Ex bought DD BMW-X1

[Anonymous]

Ex bought daughter a new BMW for her 16th, didn’t ask if I was okay with it, and older child didn’t get one too. Well, now DD is super into driving and is hyper about getting her license even though she failed her permit test twice. How safe would this car be for her? She’s hyper and irresponsible, so I’m worried about that, but Ex seems to not care.

[Anonymous]

You are divorced, he can do what he wants. Just hae him leave it at his house and he pays insurance.

[Anonymous]

And, if she's failing her permit, make her take the drivers class before taking it again and work with her.

[Anonymous]

Don't let her drive without a license. Make her keep the car at the ex's house. She ought to be on his insurance.

[Anonymous]

What a waste. I hope her 529 is fully funded and she has a Roth IRA. If not, sell the car and invest in her future. Your ex is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Most young teen drivers I've known get into accidents.

If your ex drives that level of luxury car, I'd say it's normal.

It's an acceptable category of car and probably has good safety sensors. People do think SUVs are capable but bad driving is bad driving.

If I were you, I'd be glad if she stayed at the permit stage. The longer the better. The older the child, the more mature the brain.

Have your ex pay for any accident repairs.

There was a girl in my high school who received a fancy sportscar for her 16th with a vanity license plate with her first name. It may not have been her fault but that car got totaled within a year while she was driving with friends. Luckily they were all unhurt. Her next car was a very boring sedan with the family's last name as a vanity plate. I have never forgotten that. Make sure there are consequences for bad driving.


You may want to enable a digital nanny app to make sure your kid is not speeding. Also I suggest that you have a no phone use while driving policy. Phone use only when parked. Eyes off the road at the wrong time can be fatal.

[Anonymous]

My stepson is a tow truck driver. Most of the cars that he picks up in crashes have less than 3000 miles on them.

Also, about 80 percent of his calls are from crashes at intersections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a waste. I hope her 529 is fully funded and she has a Roth IRA. If not, sell the car and invest in her future. Your ex is an idiot.

+1

[Anonymous]

529? Roth? Are you kidding?

Make sure one of you has excellent health insurance, including catastrophic coverage for when she crashes and hurts herself.

Get really good car insurance for when she hurts someone else.

[Anonymous]

Teens in fancy new cars asking for trouble. His poor judgement and can't do much about it. Sounds like he was trying to give her incentive to pass the permit test but not even having a permit or license and buying the car is NUTS and setting entitled president for trouble down the road.
Sorry..it sucks but I would just say to your ex he sets the bar he can deal with the consequences which hopefully don't result in major harm or worse to her or others.

[Anonymous]

Here is a great example of parents and entitled teens: Friend of my daughter was in a car accident with a new driver (who was only to have one passenger..there were 4 crammed into the car). The car was a brand new tricked out Jeep. Totaled the car, thankfully no one in the car was hurt. Teen driver got off with a warning somehow..no idea and parents replaced totaled car with another fancy new car. CRAZY TOWN

[Anonymous]

But he won’t be the only one dealing with those consequences.

[Anonymous]

I have a new X3, and looked at an X1. They do have a ton of safety features. The big problem is that it is really really easy to go fast without really realizing it, which can get a new driver in a lot of trouble.

Hopefully, she will get A LOT of driving under her belt by the time she is eligible for her license, and will turn out to be a decent driver. My daughter has a lot of friends who had the bare minimum hours without having a varied amount of driving experience (night, narrow roads with one lane each way, winding roads, driving in the rain/snow, etc.) by the time they hit their eligibility, and are as a consequence, not very good drivers. So many rely on their car's ability to keep them out of trouble.

[Anonymous]

It's a car, OP. It's a stupidly expensive purchase, but it's still just a car, not worse or better than so many others. Your child needs to be a responsible driver and obey all of your rules around driving, otherwise you take the keys. You would do this regardless of what car she drove.

If she's hyperactive, she needs to be on her ADHD meds when she drives.

The older sibling not getting a car sounds quite unfair. Raise that issue with ex (if it's his child as well). Or perhaps the siblings can share.

[Anonymous]

Oh yes. Get one for the sibling too. They can both crash.

Criminally negligent parents.