What's "normal" for aging? Not just about looks

[Anonymous]

In 40s, dated a couple of guys in their mid to late 50s. They were nice guys but it didn't last long for reasons that had nothing to do with age or aging. I did notice that one of them sometimes couldn't remember words a few times. He recovered them quickly so it wasn't a big deal. Both were active and fit but one of them tired out after a while of not very strenuous activity like walking around a city.

How much of this is normal? How does this change with men in their 60s in your experience? Have you noticed a gradual or steep decline and at what point? Does it plateau out during a certain age and then get worse later?

[Anonymous]

This makes me worried.

[Anonymous]

Everyone (hopefully) gets old. Are you under the impression that you'll stay the same until you die?

This is why people should date as close to their age as possible. I am 47 and my partner is 51. He has been taking Cealis for a few years and I am in perimenopause and the brain fog and everything else is pretty real. We don't look at each other and get scared at the prospect of getting old. We laugh about it and try to be gracious and understanding.

[Anonymous]

Aging is a step function ime. Plateau, drop, plateau.
Are you confounding "active and fit" with weight and muscles? Those don't correlate perfectly with aerobic or cardio fitness.
The forgetting things is odd. Unusual in healthy 50s.

[Anonymous]

I am 50 and this does not sound normal at all. Are they overweight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone (hopefully) gets old. Are you under the impression that you'll stay the same until you die?

This is why people should date as close to their age as possible. I am 47 and my partner is 51. He has been taking Cealis for a few years and I am in perimenopause and the brain fog and everything else is pretty real. We don't look at each other and get scared at the prospect of getting old. We laugh about it and try to be gracious and understanding.

I don't think I'm not being understanding. I'm just curious because most friends are in the early to mid-40s and are only starting to grapple with aging things.
No obesity. Normal, fit guys who can run a few miles comfortably at least I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 50 and this does not sound normal at all. Are they overweight?

I do know women who are exhausted all the time, but it's menopause and they are also working FT and moms so there's that.

[Anonymous]

I think for mental big change starts to happen for most men in the 60s. Physically they are already declining by the 50s. Does that mean that if you start dating someone in their late 50s that you'll only have a few years of not taking care of them? I don't know.

[Anonymous]

This is why people tell women in their 40s and 50s and even 60s who come on here asking for dating advice are told to date younger.

[Anonymous]

DH started to decline faster in their late 50s, now 61. I'm 55, and started noticing declines around 52. Agree, this is why women should not date too much older men.

[Anonymous]

51 year old woman here. The brain fog of late perimenopause and menopause is real. This includes forgetting words. I’m not sure about men in this regard. DH is mid 50s and he is definitely declining both mentally and physically in my opinion, but I’m not sure if he’d agree. It’s subtle. Also, things like eating, exercising, living an healthy lifestyle etc. go along way at this age. Up until mid 40s, you can get by cutting corners.

[Anonymous]

DH is a much older 63 than I am at 60. Differences: he drinks too much, is 60 pounds overweight and has no job or volunteer commitments. I work full time in a demanding job, keep my weight down and volunteer.

[Anonymous]

For women - hormone replacement therapy is a godsend for brain fog and other important things too numerous to mention.

I am 61, DH is 55. Two college age kids. If you don’t use it you lose it starts to get real right around our ages.

Also, having something you care about that you are responsible to do may be the most important thing as you age.

[Anonymous]

It's one thing if you are in a long marriage or relationship and age together. That's a wonderful thing.

But if you meet someone already in decline or only get a little time before they decline I wonder if it's worth it.

[Anonymous]

dated someone in his late 60 who was diagnosed with a neurodegerative disease a couple of years after we broke up. Also dated someone with a similar age gap (16 years) who was diagnosed with cancer a few years post-breakup.