions thread, but posting my specific questions in case other folks have input.

DD is admitted to both of these very different schools and is torn. She intentionally wanted to explore a range of schools, and wanted to include a same sex school. We have friends at most of the girls’ schools in the area and I’ve heard positive things from our friends at SRSH, versus NCS, which has been a tougher environment.

The problem that we have now is that she said she felt so much “happier“ during her visit to SR, where she feels that the environment at Sidwell will be too intense and pressured. And she’s not wrong, I think that that is an accurate assessment of Sidwell. Culturally, however, we are a progressive/single parent family, not Catholic, and I think that Sidwell may be more consistent with our thinking than the more traditional environment of SRSH. Importantly, Sidwell is 1 mile up the road from where we live, as opposed to a 25 minute drive into Rockville. If these choices seem opposed to each other, we did not anticipate having two choices that were so disparate from each other.

I am trying hard to listen to my daughter and make the right choice. But we are down to the wire and she has not decided yet. I can’t figure out if she just wants me to choose for her or if she’s looking for my support and permission to decline Sidwell (which I told her she has. This is not about attending a “name“ school or prestige for us.). I’ve asked her directly and it’s hard for her to say.

It’s been stressful.

Any parents of kids at these schools or those that faced a similar choice, please weigh in. If it matters, I’m a working SMBC so all driving and logistics would fall on me, DD is also an athlete and would be involved with theater (so after school activities).

[Anonymous]

I mean, why did she apply to SR if you didn't want to send her there?

[Anonymous]

SR is Catholic in name only so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Sidwell is objectively a better school.

[Anonymous]

DCUM is going to tell you that Sidwell is the better school and dump all over SR. As someone who had a DD in a similar boat and went with SR, here are some things to consider:

1. Commute is important, but you aren't dealing with an over the bridge type of commute and lots of girls come from NW DC to SR. Many take the metro.

2. People love to say "Catholic in name only," which is just not true--it is an independent Catholic school, which means it has a different flavor than a diocese or parish school. We felt comfortable as non-Catholics and appreciated the emphasis on service. Girls do need to take a religion course each year, and some people do not like that because it "takes away from rigor" or prevents students from taking electives of their choice, but DD ended up liking them because they were a nice counter to an otherwise stressful course load. Morality was one of her favorite classes.

3. There are conservative families and liberal families. The school leans more toward the liberal. Take that for what you will.

4. DD was extremely well prepared for college. She had a challenging course load and plenty of homework without it feeling like a pressure cooker.

5. DD was at the top of her class, but was the only kid who applied to her college that year. Had she gone to the other HS, there likely would have been more applicants from her class. Many of the top students at SR apply to Catholic schools. If your DD is a strong student, she'll land at a top school--regardless of whether or not this board deems it prestigious.

6. You, as the parent, will not be interacting with the parent community at either school that much unless you really make an effort to do so. Socially, it's more important that she feels comfortable.

7. Lots of sporty girls at SR, but that was not DD's thing. She leaned into the arts and had a good experience with that.

There will be things at either school that you will not love. Your DD will get an excellent education at both. Her day-to-day experience and "fit" are important, so don't discount that in the name of DCUM prestige.

[Anonymous]

15:06 thank you for this detailed and thoughtful reply. I added some of your thoughts to our pro and con list and will share with DD. 14:00 we applied because objectively it’s a great school and we were impressed by it. The question here is which school is a better choice for DD. Thanks all for your input.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have any experience of SR so cannot comment on it or compare, but just wanted to respond to the concern about it being pressured at Sidwell. I know it is commonly described on here as a “pressure cooker” but I genuinely haven’t felt that to be the case for my kid who joined in 9th. Kids seem friendly and supportive of each other, I don’t feel like the school puts pressure on kids to achieve specific results and the workload seems very manageable particularly if your kid is organized and uses free periods well.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the political culture of the school is as important as you think it is - you’re really not as progressive as you think you are if you’re sending her to private school. I would base the decision on other factors here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think the political culture of the school is as important as you think it is - you’re really not as progressive as you think you are if you’re sending her to private school. I would base the decision on other factors here.

This! As a happy non-Catholic family that chose SR over Holton you’re missing the plot. The political culture at all these schools will have families that lean both ways and in the middle.

[Anonymous]

To echo the PP above, Sidwell's academic intensity is what you make of it. English is challenging and rigorous for everyone, but Math and Science offer both standard and accelerated courses, which allow students to pick the classes at an appropriate speed for them. The heart of the "pressure cooker" reputation lies in the English and accelerated Math classes, which are only available by teacher recommendation and not encouraged if the student is not performing at a high level. By no means is there an expectation to take them.

You noted that your DD would want to participate in theatre -- I can't speak for SR, but Sidwell's theatre program is amazing. Talented kids, faculty is dedicated and amazing, the program is well-funded, and the students who participate have a very kind, inclusive, and supportive community.

In addition, the girls' sports teams here are tight-knit and rank extremely well, and your DD would find her place there 100%.

[Anonymous]

Sidwell all the way...no question.

[Anonymous]

Sidwell is a very traditional school. It is not progressive the way GDS is.

Really the biggest question is single sex versus co-ed, the rest is not that dissimilar around the edges.

[Anonymous]

Agree, Sidwell 100%. It's a better school, and it's much closer to you. As others have noted, the intensity level is largely in your control with the levels you choose for math and science. We have a son in Upper School now, and I can't say enough about the student and parent community. We are incredibly happy with our choice.

Also, the new US building that is opening in the fall is going to be incredible.

[Anonymous]

This has to be a joke….of course Sidwell (speaking as a private school parent, not at either school but with lots of neighbors at both)

[Anonymous]

Do you want to be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond? Your daughter needs to answer this question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree, Sidwell 100%. It's a better school, and it's much closer to you. As others have noted, the intensity level is largely in your control with the levels you choose for math and science. We have a son in Upper School now, and I can't say enough about the student and parent community. We are incredibly happy with our choice.

Also, the new US building that is opening in the fall is going to be incredible.

But don’t we want to respect the child! Why is to 100%? Based on what?