Is this weird?
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Anonymous
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I spoke to a new guy I met somewhere that I go, we are not dating or romantically interested, and he asked who I hang out with. I told him, that I don’t have any friends. I said I sometimes I spend time with my parents.
He looked kinda confused and asked, “How do you not want friends?” I told him I just don’t feel the need for any, they’re not a benefit to my life. I’m good without any. He then said it was “weird” that I have zero friends. Is that really so strange? I get that people value having a friend group, but is it odd to have zero friends? |
Anonymous
| Yes |
Anonymous
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It's weird, I'm saying that as someone who is very introverted and makes jokes about being a hermit. I have 1 "best friend," beyond that 1-3 people who I see a couple of times per year.
ZERO friends is pretty extreme and I personally wouldn't want to date anyone who doesn't have at least 1 friend. |
Anonymous
| Yes, because a romantic partner can not be your everything. They can't meet every need and want you have. That level of dependence isn't healthy. |
Anonymous
Yes. Very. Red flag too. |
Anonymous
| I would be worried about your social skills if you have never been able to build and maintain a friendship. Or never felt you needed one. |
Anonymous
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Yes. I see you, autistic OP. I have an autistic young adult son with no friends whatsoever, and an autistic teen daughter who has one friend, and who, when a classmate described himself as her friend, replied: "I don't classify you as a friend, because I don't know you well enough. You are a friendly acquaintance." And then her psychologist and I needed to explain at length how that was not quite a socially-appropriate answer.
High-functioning autism is not a big deal, but it will help, OP, if you go through life trying to improve your self-awareness, as well as accumulate reference points for what's "typical behavior" and what's "neurodivergent". There will be times you will have to mask, and times you can be yourself with people you trust. |
Anonymous
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What will you do when your parents pass away? Do you have siblings?
I don't have many friends, especially after I moved to the DC area, but yea, it's odd to not have at least one friend. And I say this as a "hermit" and "loner", per my friends. |
Anonymous
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Yes. It’s weird.
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Anonymous
| Yes it’s unusual OP. |
Anonymous
I am dating someone, and I do not need him to meet every need. |
Anonymous
| Sometimes, it's a massive red flag when a person has a lot of friends. Sometimes, it's a massive red flag when a person has no friends. It all depends on the reasons why. The idea that no friends is automatically a red flag is a very American mentality. I have lived in a dozen countries and in no other country have people been so obsessed at pointing out all the friends they have. Most other cultures pride themselves on keeping their circles small and few to no friends are considered smarter than a wide range of "friends" who typically won't be there for you. |
Anonymous
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Who cares if it’s weird? If this is a dealbreaker for him, send him packing. You are who you are, OP, and if someone isn’t comfortable with your truth, they are free to leave.
Next! |
Anonymous
Kudos to this poster for doing what DCUM does best sometimes. This was a very useful post for me to see to educate me and this was hopefully a useful post for OP to understand why some people may find this weird. Thank you. |
Anonymous
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Yes you're weird. You'd be less weird if you had no friends yet wanted some, but to not have friends and NOT want any is weird.
And I say this as an introvert who is probably on the spectrum and kind of quirky. Yet I have friends. |