In need of some hope

[Anonymous]

Things have been rough lately and I have to admit my hope has faded. I am fully aware I am sinking into a depression and becoming one of those ladies who can focus on nothing but having a baby or in my case NOT having a baby. My DH is fed up, my mother avoids the topic like the plague and the only thing I have found to do is watch television or cook. Work is becoming difficult. Concentration on anything is difficult -- well anything other than figuring out what is wrong with me/us. And someone close to me just announced they are pregnant -- someone I have to see every day. I am happy for her, but it hurts so deeply. I need some words of hope something to keep me going -- and maybe you have nothing to give, but if you do -- I am so in need of it right now.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry you are going through this and all I can do is to comiserate. We've been trying to get pregnant for the past 3 years and still no baby. Last year my 40-year old co-worker who already has two grown up children got pregnant naturally after a long vacation, had an easy pregnany and delivered a healthy baby in April. So you can imagine how hard it was for me to see her growing belly every day, listen her talking about aches and pains and now listen how wonderful her baby is EVERY DAY (she sits next to me). I was so happy when she was away for 3 month on maternity leave.

Anyway, my advice is to stay focused. Treat this TTC journey like a project - if one thing doesn't work, let's try something else. That's what I am trying to do. If not, you WILL sink into depression and it's the worst thing you can do to yourself and the relationship with your loved ones.

I don't know your story, but I am about to turn 39, had a missed miscarriage last year and two failed IVF attempts this year, but is still hopeful.

[Anonymous]

Well, the support I can offer is that I've been there.


It's great that you are upfront and recognize where you are emotionally/mentally. I'm always a fan of counseling when it might help someone; if you search this board you may find someone who specializes in counseling for couples/individuals with IF issues.
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I'm there with you. Five miscarriages. IUIs work to get me pregnant, but all have ended in miscarriages at various points. Am 41 still with NO baby. There are times when it is hard to hang on to hope. But, I refuse to give up. I feel it in the depths of my soul. Yes, it does sometimes drive DH crazy. But, I have sought out this board for support and have carved out experiences to help me cope w/ the stress. Acupuncture, massage, the occasional pedicure, and some mostly minor retail therapy. Trying to learn meditation. I also try to learn about or try something new each week that will help my prognosis. Right now, I am trying an herbal approach.Knowing that I can still try and if anything, make progress on my physical health helps my mental health. Hnag in there