Moving to avoid two middle school changes
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Anonymous
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I’d really appreciate some perspective from other parents.
I’m a divorced parent with primary physical custody of one child. We live in the family home that I kept after the divorce, and his dad lives closer to the city and mostly has “weekend dad” time. My child starts middle school this fall. Because of the MCPS boundary study, we expect to be assigned to a different (and lower-rated) school than most of his friends. The implementation plan would have him attend the current middle school for 6th grade and then switch to a different school for 7th grade, which means two major school transitions in two years. Because of that, I’m considering leaving our current home and moving to a neighborhood that isn’t affected by the boundary changes. There are a few neighborhoods between here and his dad’s place where the school assignments are stable. The challenge is that this would be a big financial sacrifice. The homes there are smaller and my housing costs would increase by about 50%. I could make it work financially, but it’s a major trade-off. Pros of moving: Avoid the double middle school transition More kids in the neighborhood / better social opportunities for both of us Closer to dad, so weekday time together could be easier, and dad can help in ways that he can't now Potential to select neighborhood with better quality public schools than new assignments Cons of moving: Significant financial hit for me Longer commute Leaving a few close friends made through current school Big downgrade in housing quality Moving itself is also a big transition emotionally So I’m really torn. Is it better to keep the stability of our current home and absorb the school changes, or move to avoid the double transition? If you were in this situation, what would you prioritize? |
Anonymous
| I would not move because of the financial hit and the longer commute. The middle school switch will suck, but the administrators will be aware of the new cohort. |
Anonymous
| Sounds silly. He will be fine. |
Anonymous
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I don’t see those reasons adding up to moving. He will change schools along with a lot of other kids and they will be in it together.
Why did his dad move further away? |
Anonymous
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How far away is the dad now, how long ago did you get divorced, and how sensitive is your son?
I cannot believe that MCPS is making your son switch schools partway through middle school. That’s crazy. Middle school sucks anyway. In your shoes, I would probably stay put for sixth grade and then muddle through seventh and eighth grade. What is the plan for high school if you stay where you are and what is the plan for high school if you move? |
Anonymous
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Save the money, don't move, and spend a fraction of it helping him stay in touch with his friends. Join a team, share a camp, go to movies together.
My kids played remote video games with friends who moved away during the pandemic. This is a common way for boys to maintain friendships as life shifts around them. |
Anonymous
OP Dad is 30 minutes away, he moved out 2 years ago, divorce was just finalized. Son is sensitive and took the split hard. I give him a lot of support and he's in therapy. The school implementation is outrageous. The kids starting middle school this year are the same ones that started Kindergarten virtually during a global pandemic. Some genius in MCPS thinks it's acceptable to make them start middle school twice. The High School closer to his dad has better reputation. We will be zoned for Watkins Mill and dad is zoned for Blair. |
Anonymous
| If he’s sensitive and took the change hard, then don’t add the additional change of a move. |
Anonymous
| This sound like very little benefit compared to the costs. You’d be changing a lot to avoid one new middle school change. |
Anonymous
| How are the schools in Dad's neighborhood? |
Anonymous
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I wouldn’t move in your situation
Can you afford private for MS? |
Anonymous
| It's fine, your child will be fine changing schools. It's not worth a financial sacrifice. |
Anonymous
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I will be different and say move. My son didn’t have divorce in his background but the switch to the zoned MS was really hard for him and I can’t imagine having to do it twice, even with peers.
Our MS is also tougher than our ES, and I have absolutely seen it impact my kid’s motivation for school and willingness to seem smart. I still think he will be fine longterm but a stronger MS would make my current life easier for sure. |
Anonymous
| Do NOT move. I am a middle school teacher and also a parent who went through a divorce. My kids were in a private school in grade 5. I switched them in grade 6 to public. They didn't know anyone walking in. I am switching again for grade 7 as we are relocating across country. Keep the home base. Your child will adjust. Too many cons: financial and commute. |
Anonymous
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Is the move to stay in the same middle/high school pyramid that you were expecting pre-rezoning? Any chance the dad would move into the zone and you can stay where you are but your son could attend based on his address? Does your son already have a good group of friends that will be at the school?
Middle school is the worst, being a new kid can be hard. If there are a lot of kids shifting with him it may be less hard than starting from scratch. |