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Cycle, initimacy, cycle ...
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Anonymous
| Is it impossible to try to be intimate leading up to a next monthly cycle? I'm finding it tough to "schedule in" this time, just because of PMS type feelings ... Then, during that next few days of period, there is no mood/desire for it. So, that leads into the days coming upon the special fertility window. I have a feeling others can relate that although the body might be more amenable to intercourse at that time, there's lots of pressure to "get it right" and make time, during that time. Once the fertility window passes, I get dry and tight down there, and the desire wanes. My cycle is relatively short (25-26 days), so all this together makes it feel like there are only a few days during the month when comfortable intimacy might happen (even just for its sake alone, and not with the TTC goal). Can anyone relate ...? Any advice? Thanks in advance |
Anonymous
| I can totally relate especially during the PMS stage. I don't want to even cuddle, let alone to have an intercourse. I just become some kind of a monster with all these hormones raging in my body. Bu we do have sex during the "right" time. I am actually quite in the mood then and we use pre-seed to make the process even more enjoyable. I might try some other pleasure inducing lubricant during the non-fertile time since I don't think it's fair to my husband to have sex only a few times during one week a month. |
Anonymous
| Hi PP ... thanks for writing. It's definitely tough. I'm about to enter my next period--still have a few days to go--and feeling like a failure that I can't be intimate until that next "easier" time period. I agree with you that it is unfair to my husband to be so strictly controlled. I wish it to be different, so I do have to work on this... |
Anonymous
| I'm so envious that you have husbands that want to do it at all times, it seems like since we have been "officially trying" my husband has lost all desire. Sex has become a household chore, and I'm afraid we will need outside help because he doesn't want to have sex. FWIW this was never an issue prior to trying to have a baby, does this mean he doesn't really want kids? |
Anonymous
| PP, OP here - I'm sorry you guys have are having that trouble. But to be honest, I'm the last one you'd be envious of. Yes, DH has always wanted to have sex, but he has moods too, it's not like it would just happen at any time. In fact, I'm struggling to keep my the desire myself, because it is *so* difficult for me at times other than when it's easier (i.e., the special window). And, even during the window, it's like I'm seized up with a lot of pressure, because that easier time is so brief. This has affected my husband because it really is a chore to "get it right" during such a brief time. So ... we all have our own versions of difficulty. |
Anonymous
| (sorry for the errors ... sent to quick; OP) |
Anonymous
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To 16:40 poster: we've been actively TTC for the past 3 years. The first year my husband was not in the mood to have sex during the right time at all, so we missed a lot of opportunities. By now, both my and his biological clocks are loudly clicking and he is more cooperative. Plus I put him on a supplement called Maca (natural libido enhancer) and also Ogoplex and we haven't had any issues with getting him in the mood since he started taking the supplements.
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Anonymous
| No advice, but the book "Conception Chronicles" was a funny and empathetic book I read when we were TTC our son. I actually made DH read some laugh-out-loud parts so he could understand why I was moody... |
Anonymous
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Honestly, my libido is only good during maybe the 4 days leading up to ovulation. It is an obvious difference. It is enjoyable. But other than that, it seems like my hormones shut down, I don't want it and need tons of lub.
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Anonymous
| Hi recent posters, thanks for writing and sharing. PP, it seems we're just the same that way. It's so tough other than during those few days ... Your description is right on; I also do feel like I've hormonally shut down during the rest of the month. - OP |