Had drinks with a female friend and then left her to take public transport home. Two days and no response to texts.
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Anonymous
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Thoughts? Normally after a night out with friends there would be a ‘hey guys, fun night, see you at X (next event)!’
She’s been on a mini group chat with the other friend we saw- no response to several bursts of chat. And no response to my direct chats. WWYD? I feel unsure of pressing because she is a VERY private person at times, and there have been some strange periods where she goes dark after periods of being in contact a lot. I found out at one point that she just doesn’t like to mix her romantic life with friends, for one. (We communicate by text. We are not phone people. We text a lot and then meet up in person once a month or so. The last time she called me was when a friend died). |
Anonymous
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Allow her the space. You’re aware she’s a private person.
If anything just send a simple text outside of the group text “ just saying hi - hope all is well talk/text/see you/catch up soon” |
Anonymous
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If that's the way she communicates with her friends and you're just friends, sounds totally normal. I have friends who are terrible texters, too.
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Anonymous
| Maybe she was expecting the D and is disappointed she didn’t get it. |
Anonymous
| It's been 2 days, not 2 weeks. Maybe she's swamped with something at work. Maybe she's sick. Maybe she's overwhelmed by something in her private life and doesn't feel like texting. |
Anonymous
What is it that you want from her (besides a proof of life text)? |
Anonymous
Just proof of life. When I do see her, especially after a night out, there’s always a ‘got home safe, good to see you guys!’ text. I find it strange that there isn’t one. And to answer the poster above, I have already sent two offline texts to her directly. ‘Hope you got home ok!’ But again, she can be very private… |
Anonymous
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How many times have you texted her since seeing her in person just 2 days ago, presumably on a Saturday night?
Double texting (or more) and also expecting a response so soon after an irl hang comes off as pretty needy/clingy. |
Anonymous
Well, it’s that it’s inconsistent. She pretty much always texts something short after a meet up. That’s what gives me pause here. But yes, between meet ups she can go totally dark for a few weeks, whereas other times she will text chat non stop for days. |
Anonymous
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I think if you're worried about her, totally normal to send something like "Hey Larla - I just realized I hadn't heard from you since that night out a few days ago, and wanted to make sure you did get home okay and are alive"
I'm sure she'll respond with "Yes! Sorry, been busy but I'm alive!" and you can return to the normal order. |
Anonymous
Not sure I would care about that tbh. She’s my good friend. I’m not worried about looking needy to her. But as I mentioned, there’s a group chat we are both on, so there’s been chatter on that chain. She’d normally chime in. She didn’t. So yesterday I texted off line once. No response. So today I texted off the chain again. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
DP Are you an insecure guy? This isn’t a dating situation. Female friends who live alone in urban areas often have relationships where they check in like this. There is nothing needy about it. |
Anonymous
No, I’m a private, independent woman who lived alone in an urban area in my 20s and would be annoyed if my friend started assuming the worst after not texting back for *2 days* over the weekend. I have one mother already! |
Anonymous
| You left her to take public transport, so she probably got killed. |