Help with Plan for Emotionally Struggling 1st Grader
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Anonymous
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My nephew is really struggling emotionally with first grade. He sees a therapist (does not seem to be helping) and the elementary school has been sending him to the school psychologist (I think this is only once per week). He is bright and reads at above his grade level, but refuses to do work he is not interested in, like math. He is throwing huge temper tantrums about: 1) getting on the bus in either direction (this has been dropped) and even getting to school so he is always late 2) at school whenever there are specials (STEAM, library, gym), 3) seemingly random times at school, and 4) interaction with a SPED kid in class who has an aid and who repeatedly threatens to kill nephew or who threatens other kids nephew sticks up for. When I say temper tantrums, they are out of control and they've been happening pretty much daily now. Screaming, crying, hitting and kicking adults, trying to hit windows and break them, attempting to elope, mocking the adult, saying mean things to teachers (calling them fat, making fun of their accents. etc.), you name it. This can go on for hours. The school has been mostly sending him home (which has caused my sister to lose the job she needs to support him as a single mom). The school system is supposedly "working on a plan." There has been an initial IEP meeting but nothing else. My sister is really at her wits end. He does not always act like this. He has tantrums like this at home sometimes (particularly around going to school or anywhere he doesn't want to go), but is usually a kind, articulate, curious, and likeable kid. He refuses to talk about the incidents and trying to force him to discuss sends him off into another tantrum.
This can't go on this way. Not to mention the poor teachers and administrators who are having to deal with this. She needs support at school and at home and she is lowish income (to no income due to having to leave jobs to deal with getting him at school multiple times per week). Mostly she just gets complaints and lectures from the school about how his behavior has to change (duh). How do I help my sister get the support she needs? Suggestions? |
Anonymous
| Has the child ever been in daycare? Did the mom have a job before this? |
Anonymous
| Yes. He went to nursery school with little issue. She has always worked. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like he needs to have an IEP as well. |
Anonymous
| OP: Kindergarten was not a breeze, but he was not throwing these crazy tantrums |
Anonymous
| OP: There is no doubt he needs an IEP. What is taking so long, though? Can a school just keep sending him home multiple times per week like this? |
Anonymous
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I would suggest considering a day hospital program including a full neuropsychological assessment. A step down from that would be getting
a psychiatric assessment and perhaps an assessment by the school social worker to see if everyone can get a sense of what’s changed over the last year. It could be that he has undiagnosed issues that the relatively more demanding first grade classroom environment has somehow activated. If you’re someone he trusts, have you asked him about what’s changed (without his mother present?) This doesn’t have to be an issue of “forcing “ him, but chatting while you draw or do some other activity that he likes. Can you identify anything else that’s changed in his life during the last year or so? Stressor #4 sounds like a big deal in and of itself. At minimum, impulse control disorders and ADHD should be assessed and ruled out, and I’m guessing that the school IEP team can’t really fully address that on their own. |
Anonymous
| This probably should be moved to the special needs forum where you will find parents who have been there done that. |
Anonymous
| If you aren't going to pay for private or therapy, stay out of it.. |
Anonymous
Has the Mom requested an evaluation in writing? That is the first step in the process. If Mom has asked for an evaluation and they have not set up the necessary meetings in a timely fashion, she will need to look up the time requirements, she needs to send an email requesting the evaluation and point out that they are out of compliance with the time line. There is a site called Wrights Law that specializes in SPED laws and how to have a child evaluated and the IEP process. Look there. It sounds like the child is in desperate need of an evaluation and help. |
Anonymous
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You will get better respon if you post this in special needs forum.
As for my suggestion, ask his pediatrician first what step to do. Its is very likely your nephew has diagnosis and he needs support at school through Iep. |
Anonymous
+1 He needs an aid himself. |
Anonymous
| He may have autism. Autistic kids have lots of tantrums and meltdowns when they are overloaded with sensory input (like a busy classroom). I agree he needs a neuro evaluation - your sister needs to get on the waiting list ASAP as it can take a while to get in. Once he gets a diagnosis, they can tailor his IEP better. And yes, he should get an IEP ASAP. |
Anonymous
Anonymous
| You need to reach out to your school board member. |