Very dysfunctional family

[Anonymous]

So my son was telling me about the things my parents talked about when he was with them. FWIW I am estranged from them, not least because they went behind my back during a custody battle to seek favor with my ex-H. So he is still in touch with them. My kids do not see them often, but they have zero filter and are racist, sexist, etc. Their favorite topic of conversation which I remember (it’s been a few years) was making fun of my brother’s wife’s weight. And this is what they were saying in front of my son. I also have daughters and I am horrified by what they will pickup from them. There’s nothing I can do about them being in their presence. I think I can prevent any overnights, though.

Does anyone else have toxic family that their children are around? How do I minimize their influence?

[Anonymous]

Yes. Every family does.

But You simply do what you’ve been doing. Re enforce wherever values you have.

Be present and answer any questions your kids may have. Thank goodness they don’t live w them full time.

[Anonymous]

Is your son under 18 or is he 18 or older choosing to see them. If he is under 18 and wants to see them, then you set clear boundaries with them which they will ignore. Then you need to figure out, do you do supervised visits even though you are estranged , go with 3 strikes and you're out or hire somebody to do supervised visits with your own parents who knows to end the visit if your son tells them to refrain from fat-shaming/racist comments/ whatever and they refuse.

If your son desperately wants a relationship then you problem solve, but if he doesn't even want the relationship why are you forcing this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your son under 18 or is he 18 or older choosing to see them. If he is under 18 and wants to see them, then you set clear boundaries with them which they will ignore. Then you need to figure out, do you do supervised visits even though you are estranged , go with 3 strikes and you're out or hire somebody to do supervised visits with your own parents who knows to end the visit if your son tells them to refrain from fat-shaming/racist comments/ whatever and they refuse.

If your son desperately wants a relationship then you problem solve, but if he doesn't even want the relationship why are you forcing this?

I just posted, but is he seeing YOUR parents (as opposed to inlaws) when he is with your ex? In that case it is harder to set boundaries, but you can reinforce your values.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand how your kids are getting to your parent’s house?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your parents are as evil as they are toxic. Hang in there, OP.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like some context is needed here. Just how fat is your sister in law? I mean, if it's remarkable, it's remarkable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like some context is needed here. Just how fat is your sister in law? I mean, if it's remarkable, it's remarkable.

You are vile and rude. I hope you don't have children.

[Anonymous]

that's not very dysfunctional. I expected at least a convicted felon, a few kids as the result of an affair or at the very least a 60 year old uncle who still lives at home.

[Anonymous]

If you are estranged from them, how are they getting to your parents' house? I would stop all visits.