Men who turned out to be creeps/predators

[Anonymous]

Did you get a bad feeling when you met them?

[Anonymous]

Instantly. It was visceral.

[Anonymous]

Typically, yes. I tend to not like them even if initially unsure why. Agree on the visceral response.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea who turned out to be creepy or a predator. How do you guys know?

[Anonymous]

Yes. He was a friend of a friend and I immediately was wary of him. He was later arrested for domestic violence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea who turned out to be creepy or a predator. How do you guys know?

I mean I knew before I knew. But he’s in prison now. So I KNOW know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea who turned out to be creepy or a predator. How do you guys know?

I mean I knew before I knew. But he’s in prison now. So I KNOW know.

PP you replied to. Right, that's what I mean. I've met some people I instinctively recoiled from in my life, but I have no evidence that they were in any way abusive or criminal.

[Anonymous]

No, and it still scares the daylights out of me when I look back. Our next-door neighbor during my childhood was a pillar of the community and often a guest in our home. He had been sexually abusing his 2 stepdaughters since they were 8 years old. The younger one finally got the courage to report him when she was 15, her sister had already left for college by then. We never found out if their mother knew and kept quiet or she was oblivious, as they moved away quickly afterwards.

[Anonymous]

For most but not all. I had a good friend and colleague of many years that floored me and rocked my world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, and it still scares the daylights out of me when I look back. Our next-door neighbor during my childhood was a pillar of the community and often a guest in our home. He had been sexually abusing his 2 stepdaughters since they were 8 years old. The younger one finally got the courage to report him when she was 15, her sister had already left for college by then. We never found out if their mother knew and kept quiet or she was oblivious, as they moved away quickly afterwards.

OP - This is what I mean. The only thing I can think of is a teacher who openly flirted (and other brazen behavior) who eventually got caught at my high school.

But others… like my uncle who got arrested and never did anything to me, I never would’ve predicted.

[Anonymous]

Growing up, I had an uncle who gave me creepy vibes.

He also didn’t like me and was cold/distant toward me.

It made me sad because he was super friendly to my other cousins. Turns out, he was molesting a couple of them, so looking back, I’m glad he kept his distance from me!

[Anonymous]

Yes. Guy I worked with was very charismatic, and most people seemed to think he was great. We were part of a new hire cohort and were around each other a lot, including outside of work, but I really disliked him and avoided him most of the time. He left the field of work to coach football and teach. I was not shocked to hear a few years later that he was in prison for SA’ing teenage girls in his school.

[Anonymous]

I can always tell. And I'm always correct. I'm just naturally gifted at reading people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Growing up, I had an uncle who gave me creepy vibes.

He also didn’t like me and was cold/distant toward me.

It made me sad because he was super friendly to my other cousins. Turns out, he was molesting a couple of them, so looking back, I’m glad he kept his distance from me!

This, I have learned, can be a pattern with predators: a dynamic of in-group/out-group. Part of the grooming, I guess, to make some kids feel special

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea who turned out to be creepy or a predator. How do you guys know?

I mean I knew before I knew. But he’s in prison now. So I KNOW know.

PP you replied to. Right, that's what I mean. I've met some people I instinctively recoiled from in my life, but I have no evidence that they were in any way abusive or criminal.

I would trust that instinct. I really would. I’m old enough to have learned that the visceral ick is usually about *something.* Sometimes takes a long time to learn what or why. But I really think our bodies have built in alarm systems that work faster and often better than our cognition.