Need to decide today

[Anonymous]

So TTC #2 well over a year. Last cycle first visit with RE and did clomid, trigger shots, timed BD. BFN. Was told to call first day of my next AF (Today) if I wanted to work with them on the next cycle. The recommendation is same as above except with IUI instead of timed BD. I am 33 and all the tests came back fine for me and DH who is 39. IN fact, they wanted to jump into IUI the first month and I said no.

Part of me now that I know the tests are fine wants to just stop it all. Just try to relax more about it and keep trying on our own with OPKs and charting. But then I think then why did I start all of this? Why did I take the meds last month then? Why stop now-just do it. DH and I have said we would do 3 IUIs and that was it. Just do them and then see where you land. We were leaning against IVF initially, but I am now reconsidering that. We are also open to adoption, but are at least a year or so away from actively pursuing that measure. We are both committed to having more children in some way though.

The other part of me also recognizes that just because I had DC does not mean it will happen again and maybe I am wasting time and need help. None of my treatments are covered my insurance, which also plays a role in all of these decisions and even though I am a fed employee MDIPA won't cover IVF for unexplained infertility until TTC 2 years-which is close to another year off.

I literally have decided ok I am not going to do this right now. I can do the IUIs in a few months, but let me just regroup and then I feel this sense of relief. Then I see a picture of my DC as a baby or hear about my friend's newborn and panic that I won't have that again and feel like I must be aggressive. Then I decide I am going to call and set it all up. I am so confused. To make matters worse, it is all me pursuing all of these measures. My DH is supportive and will do what I ask because he knows it is important to me, but does not see the need to rush into such intense measures. In other words, he says whatever you want. Ugh.

I don't expect anyone to make the decision for me. I just feel lost. Any advice on how you all came to make the decision or any factors I should consider that I have not already would be great. Thanks and I really appreciate this board. I recognize that I already have a DC and that many of you do not. I just want to say I admire all of you for tirelessly trying to have a child. It is not easy and it is a hard road. You have my utmost respect and empathy. Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

Just curious, but with no known issues, isn't iui only a bit more effective than traditional bd?
I would do a ncivf
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

PP there are a lot of secondary infertility ladies on this board and it is tough, i think if you look through this site you'll find some threads on the subject. My DH and I were relaxed when we started trying for DC#2 but after 6 months we got anxious and went to an RE. The OPK's and sex on demand was difficult for my DH since he has to travel for work, so he was more eager to more to plan B than I was. Another factor was my age (36) I was 34 when I had my first so I knew the whole over 35 thing was a factor. It turned out we needed IVF to get pregnant although we tried IUI 3 times.

[Anonymous]

There are lots of secondary IF threads, here's one I posted to a while back:
http://fertilegrounds.dominionfertility.com/forum/topics/any-secondary-infertility

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you all so much. I am at Columbia Fertility with Dr. Sacks. I think I will try the IUI this cycle and see how it goes. I don't why I have this gut feeling, but I don't think it is going to happen without IVF. Thing is DH is not close to going that far yet. If we decide to go the IVF route eventually and the NCIVF route I guess we will have to switch to Dominion. I think we would have to get all the tests done again for that right? Will insurance cover that again when it was just done? Ugh. All of this is so stressful.

Thank you all for the posts and the link to the other thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious, but with no known issues, isn't iui only a bit more effective than traditional bd?
I would do a ncivf
Good luck!

I know this is what that stats say, but, in our experience (unexplained infertility, no luck TTC 1 year with timed BD and two cycles on clomid), IUI worked on the 1st cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious, but with no known issues, isn't iui only a bit more effective than traditional bd?
I would do a ncivf
Good luck!

I know this is what that stats say, but, in our experience (unexplained infertility, no luck TTC 1 year with timed BD and two cycles on clomid), IUI worked on the 1st cycle.

Worked 1st cycle for us, too.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PPs you are giving me hope!!

[Anonymous]

OP here-for the poster where IUI worked the first time, how big were your follicles when you triggered, how many did you have and did you do back to back IUIs?

[Anonymous]

In general, IUI is only a bit more effective that timed intercourse, but if you are on clomid, there can be a bit more of a benefit. Clomid can dry up your cervical mucous or make it more hostile to sperm, and IUI bypasses the cervix so you avoid that problem. So for that reason, I think if you are on clomid it might be worth giving IUI a shot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-for the poster where IUI worked the first time, how big were your follicles when you triggered, how many did you have and did you do back to back IUIs?

I had two follicles- both on the same side. I believe they were 17 and 19 when I triggered. We didn't do back to back, just one.