I’m hurt. That’s how I’d put it, hurt.

[Anonymous]

I learned today that DD 7 is being accused of “bullying.” She (the teacher, that is) tells me that she supposably makes fun of a ton of kiddos, but specifically one girl for her clothing, hair, and personal interests (she called her “a nerd” because she likes reading, which is crazy to me as a proud nerd who thought I was raising one as well!). I’m sad my daughter would do such things and I of course yelled at her, punishments, but what to do for a permanent solution? I’m hurt, I don’t know.

[Anonymous]

1. Do not yell at your child.
2. There is no "of course" to punishments.
3. You need to explain why it was wrong to criticize other kids.
4. She's young, and probably wanted to enjoy a little power over others, without understanding that such dominance is frowned upon and not ethical. You need to say: "how would it make you feel if someone else did that to you?" And appeal to her sense of fairness and justice.
5. It's more effective to remind her multiple times about how not to bully others, than it is to go off the deep end once and then forget all about it. Do not make her obey you out of fear. Make her understand why there are rules in the first place.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you let yourself be guided by your emotions. Don't do that. You will punish her for the wrong reasons. You need to educate, and yes, perhaps mete out consequences. But don't start off from a place of retaliation and reflexive resentment.

[Anonymous]

Maybe stop bullying her. Look in the mirror.

[Anonymous]

Don't yell at her about this. Its not helpful.
You need to step back and evaluate how you treat people or talk about people in front of others. She is learning this from somewhere.
Be Kind always, even if you don't understand, be kind. Teach empathy. Talk about others differences as a positive. Read age appropriate books about different people.

[Anonymous]

Minutor her tv/app use. She's learning catty behavior from somewhere. If she's on an iPad, get rid of it.

[Anonymous]

How did she learn what a "nerd" is? And please don't say "kiddos" it's like nails on a chalkboard especially in a serious post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did she learn what a "nerd" is? And please don't say "kiddos" it's like nails on a chalkboard especially in a serious post.

See also: “supposably”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did she learn what a "nerd" is? And please don't say "kiddos" it's like nails on a chalkboard especially in a serious post.

See also: “supposably”

From the dictionary: “Supposably” is a word, it has a meaning (“as may be conceived or imagined”) that is distinct from most uses of supposedly.

[Anonymous]

I think it's telling that you put "bullying" in quotes. You need to have a serious discussion with your daughter about how hurtful and damaging this is. Just punishing her is not going to do the trick. She needs to learn empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Minutor her tv/app use. She's learning catty behavior from somewhere. If she's on an iPad, get rid of it.

That’s not true. This has been happening way before iPads and everything else.

I knew the bullies well because they were by daughters friends. She went to a new school in 3rd grade and two girls claimed her. I found out soon enough that they made fun of others girls clothes, hair, everything. They were just plain mean. One of them had a mother just as mean.

In 3rd, 4th and 5th grades the teachers told me that she should find new friends. She was nothing like them but might get lumped in with them.

These girls intimidated the other girls easily. One of them was homely and had mall clothes. The other had an overbearing mother who had her in matching clothes with long thick hair perfectly styled.

Don’t try to blame social media or anyone but the mean child and the parents

[Anonymous]

She's human. People are mean. She needs to learn to be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Minutor her tv/app use. She's learning catty behavior from somewhere. If she's on an iPad, get rid of it.

That’s not true. This has been happening way before iPads and everything else.

I knew the bullies well because they were by daughters friends. She went to a new school in 3rd grade and two girls claimed her. I found out soon enough that they made fun of others girls clothes, hair, everything. They were just plain mean. One of them had a mother just as mean.

In 3rd, 4th and 5th grades the teachers told me that she should find new friends. She was nothing like them but might get lumped in with them.

These girls intimidated the other girls easily. One of them was homely and had mall clothes. The other had an overbearing mother who had her in matching clothes with long thick hair perfectly styled.

Don’t try to blame social media or anyone but the mean child and the parents

It's just life. I'm sure those girls turned out okay, or maybe not -- maybe they're mean moms now, too. But there is nowhere on this planet that is free of mean people. It's just life.

[Anonymous]

Maybe find out why she has been behaving this way. Is she being bullied? Talk to her about it. Maybe she is jealous? You have to ask her why she has been treating kids the way she has. Are there other kids involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did she learn what a "nerd" is? And please don't say "kiddos" it's like nails on a chalkboard especially in a serious post.

See also: “supposably”

From the dictionary: “Supposably” is a word, it has a meaning (“as may be conceived or imagined”) that is distinct from most uses of supposedly.

Well OP used it wrong as most people do. I’m with the nails on the chalkboard. Op I. Sorry you are disappointed. That isn’t fun. I agree with the group who says talk to your daughter. Try to read some books where the main character is bullied and describe the feelings. The boy in the never ending story is one that jumps into mind.