Would this be over the top for neighbors returning from a long trip?

[Anonymous]

Our neighbors have been away since Christmas and asked if we’d keep an eye on their house while they were gone, nothing formal, just to watch for anything unusual. Of course we were happy to do it. After the recent storm, we also cleared the snow and ice from their walkway and let them know via a quick text that everything was taken care of.

To our surprise, they later mailed us money as thanks and insisted they wouldn’t take it back (we actually went through a similar back-and-forth with them years ago). While the gesture was incredibly generous, it also left me feeling a bit indebted, or at the very least wanting to find a way to show how much we genuinely value them as neighbors.

While they’ve been gone, we’ve also held onto some mail and a misdelivered package (they hadn’t updated their Amazon address yet), which we’ll bring over when they return. Would it be odd to also include a small “welcome back” gesture, maybe a potted spring flower (they love to garden) and a pack of muffins or something similar? I’d just like to convey that we truly appreciate them and enjoy having them as neighbors, but I don’t want it to come across as over the top.

[Anonymous]

I think you've both done enough, don't start a competition over who is more grateful. It sounds like they lean towards not wanting to be indebted so no gifts.

[Anonymous]

If you know the food they like, I'd put some basics in the fridge for them.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, you guys are now in a cycle of feeling indebted. I don't think muffins is a terrible idea, but nothing fancier than that. That can be something you all can enjoy together, not so much a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you know the food they like, I'd put some basics in the fridge for them.

I don’t have access to their home; no key.

[Anonymous]

Don’t do anything, OP. You already know they feel super grateful for your snow help and have had that awkward baxk and forth of money. Giving them a gift will stress them out and initiate a new round of back and forth.

[Anonymous]

Go have a nice dinner with your family with the money, and send them a pic of y’all enjoying yourselves and say thank you. It would be a win-win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you've both done enough, don't start a competition over who is more grateful. It sounds like they lean towards not wanting to be indebted so no gifts.

This

[Anonymous]

Yes weird Op. Don't do it. It would be going against, what you say you prefer for yourself - which is to not have the feeling of being indebted.

[Anonymous]

Yes it’s weird to bake muffins or brings flowers. It was fine of them to give you money. I understand it feels weird for you, but they were the ones asking for a favor. Accept and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you've both done enough, don't start a competition over who is more grateful. It sounds like they lean towards not wanting to be indebted so no gifts.

This

+1 We plan on being away for months at a time. We will probably hire someone to clear the snow/driveway, but we will ask the neighbors just to keep an eye out on the house. We usually hold our mail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do anything, OP. You already know they feel super grateful for your snow help and have had that awkward baxk and forth of money. Giving them a gift will stress them out and initiate a new round of back and forth.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Giving people a gift for the pleasure of watching their home and maintaining upkeep for 3 months is wild.

[Anonymous]

Wondering why you felt the need to text them that you took care of their snow and ice removal? In any case, no need to thank them for their thank you. Stop the madness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wondering why you felt the need to text them that you took care of their snow and ice removal? In any case, no need to thank them for their thank you. Stop the madness.

This. The first message sounded like you expected them to pay you in some way.