Dating 3 years, both divorced

[Anonymous]

(I suppose that makes us both divorcees but that sounds strange to me).

We are in our 40s. I have kids, he doesn’t. He has never brought up the topic of marriage. Is that “normal”/typical?

[Anonymous]

Have you brought it up? Because if it is not "normal," then you are both not normal.

Some people want to get married again and some don't. Those who don't aren't necessarily going to bring it up. I suppose it does seem weird that it never would have come up at all though, in some context. Especially since you have both been married before. Have you ever been to a wedding together? Had friends get engaged? Seen something on tv about how less people are getting married? Seems like there are so many things that would spur at least a bit of conversation on the topic.

Or do you mean he has "never brought up the topic of marriage" as in hasn't brought up the topic of marrying you specifically? Are you wanting him to? If so why aren't you bringing that up?

[Anonymous]

This is something you bring up in the first couple of dates when you both come clean and are mature and direct about what you are looking for.

[Anonymous]

After three years .. He isn't looking for marriage with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
After three years .. He isn't looking for marriage with you.

While this is probably true, consider that he may not want to get married again. That may have nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Many people who don't want kids together don't see big advantages in remarrying. When kids are already in the mix it makes it much more complicated.

[Anonymous]

Does he even want to get married again? I wouldn't - no need to intermix finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
After three years .. He isn't looking for marriage with you.

While this is probably true, consider that he may not want to get married again. That may have nothing to do with you.

He has no kids, so not looking for another mother for them. He doesn’t likely want kids at 40. If he marries her, his finances get mingled with her kids inheritance unless he stipulates a prenup. What would be upside?

[Anonymous]

Whether either party wants to get married again should come up in the early dating phase. So it is weird you never discussed it.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's normal it hasn't come up. 3 years is a long time. Both of you should have brought it up at some point even in casual conversation about what your goals are.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised it hasn't come up. I've dated three guys since 2020, and it came up early with each. Two were divorced recently but willing to marry again. The third was willing to commit to me but didn't want to marry, even with prenups.

What do you want, OP?

[Anonymous]

Seems odd to get married