Divorce lawyer recs Moco-

[Anonymous]

Prefer someone with a little warmth and who is into settling/mediation, not a big fight.

[Anonymous]

That's not how to select a lawyer. Look for someone who will prioritize maximizing your outcome. Someone who will listen to what you want to have happen when you're on the other side of this, and who is experienced in making this happen. The only thing I would maybe look for is someone with a reputation for being willing to go to court. You need someone who knows how to negotiate so that you never end up in court. Sometimes, that means having a reputation for being a crazy SOB who won't be the first to flinch. Negotiation can sometimes be like a game of chicken. Oh- And do NOT ever go with an idiot attorney who segments the various matters to be resolved and has you agree to those in batches. You need to keep all things in play so that you can trade them off for the ones that matter to you. Maybe you want to stay in the house and take over the 2% mortgage payments so you'll trade something in the college fund. You can't do that if you've already signed and sealed the college fund provision.

Ideally, don't even start with engaging a lawyer. Write down the pertinent info on a paper and spend one hour talking with/interviewing attorneys to see whether they think your case is going to be any different from the 95% of cases that turn out exactly like they would have if the parties had just drafted a document that followed your jurisdiction's prevailing guidelines on things like assets, alimony, and child support/custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's not how to select a lawyer. Look for someone who will prioritize maximizing your outcome. Someone who will listen to what you want to have happen when you're on the other side of this, and who is experienced in making this happen. The only thing I would maybe look for is someone with a reputation for being willing to go to court. You need someone who knows how to negotiate so that you never end up in court. Sometimes, that means having a reputation for being a crazy SOB who won't be the first to flinch. Negotiation can sometimes be like a game of chicken. Oh- And do NOT ever go with an idiot attorney who segments the various matters to be resolved and has you agree to those in batches. You need to keep all things in play so that you can trade them off for the ones that matter to you. Maybe you want to stay in the house and take over the 2% mortgage payments so you'll trade something in the college fund. You can't do that if you've already signed and sealed the college fund provision.

Ideally, don't even start with engaging a lawyer. Write down the pertinent info on a paper and spend one hour talking with/interviewing attorneys to see whether they think your case is going to be any different from the 95% of cases that turn out exactly like they would have if the parties had just drafted a document that followed your jurisdiction's prevailing guidelines on things like assets, alimony, and child support/custody.

But consults are hundreds of dollars

[Anonymous]

Lawyers have different reputations. Some are needlessly litigious. Some are weak. Find someone who can accomplish your individual goals without getting pushed around and without wasting your time and money and without creating unnecessary conflict.

There are quite a few lists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's not how to select a lawyer. Look for someone who will prioritize maximizing your outcome. Someone who will listen to what you want to have happen when you're on the other side of this, and who is experienced in making this happen. The only thing I would maybe look for is someone with a reputation for being willing to go to court. You need someone who knows how to negotiate so that you never end up in court. Sometimes, that means having a reputation for being a crazy SOB who won't be the first to flinch. Negotiation can sometimes be like a game of chicken. Oh- And do NOT ever go with an idiot attorney who segments the various matters to be resolved and has you agree to those in batches. You need to keep all things in play so that you can trade them off for the ones that matter to you. Maybe you want to stay in the house and take over the 2% mortgage payments so you'll trade something in the college fund. You can't do that if you've already signed and sealed the college fund provision.

Ideally, don't even start with engaging a lawyer. Write down the pertinent info on a paper and spend one hour talking with/interviewing attorneys to see whether they think your case is going to be any different from the 95% of cases that turn out exactly like they would have if the parties had just drafted a document that followed your jurisdiction's prevailing guidelines on things like assets, alimony, and child support/custody.

But consults are hundreds of dollars

Don’t even think about hiring a divorce attorney if you aren’t ready to do 3-4 consults first. Take this PP’s advice (which is excellent advice, btw- I am deep into a divorce that my partner wanted to be “collaborative” but is a true high-conflict nightmare and I would have been screwed if I had trusted the process or looked for someone “nice”) and prepare for the conversations thoroughly.

You will get a LOT out of that initial $1500-2000 spending on consults and that knowledge, if applied thoughtfully, will save you thousands as you spend down your retainer once you hire someone.